7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 44

— 1 —   This Week’s Post: Dear Sweet Frustrated Friend ~ I responded to the Frustration post from last week.  I pray that my response brings peace and hope!

— 2 —   Britt’s Guest Post:  Britt from Proverbial Girlfriend will be providing a guest post next week. It’s a good one! Look for it on September 2nd!  Thank you, Britt!!

  3 — No Alone Series:  This week the girls shared some fun things about themselves.  I really enjoyed reading about each of the contributors and getting to know them better!  They shared stories about how their parents met and listed the qualities they are looking for in a husband.  To me, the most important qualities were captured by Danielle and Morgan.  Danielle said that she is looking for a humble husband.  Yes, yes, yes!  I could do a whole post on this but will just offer that marriage to Gregg is easy due to his humility.  Morgan said that she is looking for a ‘kind and affectionate’ husband.  Wise girl, she is.  I cannot imagine being in a marriage without affection.  I know there are marriages where the man is ‘not affectionate’ but that just would not work for me.  Anyway, great job to all the girls!

— 4 —  Our Family:  Our son, who is in 3rd grade, had to write about our family in his school journal.  This is what he wrote:

“…A little over-protective but they are very nice.  My Dad likes computers games and we both like football a lot!  Our favorite team is the Chiefs.  My Mom is very nice.  She is the best cook I know.  I love her very much.  So that is my family.  The end.”

Gregg and I had tears in our eyes we were laughing so hard.  Especially being a ‘little over-protective.”  Hey, it’s the love that makes us that way!  Our son was delighted at how much we loved it.  Oh, and my cooking is not that great but I am the best cook….that he knows.  Anyway, he also sketched us doing computer stuff and cooking. 🙂

— 5 —  St. Monica:  Feast Day August 27th.  I always tell young people that no one can break your heart like your child.  St. Monica, pray for us!

— 6 —   St. Augustine:  Feast Day August 28th.  Gregg and I went to Mass on Wednesday, the feast day of St. Augustine, to pray fo all the people who are suffering and in need of God’s mercy.  St. Augustine gives us all hope.  St. Augustine, pray for us!

 — 7 — St. John the Baptist:  Feast Day August 29th. This week was my favorite due to the feast days of all these great Saints.  Wow, when I see the head of St. John the Baptist on that platter!  I just shiver at the thought. 

Nothing New ~ Adultery.  People want what they want and they do not like others telling them that they must Repent.  Let us never forget this steadfast Saint.  St. John the Baptist, pray for us!


St. John The Baptist, pray for us!

God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Dear Sweet Frustrated Friend

Dear Sweet Frustrated Friend, 

After posting your Dear Future Husband” Letter last week, it is obvious from the comments and support from other single girls that you are not alone in your frustration. With all that support and cyber love, you might be feeling slightly less frustrated but it is understandable if you still feel alone.   

I am not sure there is anything I can say to ease your suffering. Yes, I believe you are suffering because to be without something we are made for is a suffering.

Could marriage actually be a need?   

I used to feel guilty about my pain and hurt over not being married.  I wasn’t sure I had it in proper perspective given all the suffering going on in the world.  Was my singleness a suffering? Was marriage something I needed or just something I wanted?  If it was just a want, was I justified in my pain over not having it?  The Lord is my Shepherd, after all, and I shall not want, right?

Then someone asked me why I felt guilty for wanting to be married?  They said, “Of course your feelings of hurt are justified.  You don’t have to feel guilty for wanting something you were made for as a woman.”

 Made For Marriage? 

Some folks may read this blog and think that I put too high of a value on marriage to the point of relegating it to the supernatural level.  But, when I read The Catechism, I see that Spousal Love is something we were made for: 

“….The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator….” 

“…Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: “It is not good that the man should be alone…”

Our bodies cry out for Spousal Love.  In this post, I wrote:

“….I am not a theologian but from a Catholic perspective we know that our bodies are made to glorify God. The purpose of marriage and of our fertility is to glorify God. Not being able to fulfill this purpose is, I think, a special kind of suffering.

