7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 31

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  Asks the question:  Do Men Need Help?  Enjoy!

— 2 —  Lost DocumentWORD: Last Saturday I spent a good part of the day writing several future posts.  But, when I woke up on Sunday, the document was gone.  I mean nowhere to be found on the computer.  Even Gregg, my computer guru, was perplexed.

I arrived at Mass in a sour mood.  My mind was occupied trying to figure out what happened.  I kept saying, “Lord you know how hard I worked on that document!”  Then, the readings started.  First, the reading from Proverbs:

“…When the Lord established the heavens……..when he marked out the vault over the face of the deep….when he made firm the skies above….when he fixed fast the foundations of the earth..”

Followed by the reading from Romans 5 where we are instructed to “boast in our afflictions which lead to character.”  Here I was, worried about my little document and it was like the Lord was saying, “Where were you when I was creating the heavens and the skies and the earth?”  

It gave me peace about the fact that if He wanted that document to be found, it would have been found.  I work for Him.  He does not work for me.  So, this week’s post was delayed until Thursday because I had a heck of a time recreating my thoughts and writing in the evening after work is difficult for me.  I pray that I allowed the Holy Spirit to speak through me!

— 3 — Angel Baby #59:  This story was heart wrenching!  Did you see his sweet little face when he was finally freed from the sewer pipe?

— 4 —  Spotlight On #1This week’s first spotlight is on JC Sanders for his insightful post on Ignitum Today.  He draws a distinction between abstinence, chastity and purity.  These words have gone viral lately and he puts it all in perspective.  Great job, JC!

— 5 —  Spotlight On #2:  Gotta shine the light on another fellow blogger. I have shared posts from Brantly Millegan from Young, Evangelical and Catholic before. He knocked it out of the ballpark with this post about how he and his wife became convinced about the immoral nature of contraception.  He is doing a series and this is part 2. 

— 6 — Worthy BookSpotlight On: #3  This post by Amanda Mortus was viral worthy.  Get it, viral Worthy?  🙂  Anyway, every girl needs to read it. Please,  Raise Your Standards, Ladies!  Excellent post, Amanda!

— 7 — Guest Posts:  I have all kinds of guest posts lined up for this Summer!  I am really excited to share with you the wisdom from these other bloggers!  If any of you (bloggers and non-bloggers) would like to do a guest post, I would welcome that!

  • Are you married and can you see, in hindsight, the concept of The Veil?
  • Did it seem that all other men (or women if you are a guy) were unable to see you but once you met your husband (or wife) it was like a veil was lifted?
  • How about marital chastity?  Are you experiencing the power of Superabundance from marital chastity?
  • Anyone out there had a change of heart concerning contraception?
  • Reverse vasectomies?  (Seriously, this is an amazing grace…the stories of renewed marriages are epic!)
  • Finally, if you are single, does it seem like you are invisible?  Have you experienced a feeling that the guys you are dating can’t see you?  They like you but something is preventing them from moving forward toward marriage?

I would love to hear from you!!  Of course, your guest post can be anonymous.  🙂

God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Do Men Need Help?

Have you ever had an encountered with a guy who flirts with you but never follows up?  Did you blame yourself?  Where you tempted to follow-up with him in the hopes of it turning into a date?

It is easy to think that your response to a man’s flirtation is either too enthusiastic or too nonchalant and that if you could just strike the perfect balance, you would secure more dates.  It is also easy to believe that if a man does not follow-up, then it is because he needs your help.

We Respond

Emotional Chastity includes the understanding that the responsibility for the initiation, follow-up and pursuit lies on the man.  As the girl, your job is only to respond. So, what is the best way to respond to those initial flirtations by men?  What is the fine line between a proper, balanced response and ‘helping’ the man?  Does he even need your help?

Dropping Your Hanky

I received an email from a girl named Becky asking for my advice.  Becky met a guy who flirted with her during a tour he had given to her and a couple of her friends. His flirting seemed to be directed at her specifically. She was highly attracted to him and he was exactly her type.  From the way she described him, he was gorgeous, successful and confident.  He was also not wearing a ring.