The shape, form and intricate design of our bodies reveal this strong link to our fertility and femininity. Our bodies are oriented toward marital love…. to bonding and babies.  I could be wrong but I think that God weeps over delayed and missed marriage vocations in a unique way. I feel confident that the plight of the single person is not hidden from Him nor has their cause passed out of His notice…”

Even though we are made for marriage, it is written into our very nature and our bodies cry out for Spousal Love, there is, unfortunately a real possibility that some will have to live with this need unmet.  This is why I believe that delayed marriages and missed marriages are a suffering.


As you know, the enemy will whisper to you that God is stingy and that God is not in control.  The enemy will try to convince you to take your vocation into your own hands and make it happen at any cost.  Even the cost of your soul.  You will be tempted to compromise and accept lame offers from guys.  You will be tempted to chase guys. 

It sounds like you are already walking with God and waiting on Him to act on your behalf.  You are doing your part.  The challenge will be to not give in to despair.

What Do I Recommend?

1.  Recognize and accept that you have an unmet need

2.  Be honest with God about your feelings.  He can take it.

3.  Continue to Immerse yourself in the Sacraments (the fount of Grace) and in Sacred Scripture

4.  Find your mission outside of your career (unless your career includes this mission)

5.  Realize that God is our only Hope

Your Future Husband

I know you are frustrated that he has not found you yet.  But, have you considered that he is suffering too and in need of healing?   That he would love to hold you and share his day with you?  That he wants nothing more than to find you and hold those babies you are hoping for?

Pray for him that he will not give in to despair and that his body and soul will be protected from porn and fornication.  He needs your prayers now as much as he will need them when you are married.

Today is the feast day of St. Monica.  Your future husband may be away from the Lord and, similar to St. Augustine, greatly in need of prayer.  Your prayers for him and an offering of your sufferings for him are a powerful combination.

Be Ready

 “….I think this letter is written to a ghost, and it’s a real shame because I’ve been working on myself for you.  I’ve been trying to turn my vices into virtues, take my faults and reform them into blessings, and make my areas of weakness stronger.  For what?  Apparently for nothing, and that really peeves me….”  

I think what you wrote above is understandable.  It is easy to wonder if it is all for nothing. You and I have chatted this week about all the things you are doing to grow closer to the Lord and turn your vices into virtues.  It reminded me of the parable of the 10 Virgins and the Lamp Oil and how it applies to our singleness.  We must always be ready.  In a New York minute, everything can change.

I know you are having trouble believing your husband exists.  I cannot tell you if he does or not.  If he doesn’t then, the 5 recommendations above are critical to fighting off despair. The Lord will provide the much-needed grace proper to heal your suffering.  If your husband does exist, then, it is a matter of waiting…………patiently……..for the Lord to act.  He is our only Hope.

Recommended Posts:

I went back and found the following posts which I hope will provide encouragement and support:

Dear God, What Do You want from me?


There Is No Formula

Do Men Need Help?

He Will Rule Over You

Fantasy Relationships

I Knew

He Is Not The One

Merge Your Body And Soul

Myth # 3:  There Is Something Wrong With Me

God love and bless you, my sweet friend.  Cindy

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7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 43

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  Wow, thank you to everyone who commented and provided support in response to the Frustration post! You girls are amazing!  I plan to post my response to our Sweet Frustrated Friend next week.

— 2 —   Girl Friends:  It was wonderful to see you girls wrap your cyber arms around her and share your own feelings of frustration.  It seems that a support group might be forming where you girls can remain anonymous yet share your struggles in a closed, non-public forum.  I will be happy to pass on any information that comes my way.

 — 3 — Britt’s Guest Post:  Britt from Proverbial Girlfriend sent her guest post to me this week and I am so excited to share it with you.  As usual, Britt imparts wisdom and gives us some truths to chew on.  Look for it the week of September 3rd!  Thank you, Britt!!