So, Becky did a little research on Facebook and Google.  She learned that he was not married.  Check!  He was Catholic.  Check!  And, that he was also slightly older than her.  Check!  So, she asked me if I thought it would be okay if she sent him a little email thanking him for the tour.

Because of her description of him, I did not feel that he was in need of encouragement from girls.  But, I have been wrong, so wrong, before.  So, I told her that her email could be thought of as an old-fashioned ‘dropping your hanky.’  If he picks it up, great!  If he doesn’t, then she at least knows his intentions towards her.

So, she sent him an email.  He responded with a polite, “You are welcome.  Nice to meet you too!”  It seems he did not need any encouragement from her.  Mr. Gorgeous, Successful and Confident knows how to pursue a girl.  He does not need help.

Examples Of Helping

Oh there are so many examples of ‘helping’ to pick from!  Here are some things that we girls do in order to help the relationship get started or continue:

  • Asking for his number, email, twitter, facebook account
  • Directly asking him out on a date
  • Contacting his mother, sister, brother, best friend
  • Changing Churches in the hopes of running into him
  • Unnaturally placing yourself anywhere in his orbit
  • Sending him an email or text, commenting on his FB page, calling him
  • Frequenting his workspace, workplace, dorm
  • Becoming a doormat in order to make the relationship easy for him

Men Decide, We Consider

Another part of Emotional Chastity is realizing how romance works.  In this post, I wrote:

“…Do not even consider a guy or allow him to occupy your heart or thoughts until he has taken you on 3 dates.  Yes, 3 real dates where he pays and impresses you.  Why?  ….because that gives the guy enough time to decide on you.  And, if he has decided on you, then you can consider him.  But, not until then.  That is just the way it works.  Sigh.”

In the world of romance, men decide on us first and then we get to consider them. My Mom always told me this and I did not believe her. I did not like the consider-this-subset-of-men-only rule. I guess I was concerned that I would not like the men that decided on me and therefore my pool of candidates to consider needed to be expanded through my helpful actions. In my younger years, I was a helper of the doormat variety.  LOL

Trust in the LordFaith

Emotional Chastity begins with the belief that you can trust God and that He has a plan for your life and for your vocation.  Once you have this belief, you will have peace. This peace will guide you in all your actions and responses to men.  It will free you from the belief that you have to help men.


Emotional Chastity also requires that you believe in the Supernatural realm.  It is in that realm where God fulfills His plan.  If your vocation was left simply in the natural realm, then I would advise you to do all you can to capture your man before some other girl gets him.  Help him, call him, email him, text him and chase him.  Be the doormat.

But that is not how God designed us women.  He designed us to be the receivers and the responders.  He designed men to be the initiators and the pursuers.  Therefore, you can count on God to infuse Supernatural grace into your man so that he will not need your help.

Of course, this can only happen within the Supernatural realm of God’s will.  So, stay in His will.  Do not stray from His path.

stop yourselfOnce you wrap your arms around this truth, you will have peace even when guys fail to follow-up with you.  You will be able to stop yourself from following up with them, helping them in their pursuit or becoming the doormat.  You will be able to temper your emotions. You will be able to wait on the Lord and His Supernatural Grace.

How Should You Respond?

You will not know if the man who is flirting with you is the one that God has for you so if a man starts to flirt with you, what should you do?  For example, what if you meet a man at Home Depot and he flirts with you?  What if he asks for your number?  What if he texts you instead of calls you? What if he calls once but never follows up beyond that?  What if he never calls? What if he says, “We should go out sometime.”?

If our job is to respond, what should our response be to each of the above scenarios?  Next week, I will share with you some ideas on how to respond.

God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 30

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  Is……an oldie but goodie.  Check out The Chase.  May you be blessed!

— 2 —  TridentineMass-1-1The Latin Mass:  My family and I went to our first Tridentine Latin Mass on Pentecost Sunday.  I was in awe of the reverence and the heavenly chanting and divine incense.  Ahhhh. We all loved it!  All one hour and forty-five minutes of it!  It did, however, make me appreciate the Novus Ordo  Mass (the one we normally attend).  I began to replay the beautiful words of the Mass in my head this week: “Blessed are you Lord God of all creation.  Through Your goodness.  Holy, Holy, Holy Lord.  Heaven and Earth are full of Your glory.  Through my fault, through my most grevous fault.”