— 4 — Spotlight On:  This week’s spotlight is on Laura from Catholic Cravings for her post called Me and Ununiformity with God’s Will. 

“My job isn’t to be successful. It isn’t to lead an impressive life of holiness. It certainly isn’t to wait until optimal conditions arrive, or even to try optimise those conditions.

No, my task is to do the most unglamorous thing imaginable: God’s will for me. Right here, right now, right away. Fortunately, it might be unglamorous but it is also the most glorious thing imaginable. Because there is no greater privilege than to say with Christ, His Mother, and all His angels and saints, “Lord, thy will be done.” 

— 5 —  Reblog Excitement:  It is an honor for me to share with you that the Living in Faith Together L.I.F.T blog reblogged Morgan’s guest post this week!  The funny part (to me and Gregg) is that L.I.F.T has reblogged Morgan’s post and this post.  Neither post was written by me…..both were guest postsSo, praise God for guest posts!!

— 6 —  Audrey Assad:  She reminded us last night on Twitter to pray for Syria. Of course, the suffering of Egypt has been on our hearts too.  Lord have mercy. 

           We are loving her new album which she says is humbly offered as gifts to her fellow Catholics.  Indeed, she is a much-needed gift given to us at a critical time. 

 — 7 — More Reasons To Love Gregg:  He is always building and flying stuff.  He is good at and enjoys following instructions with the most minute details (this would drive me absolutely bananas). He can fix any computer.  He will make any party fun.  However, I was speechless when he and our son showed me his latest project: 

God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!


Frustration photo

I was supposed to share with you my Free Will post today.  I have been working on that post over the last couple of weeks but have not been satisfied with it.  Sometimes the Lord will divert us from our plans by providing a better plan.  I think He did that over the weekend.

When I woke up early Saturday morning, I found an email from a girl who keenly captured the frustration she is feeling while waiting for her spouse.  I get a number of emails…. but this one really captured my emotions.

The author is a blogger who wants to remain anonymous.  She wrote a candid letter to her future husband.  It is raw and filled with frustration.  A level of frustration that I think we can all relate to.

The significance of the topic of this post is not lost on me as today is the one year anniversary of The Veil of Chastity blog.  The purpose of the blog is to share the wisdom and power of Chastity.  But it is also to offer support to those of you who are feeling frustrated and reassure you that others have walked this difficult path.  We have not forgotten.

I have already responded to the author and received permission to post her letter.  Next week, I will share with you my response to her.

In the meantime, please see her questions below.  She is wondering if she is alone in her perspective and frustration.  Comments to her and encouragement for her are welcomed.

God love and bless you all, Cindy


Her Questions: Do you think there’s value in this perspective?  Do you think that other girls might feel like this and don’t think the single life is so glamorous all the time, but are afraid of saying it?

 Letters to My Future Husband

So today I was having a ‘spot of tea’ with my friend discussing life, the future, the past, living in the moment, World Youth Day, her gorgeous children, the problems with the Church, the things that make us want to punch people in the face, etc…  We got to talking about my future spouse and the frustrations in waiting for him – which if you know me in real life or read my blog you don’t even need to imagine the extent of that in my life.  And if this is your first time, well, welcome to the inner workings of my brain, you’re in for a real trip.

I have been reading (not participating) in this Not Alone Series over the past 8 or 10 weeks in combination with maybe a hundred or so blog posts I’ve read in the past regarding the single life, hope, waiting, not waiting, the joy, the agony (well, not many people write about the agony, but anyway), etc…  And I’ve heard a hundred times (and I’m certain you have to, if you live in America and have ever seen a religious blog post about the single life) about writing letters to Your Future Spouse before you meet them.

Confession time, I’ve done it – but it’s always awkward.  I mean what do you say?  

 I’ve loved you since I was 15 and started praying for you.