— 3 — Matt Maher:  Have you heard his song “It is Good” from his new album?  It is so Old Testament and makes me want to get up and dance!

It is good to praise the Lord;  And make music to the name of God 
To  proclaim your love and faithfulness; All the day and through the  night
Get your hands up;  Get your hands up;  Get your hands up;  Get your hands up”

— 4 —  Spotlight onThis week’s spotlight is on Brianna Heldt!  Did you see this amazing post, Are Men Born To Cheat?  She is seriously one of my favorite bloggers. 

— 5 —  Sirach 5Yesterday’s Mass Readings:  Were sooo beautiful!  First we have the Book of Sirach 5:1-10.  

“Rely not on your wealth; say not: “I have the power.”  Rely not on your strength in following the desires of your heart.  Say not: “Who can prevail against me?” for the LORD will exact the punishment. Say not: “I have sinned, yet what has befallen me?” for the LORD bides his time.  Of forgiveness be not overconfident, adding sin upon sin. Say not: “Great is his mercy; my many sins he will forgive.”  For mercy and anger alike are with him; upon the wicked alights his wrath.  Delay not your conversion to the LORD, put it not off from day-to-day; For suddenly his wrath flames forth; at the time of vengeance, you will be destroyed.  Rely not upon deceitful wealth, for it will be no help on the day of wrath.” 

— 6 —  psalm-1-3Then We Have:  The first verses of Psalms:

“Blessed the man who follows not the counsel of the wicked, nor walks in the way of sinners, nor sits in the company of the insolent, 

but delights in the law of the LORD and meditates on his law day and night

He is like a tree planted near running water, That yields its fruit in due season, and whose leaves never fade. Whatever he does, prospers.” 

— 7 — st__thomas_aquinas_Finally We Have: This meditation from Saint Thomas Aquinas:

“Merciful God, grant that I may ardently desire what is pleasing to you, prudently seek it, truthfully acknowledge it and perfectly fulfill it to the praise and glory of your name. 

Order my life and grant I may carry out what you wish me to do as is fitting and serviceable to my soul’s salvation. May I come to you, Lord, by a way that is sure, direct, pleasant and ordered to its end; a way that does not wander aimlessly between prosperity and adversity; that I may thank you when things go well and keep patience when they go badly, neither letting myself be raised up by the former nor cast down by the latter. May nothing bring me happiness nor make me sad except those things that either lead to you or draw me away. May I neither desire to please nor fear to displease anyone except you alone. May all passing things become as worthless in my eyes because of you, Lord, and may I hold dear whatever touches you nearly and you yourself, O my God, more than all… May I desire nothing besides you…

O Lord my God, grant me an understanding that knows you, an eagerness that seeks you, a wisdom that finds you, a life that pleases you, a perseverance that waits for you with trust and a trust that holds you fast until the end. Grant me to be afflicted with your sorrows through penance, to make use of your blessings along the way by your grace, and above all to rejoice in your joy through glory in your homeland, O You who, being God, live and reign through all ages.”

God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

The Chase

Every evening when I log onto my blog I check the stats.  I find it fascinating that the same post is always the #1 viewed post for the day.  Every day.  What is that post?  The post is:  Stop Chasing Him

In addition, my site shows me which terms are used when people search and land on my blog.  The searches are always about Chasing.

  • Should I stop pursuing him?
  • Don’t chase him.
  • Stop chasing him.
  • Am I chasing him?
  • Let him pursue you.
  • If I stop chasing him, will he pursue me?
  • If he is not chasing me, what should I do?

Since I have a lot of new followers recently (thank you and welcome!), I wanted to make sure that you new girls have an opportunity to read this post.  It sets a great foundation for everything I write.  Example:

“….Why not chase men?  Because men are awesome, competent and brave and they are perfectly capable of doing the chasing and initiating!!  And, when he is the one, he will chase you.  He will want to chase you!..”

Next week I will get back to our series on Emotional Chastity.  In the meantime, please read or re-read:   Stop Chasing Him

God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 29

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  Is……Emotional Chastity!  Visualize your freedom in Christ!

— 2 —  This Week’s Other Post:  The Very Inspiring Blogger AwardCheck out who inspires me and who I nominated for the Award.  Also, please help me congratulate Amanda  on the publication of her book, Worthy!

— 3 — She Knows:  Did you see this article by Rebecca Frech?  It was a note of encouragement to her teen daughter about chastity.  She provided an excellent perspective on the importance of parents being open to life and how marital chastity is the best witness and support for our children in their goal of living chastely.  Kudos Rebecca!

— 4 — Prison Mass: I loved this!

— 5 —  Spotlight on: This week’s spotlight is on Rachel Allen!  She works for a retreat ministry called the REAP Team, where it is her full-time job to talk about sex, love, dating, and chastity.  Check out this post and follow her on Twitter.  Thank you, Rachel for your important ministry!

— 6 —  Childless on Mother’s Day: This article by MaryBeth Bonacci mirrored how I felt at Mass on Mother’s Day.  I know the priests have the best intentions.  Motherhood today is under attack so our sweet Knights of Columbus men wanted to honor us Moms with a carnation. We stood and were applauded by the rest of the congregation.  It felt uncomfortable to me.  Here we are with the greatest blessing possible (a child) and we were being applauded.  I guess I just want to turn the honor over to our Creator. Maybe as an alternative, they can give carnations to all the females in honor of the feminine genius?  Anyone else feel this way?

— 7 — The Peace of God: Saint Padre Pio de Pietrelcina (1887-1968), Capuchin wrote:

God’s Spirit is a spirit of peace; even after our most serious failings he makes us feel a sorrow that is peaceful, humble and confident, precisely because of his mercy. The spirit of evil, on the other hand, agitates, irritates and makes us feel a sort of anger at ourselves when we have failed. Yet it is very much to ourselves we should be practicing charity in the first place. So, when you are bothered by certain thoughts, the agitation never comes from God but from the devil, since God, being a spirit of peace, brings you serenity.”

God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Emotional Chastity

Freedom in ChristMy post from two weeks ago focused on Fantasy Relationships and how important Emotional Chastity is in preventing these unhealthy relationships.  I think it is very hard to experience the freedom of physical chastity unless we first strive for emotional chastity.

Like physical Chastity, Emotional Chastity is a life-long virtue. The goal of obtaining Emotional Chastity is not to catch a husband.  The goal is to become free of the emotions that lead to a disordered life.

Create Your Own Fiat

How do you free yourself from these disordered emotions?  The best way, to me, is to have complete trust in the goodness and the will of God.  You, like The Virgin Mary, can create your own little fiat, “”Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done to me according to Thy word.”  You can trust Him with your future, your vocation and your needs.  This trust can be so profound that you can confidently live by these words of Sacred Scripture:

“I charge you Daughters of Israel do not awaken or stir up love until it pleases.”

Song of Songs 8:4

The goal is to  remain asleep in His will until it pleases the Lord to awaken you to His plan for your vocation.  This trust frees you from the temptation to “stir up” your emotions.  Trust in the Lord will keep you from placing your attention and affections on the wrong men.  Confidence in His will for your life will protect you from chasing men.

How do you obtain this trust in and obedience to the will of the Lord?  Over the next couple of weeks, I will be presenting some ideas.  Today, I will be focusing on a technique which helped me when I was single. As you will see, I still use this technique.

A Vision Of Yourself

Okay, so the goals of Emotional Chastity are:

  • To be free of any emotion that leads to a disordered life
  • To have an ordered life of virtue and healthy habits, attitudes, behaviors and emotions
  • To trust in the will of the Lord and the goodness of the Lord
  • To remain asleep until He pleases

One way to obtain these goals is to have a vision of yourself with the characteristics and virtues you want to incorporate into your life.  Have you ever tried this?  Some might think it sounds sort of new age-ish. But, what could be the harm? I am not advocating a self-deprecating attitude where you focus on everything that is wrong with you.  Nor am I encouraging you to fill your head with conceded notions about yourself.