I think I met you today. (and then a week later, well that wasn’t you)

We had our first date. (but there wasn’t a second)

Seriously?  That’s all crap – although I do pray for him – if he even exists, who wants 15 years of pathetic letters that all say the same thing, “I’m praying for you, and I miss you.”  When what I really want to write is:

Where the hell have you been?  I’ve been waiting over here for a while now.  I’m trying to be as patient as possible, but I’m getting a little upset.


 What are you up to this weekend?  I really hope you’re not out gallivanting with some random girl who won’t matter to you tomorrow, or for that matter, who won’t care for you past a few weeks.


What are you doing that is more important than hanging out with me?  I mean, if someday I’m going to be the love of your life, why aren’t you seeking me more earnestly?  You really make me want to punch you in the face!


I really could have used you today.  I had a hard time at work, I began to question my true purpose in life, and basically, the entire world blamed me for their problems.  I needed a shoulder to cry on when I got home and a pillow just wasn’t cutting it this time.  I could have used a hug from you.  I needed you and you weren’t there.


I’m disappointed that it’s taking more than 28 years for our paths to cross, are you seriously that bad at asking for directions?  Should I be praying you find a GPS or lose some of your pride and just ask for help?


Seriously, is there any courage inside of that chest of yours?  Are you not asking me out because I look ‘scary’ or because maybe I’ll say no?  Be a man!  Stand up and fight for something – fight for me!  All of this beating around the bush is not very attractive.  Know what you want and go after it – it just takes a little courage!  You know, I would have said yes, if you would have asked!


Today I met these little twins.  They are the cutest thing you’ve ever seen and have the best parents in the world, but I wish I was holding our baby.  I hate that you and I don’t have a baby together, that we aren’t sharing our love with the world.


I’m losing hope that you are out there.  I believe in a God who can do anything.  Anything is possible.  If he wants to put me on the moon to live for the rest of my life, He can.  But he won’t – that’s not probable or practical.  And I believe He can bring us together because He’s God and He can do anything, I’m just doubting that He actually will.  It’s easier for me to believe that Jesus Christ was both fully human and fully divine than it is to believe that you exist, that you will love me, and that you even want to love me for the rest of my life.  I think this letter is written to a ghost, and it’s a real shame because I’ve been working on myself for you.  I’ve been trying to turn my vices into virtues, take my faults and reform them into blessings, and make my areas of weakness stronger.  For what?  Apparently for nothing, and that really peeves me.  

But I can’t write those things – I mean, the ‘writing letters to your future husband’ movement is all about writing him this journal and then giving it to him as a testament of your love when you’re engaged, married, or sometime later in life.  Then he’s all like, “She’s always loved me.  I know that God has meant for us to be together for all of eternity.”  BLAH- writing that down makes me a little sick, to be perfectly honest.  

 Yes, I have always loved you – in a very abstract way, in the I want to be with one man for the rest of my life and I can’t wait until I meet you.  I also believe that The Lord has a plan, He has to.  I mean, look at the world – this did not just happen to end up like this.  There is a greater being at work.  I also think that God has a plan for us – he has work for me to do.  I just don’t really  know what the work is most of the time.  Maybe it’s raising children, maybe it’s not.

But what would my new husband say if I handed him a book of letters that were more like the other ones.  Basically where the hell have you been all of these years?  And I’m waiting for an answer!  They just sound pathetic and angry, and I’m really not either of those things.  Frustrated with the world maybe, but not pathetic and angry.  I just hate the process is all.  I hate the waiting game.  I can’t stand needing to have patience.  

Those letters are a book full of disappointments.  I’m disappointed that I haven’t been able to share these moments with you because I have such a desire to know you and be with you.  I mean, what do you do with a book that is filled with these notes?  Does he say, “I’m sorry.  I didn’t know I was hurting you.”  Then, we move on from there.  Or does he have a book filled with the same kind of letters?  Am I as much of a point of frustration and disappointment to him as he is to me right now?