Instead, I am advocating that you create a vision of your best self.  Your most free self.  Your most trusting self.  Your most virtuous self.  Your most emotionally balanced self.  Then, once you see this vision, you can start praying for and modeling the required virtues, behaviors, attitudes, habits and disposition.  Your healthy emotions will naturally follow.

An Example

Just today, the Lord put an opportunity in front of me.  I call it ‘opportunity’ but it would be better described as a challenge.  You see, this challenge is going to force me out of my comfort zone.  It is going to stretch me to my limits.  But, I had to say ‘Yes’ to the Lord.  Behold, I am His handmaid after all.

So, as I am freaking out in my head and trying not to hyperventilate about this ‘opportunity’, I started to picture myself with the virtues I am going to need in order to glorify the Lord through this opportunity.  Here is an example of the pep talk I gave to myself (as well as the challenges in parenthesis):

  • I am an open person (not at all)
  • I am a flexible person (ha ha ha ha ha ha)
  • I am a person without shame (sigh, I am so not perfect)
  • I am a generous person (um, not really)

Once I was able to name the needed virtues and create the vision, I knew how to pray for myself.  Also, trusting in the goodness and the will of God will give me confidence that He will help me in these specific areas.  I will be stretched, but I will be fine.  I may even be, dare I say, blessed.

What Is Your Vision?

When I was single, I practiced this visualization technique.  I would create the vision, name the virtue, pray and then trust.  You can do this too.  For example, your goal is to live a chaste life.  What does this look like for you?  Your goal is to be emotionally steady and trust in the Lord.  What does this look like for you?  Your goal is to be the kind of girl who knows her dignity and does not chase men.  What does this look like for you?

Can you see yourself with all these virtues?  What are your daily habits?  What does your posture look like and how do you carry yourself?  How do you respond to various situations?  How do you respond to men?  What do you need to start doing?  What do you need to stop doing?

What Do You Need?

The Lord wants you to be His handmaid.  He wants you to give Him your fiat. He knows all about your disordered emotions. He knows what is keeping you from trusting Him.  Therefore, He will provide what is required in order for you to glorify Him.  Lay this vision of your obedient, trusting self at His feet. Present your needs to Him.  Tell Him you want only to glorify Him.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Philippians 4:6-8

What Else?

Next week I will talk about The Veil and how the concept can help you achieve Emotional Chastity.

God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award!

Very Inspiring Blog AwardA little while back, Amanda from Worthy of Agape nominated me for what I thought was the Liebster Award.  But as I tracked the award back to its origin, it looks like the actual award is not the Liebster Award. Instead, it is the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Thank you, Amanda!

I chose to respond to this award today in honor of Amanda and the release of her new book, Worthy!  (do you like my color scheme?)

I just know her book is going to be amazing. You can purchase her book here  and at Amazon starting today .  Congratulations Amanda!!

Here are the rules of the award:

  1. Link back to the blogger who nominated you.  (check)
  2. Post the award image to your page. (check)
  3. Share 7 facts about yourself — fun things, favorites things, humorous things or things that inspire you. (check)
  4. Nominate up to 15 other blogs and invite them to participate. (I did 7 ~ favorite biblical number)

It is fun to follow-up on the links of the other bloggers nominated and make new blogging friends. Enjoy!

7 things that inspire me:

  1. Large Catholic families:  A witness to the Culture of Death!
  2. People who write books and actually get them published!   Yes, that is you Amanda!
  3. Religious Sisters/Brides of Christ:  Radiant!  A witness to the culture of selfishness!
  4. Catholic Seminarians:  Courageous!  A witness for Christ in the world!
  5. My Mom:  Mental Toughness!  Totally Accepting!  Full of Energy!
  6. Catholic Converts:  I am so convicted by their search for truth!  If I were not raised Catholic, would I have searched for truth and found Him in His Church?  I would like to say yes but…don’t know.  Scary.
  7. Gregg:  Unselfish, Generous and Loving husband!  Amazing and Patient Father!

I nominate the following 7 inspiring Catholic bloggers for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. I know they will inspire you also:

  1. Sarah at Fumbling Toward Grace  :  One word for Sarah:  Perseverance!
  2. Regina at Catholic Alcoholic  :  Regina’s posts are beautiful, raw, honest and courageous!
  3. Kelsey at Answering The Call   :  Kelsey has answered the call….calling our youth to Christ and His Church.  Awesome!
  4. Meg at Held by His Pierced Hands :  Meg is even more awesome in person but check out her blog and follow her in her hobo life for Christ!
  5. Stephanie at Captive the Heart :  Stephanie is inspiring but she is also the sweetest blogger out there!
  6. Stefanie at A Dreamers Wife  : Stefanie somehow makes the rounds and finds time to read our blogs and encourage us in our Dreams!
  7. Colleen at  Martin Family Moments : Colleen is a mom of 5.  She works outside the home.  Her blog posts are always amazing, and interesting and funny and grammatically correct.  I don’t know how she does it.

Congratulations!  May we, by the grace of God, continue to inspire others and glorify our Lord!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 28

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  Is……He Will Rule Over You.  What?  Who will rule over me? Please check out the post and find out!

— 2 —  Our Son’s First Holy Communion: Was on Saturday.  The Mass was perfect and profound and all that we could have hoped for.  We successfully entertained 50 people at our house after the Mass including lots of kids.  He received some amazing gifts. Oh, and the readings were excellent!

  • Acts 2:42-47
  • 1 Corinthians 11:23-26
  • Gospel of John 6:51-58

— 3 — Matt Maher: Have you heard his new song?  It is called:  Lord I Need You

*sorry my site is not allowing me to embed  links so you will have to click on it to go to YouTube

— 4 — Duggar Girls On Dating:  Say whatcha want about the Dugger Family but I think these girls are amazing!  Someone is doing something right. Check them out talking about purity and protecting your heart.  Again, please click on this link

— 5 —  Spotlight onThis week’s spot light is on one of my new blog followers E.G Norton over at Trenchcoatintrospective.comI am so encouraged by these young faith-filled Catholics!  Oh, and did I mention she is a convert I particularly liked this post about Chastity and this post called Waiting for Tobias.  In the first post, she says of her beloved:

“I love him. I haven’t met him yet, but I love him. And I want to be the woman he deserves.”

She concludes the Waiting for Tobias post with this:  “Our time will come, single ladies.”

—6 — Twitter:  I actually like Twitter and have “met” some great people.  I can’t tell if I like it more than Facebook.  What I do not like about Twitter is the time sink.  I just weaned myself off of Facebook during Lent and now I have this other thing waiting to devour my soul.  Ha ha.  A little dramatic, yes.

— 7 — Father Greg Shaffer:  A couple of weeks ago I promised you a photo of the DC Hood basketball team (made up of priests and seminarians).  Here they are! Aren’t they Holy and handsome!

DC Hood

God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

He Will Rule Over You

Last week’s post about Fantasy Relationships seems to have hit home for many of you!  There were a lot of page hits and email responses to this problem that affects so many women. 

I ended that post with a number of questions about why we as women are so vulnerable to Fantasy Relationships and why some men have such an incredible power over us.  And, I concluded with the notion that Emotional Chastity is something we must all strive for.

Next week, I will expand on the importance of Emotional Chastity (what is it? how do you practice and obtain it?).  We will talk about the importance of remaining asleep in the will of God until it pleases Him to awaken you and not “stirring” things up while you wait. (Song of Songs 8:4)

But before we can practice and obtain emotional chastity, I think it is necessary to understand the “Why?” behind our emotions and desires.  Why are we so vulnerable to fantasy relationships, why are we tempted to chase men and why do we pin our hopes on Mr. Wrong and Mr. Almost Right?  Why do we find it so hard to remain asleep until the Lord pleases?