I really have no idea, I mean, I haven’t done this before.  I don’t know the man who will be my future husband – or maybe I do, but we aren’t dating right now.  Maybe this is just the swift kick in the pants he needs to muster up some courage and ask.  Maybe he is just a figment of my imagination and the Lord wants something different from me. Maybe I need to move before we can meet.  Maybe he needs to.  Maybe a million other things…

I’m just so tired of the ‘maybes’ and the ‘what ifs’ and the rest of it all.  

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 42

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  Envy and Singlehood ~  A Guest Post by Britt  Thank you, Britt!

— 2 —   Next Week’s Post:  I have been so spoiled by my wonderful Guest Bloggers!  Now it is time for me to pick up where I left off earlier this month.  We started this series with There Is No Formula, then Endless Circles and then Hope.  Next week’s post will be about Free Will!  If there is no formula, how do faith, hope and our free will work together? Look for the post on Tuesday, August 20th which marks the one year anniversary of The Veil of Chastity blog!  Appropriately started on the feast day of St. Bernard of Clairvaux!

 — 3 — Note Alone SeriesThis week the girls accepted a variety of challenges!  Laura from Catholic Cravings wrote about fear and how it can result in us acting like we are not worthy of love.  Then, she goes on to challenge herself with some great “What if?” questions:

“Because of that fear, I act in a certain way.

But what if, just for a change, I started acting like it wasn’t true? What if, instead, my challenge was to live like some wonderful guy was about to ask me out? What if I was to act like, just for argument’s sake, that I was deserving of love and that God did not put a desire for marriage and family in my heart only to thwart it?”

— 4 — What If?:  When I read Laura’s post, it reminded me of my Emotional Chastity post where I asked “What if you visualize yourself with the virtues you desire?”

“….I am advocating that you create a vision of your best self.  Your most free self.  Your most trusting self.  Your most virtuous self.  Your most emotionally balanced self.  Then, once you see this vision, you can start praying for and modeling the required virtues, behaviors, attitudes, habits and disposition.  Your healthy emotions will naturally follow.

— 5 —  Update On My Challenge:  In the Emotional Chastity post I shared that the Lord had presented me with an ‘opportunity.’  If you recall, I was experiencing fear and concern because I was going to be stretched beyond my comfort zone.  But, I practiced the visualization technique and prayed for the virtues I would need to glorify the Lord through this challenge/opportunity.  I even predicted that I may be blessed by this opportunity. I am happy to report that I was extremely blessed!  For almost 3 months, Gregg and I looked at each other and said “Aren’t you glad we said ‘yes’ to God?”  Our simple ‘yes’ returned to us a hundred fold!

— 6 —  Yes:  Speaking of saying ‘yes’ to God, I have to share with you the meditation from The Word Among Us from yesterday’s Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary:

“…So rejoice today with the Virgin Mary! Your yeses may not change the course of human history (or maybe they will), but they all have a ripple effect on the world around you. Just as a mustard seed of faith can move mountains, even the smallest of yeses can change the way other people see God. Nothing is too small for Him to use. All God wants is our agreement. He can work with anything, even the most begrudging of yeses, and transform it into something beautiful, radiant, and life-giving. It may seem like a ripple to you, but when you give it to the Lord, he turns it into a mighty wave of grace!”

Assumption of Mary

 — 7 — Presenting Herself Veiled:  I noticed a friend’s daughter at Mass last Friday was wearing a veil.  She is nine years old.  I was struck by the beauty and the innocence of her desire to veil.  Yes, this was her decision.  Her very own Fiat! She told her Mom (see the full story below in the comments section!!):

“The Lord asked me to wear a veil when I present myself in front of Him.”

Presenting Herself Veiled

Presenting Herself Veiled ~ Isn’t she beautiful!

 God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Envy and Singlehood ~ A Guest Post by Britt

Have you been following the Not Alone Series hosted by Jen and Morgan?  I seriously look forward to the contributor’s posts each week and when a specific post strikes me, I often spotlight it on my 7 Quick Takes.  But, the post I am featuring today by Britt merited more than just a 7 Quick Takes spotlight.  I asked Britt if I could reblog her Envy and Singlehood post and she graciously agreed.