Original Sin

I hear you scoffing at the old fashion notion of Original Sin but please hear me out.  Once I made the connection between The Fall of Mankind and my feelings, emotions, desires and weaknesses, it all began to make sense, especially these words of Sacred Scripture:

Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you” Genesis 3:16

Your Desire Will Be For Your Husband

Seems like a simple little statement, right? And, it actually sounds like a good thing.  But, the statement is found in the chapter of Genesis following the sin of Adam and Eve. The statement describes the consequence of Original Sin for us women.  Remember, the sin of our first parents profoundly and negatively affected their relationship and this Original Sin continues to negatively affect our relationships with men and ourselves. 

So, what could the statement, “…Your desire shall be for your husband…” possibly mean? What is the consequence for us women? I think the consequence is that the process of waiting for our husbands will be marked by great desire and suffering.  Just like in the Song of Songs, it will be a gut-wrenching experience of waiting, hoping and longing for our beloved.  Something our first mother, Eve, did not experience before The Fall.  Nor did our Blessed Mother, Mary who was conceived without sin, experience it.  But, we do.

He Will Rule Over You

Now, how about the second part of the consequence, “…he will rule over you.”?  Who will rule over you?  I think the desire for our husband and the thought of being with him rules over us during the wait.  This contributes to Fantasy Relationships, temptations to chase men and take control of our future. We are in a state of longing and anticipation.  This condition of desire and longing can, if not controlled, rule over us, our emotions, our actions and our thought life. 

Theology of the Body

Have you read it?  Do you know what it is? As Pope, Blessed John Paul II dedicated his first major teaching project to sexuality and the dignity of the human person. He called the project Theology of the Body (TOB) and delivered it in 129 short talks in Rome during his Wednesday audiences between 1979 and 1984.  

Blessed Pope John Paul II had a brilliant mind and therefore much of TOB goes over my poor little head.  But, there are some things that just jump out at me such as this concept of The Fall impacting our relationship with ourselves and the opposite sex and that there is hope for overcoming the effects of Original Sin.  

Taste The Freedom 

Here are some of the words from Blessed Pope John Paul II’s TOB which jump out at me:

“…..Whoever allows these words to act in his heart will hear an “echo” of God’s original plan for sexuality. He will taste the freedom that he lost and long for its restoration. He will feel in the depths of his heart the tragedy of sin and cry out in repentance, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, Christ will save him….”

I am convinced that we hear this echo of God’s original plan and that we long for the restoration and taste of the freedom it gives.  And, that we feel this loss and longing in the depths of our hearts. 

The Heart: A Battlefield Between Love and Lust

During his Wednesday talk on July 23, 1980, Pope John Paul II addressed the heart and how it is a battlefield between love and lust.  Now, it is easy to think of lust being only an issue for men, right? But I wonder if this desire for our husbands while we wait, if left uncontrolled, can become a form of lust?  If we do not have our emotions and thought life in check, we are just as vulnerable as men to lust, although maybe in a different form.  Men may experience physical lust but we women can experience emotional lust.

What is lust?  It means “to use” and to treat a person like an object. The human person is a body and a soul.  The Nuptial meaning of the body is the gift of the whole person, both body and soul.  The human person, the gift, cannot be separated.  When we pin our emotions on a man who is not our beloved, we are experiencing lust because that person has not been given to us as a gift.  Therefore, we are, in a sense, using them.

There is nothing wrong with youYou Are Not Crazy

Hopefully, this profound insight into your thoughts and emotions has encouraged you rather than discourage you!  You are not crazy.  This desire for your husband and this feeling that you are being yanked around like an emotional wind sock is normal.

But, I am not giving you a free pass to continue with your thoughts and emotions unchecked.  We are not supposed to be subject to our unruly passions.

You see, what I have described is the disordered part of our nature.  Chastity, both physical and emotional, is a call into order our emotions, habits and desires.  How do we do this?  Remember last week I gave you the 3 Date Rule?

“…Do not even consider a guy or allow him to occupy your heart or thoughts until he has taken you on 3 dates.  3 real dates where he pays and impresses you…”

Well, that is only the beginning.  There is so much more to Emotional Chastity and I will share with you my recommendations for obtaining it next week!  Hint:  It is about the freedom offered by Jesus Christ and the power of His grace! In the meantime, you remain in my prayers.

God love and bless you!

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7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 27

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  It is about the all-too-common problem of Fantasy Relationships.  May you be blessed!

— 2 —  Our Son’s First Holy Communion:  Is tomorrow!  We have invited over 70 people to our house to celebrate. Yay and Yikes! We are only expecting about half to join us but our goal was to make this a big deal…..because it is!  I was planning on keeping it low-key but Gregg was like “Oh, we need to celebrate big time and invite our family, friends, neighbors and co-workers!”  Gregg is so awesome.  Some of the folks we invited are fallen away Catholics so I am excited to see the Lord work through the celebration of such an important Sacrament.  Come Home everyone!  Jesus is waiting for you at Mass where Heaven meets Earth!

— 3 —  My Lord:  As we were driving home yesterday, our son said, “Two more days and I get to receive my Lord!”  He is so excited about his First Holy Communion.  That little sentence made his entire tuition to Catholic schools worth every penny.

— 4 —  Where Heaven Meets Earth: Restoring the Sacred:  Did you watch this special on EWTN this week?? Wow!  The Sacred Mass is a glimpse of Heaven and we should treat it as such.  Go give Father Cook and the folks at Story Tell Foundation some love!  Here is a teaser:

“A Glimpse of Heaven”

Father Cook quickly set out on a mission to restore the sacred at St. Peters. He began celebrating parts of the mass in Latin, which he included in both Spanish and English masses. In all that he did, he sought to reestablish the mystery, awe and wonder of God, and did so by bringing reverence and sacred music to the ceremonies, traditions and liturgy of the Catholic Faith both in the sanctuary and in the community as well. So the masses, the sacred music, and traditions like the Corpus Christi procession demonstrate what the Cook is trying to do is to give people, in his own words, “A glimpse of heaven.”

— 5 —  Spotlight on: This week the spotlight is on Anthony from the Evangelical to Catholic blog.  First, Anthony is a wonderful guy and in this article he shares the story of his conversion to Catholicism.  But, but, but!  He also shares a little bit about his courtship with is soon-to-be-wife (June 1st), Jackie.  I invited Anthony and Jackie to do a guest post and I pray that they do (once they are settled into married life, of course.)  In the meantime, go, go go read his post!  I think their story is such an inspiration for single folks.

—6 —  CCD Teacher Moment:  Gregg and I were shopping in a new grocery store last week and an employee walked up to me and said, “Hey, you used to teach me CCD!”  Turns out this young man (now 23 years old) was a student in my 7th Grade CCD class about 11 years ago.  He was sort of a troubled kid (he admitted this) and had even been in jail as an adult. But, he was so happy to see me!

So, you know me, I said, “So, how is your relationship with the Lord?”  He said it was ‘just alright.’ Then, I said, “Are you living a Sacramental life?’  He isn’t.  But, he wanted to talk to Gregg and me about the Lord and getting back to Mass!  And, going to Confession!! He was searching and hungry.  He asked us to bring him books and he felt really inspired to get on the right path.  He has little children (not married) and I think he realizes his need for God and a life of Grace.

This was a very moving and emotional moment for me.  I taught for about 10 years (about 200 students) and virtually all of them are now adults.  I often wonder how they are all doing.  Do they love the Lord and are the living a Sacramental life? Do they remember what I taught them about Chastity? Even though this young man was (admittedly) away from God, it proved to me that God chases all of us.  What a privilege for me to plant seeds in the lives of all those children. Praise Him!

— 7 — Liebster Award:  Sweet Amanda from the Worthy of Agape blog nominated me for the Liebster Award.  I was nominated by another blogger a couple of months ago and was surprised to be nominated again.  My plan is post the response to my Liebster Award nomination on May 14th.  Why May 14th you ask?  Well, that is the day Amanda’s book, Worthy, will be published and available.  If you cannot wait until May 14th, you can pre-order your copy.  Thank you, Amanda! Please go congratulate her and give her a big hug!

God love and bless you!

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