You may have noticed that I have put the spotlight on Britt a number of times in my 7 Quick Takes.  What is interesting is that Britt and I sometimes differ in our view of things.  For example, I believe that God is intimately involved in our vocation and that He is involved in the details.  And, I believe that as long as we remain in His will, He will lead us to our Holy Spouse. Britt, on the other hand, has several post debunking the “soul mate” concept.  Check out her insightful posts on Soul Mates here and here.

When I read her posts and when they conflict with my own take on things, I never say to myself, “She is so wrong.”  Nope, instead I say, “Wow, very interesting!  Yep, that could be true.”

So, I am featuring Britt here for several reasons.  First, this Envy and Singlehood post is spot on.  Paragraph five made me quite teary when I read it.  Especially the last line. It describes perfectly what I want to convey to you girls.  You are longing for something good.  Do not feel guilty about it. Oh, and don’t forget to click on the very soulful song by Fort Atlantic.

The second reason I am featuring Britt is because she is an excellent writer. What is interesting is that my opinion about her writing style and ability was formed before I discovered that she really is an author!  Check out her books here

Isn’t our Catholic cyber community beautiful?  I would love for you to consider Britt as a resource.  She often reveals the other side of the same coin.  This is healthy because our Catholic faith is a deep mystery.  While you are over at her blog, Proverbial Girlfriend, go ahead and sign up to receive her latest posts.

Thank you, Britt, for allowing me to share your Envy and Singlehood post! 


NAS: Envy and Singlehood

not alone5

Please join Jen, Morgan, and the rest for more insights!

This week’s topic of envy comes at just the right time for me. Sunday night, at a time when I should have been readying for bed and the early wake-up to drive into work, I instead wandered onto my Facebook feed. An acquaintance of mine posted about how [Conspicuously Male Name] made her dinner, did the washing up, watched Gilmore Girls with her, and even prepared her snacks for the week. My thoughts were 1) When did she get a boyfriend? 2) Who is this guy? 3) Do I really want to know that she met him through one of the groups—the groups I left (for good reasons) and maybe should join up again because it appears to be the boyfriendàfianceàhusband store?

Continue reading Here

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 41

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  Hope  Even Mr. Darcy found itVirtue in women changes Men!

— 2 —   Awesome Guest Post:  Keep an eye out for a guest post on Monday, August 12th featuring Britt from Proverbial Girlfriend!

 — 3 —  Twitter:  It’s official.  I like Twitter more than Facebook.  Twitter has this matchmaking service where it sends you the Twitter accounts of those whom you might be interested in following.  It’s networking feature is supremely better than Facebook.  This week, Steven Ertelt began to follow little old me.  Who is Steven you ask?  He is the courageous founder of LifeNews.com!  He is big time and I am little itty bitty time.  Quite an honor!

— 4 — Artificial Means Makes It Shallow:  This explains a lot:

 “….We must recognize once again that those who cut themselves off absolutely from the natural results of conjugal intercourse ruin the spontaneity and depth of their experiences, especially if artificial means are used to this end….” 

Blessed Pope John Paul II (pg 69 in Love and Responsibility)

— 5 —  Feast of the Transfiguration of our Lord:  I loved this reading from the Book of Daniel.  Daniel refers to God as the Ancient One.

 “As I watched : Thrones were set up and the Ancient One took his throne. His clothing was bright as snow, and the hair on his head as white as wool ; His throne was flames of fire, with wheels of burning fire.
A surging stream of fire flowed out from where he sat; Thousands upon thousands were ministering to him, and myriads upon myriads attended him. The court was convened, and the books were opened.
 As the visions during the night continued, I saw One like a son of man coming, on the clouds of heaven; When he reached the Ancient One and was presented before him, He received dominion, glory, and kingship; nations and peoples of every language serve him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that shall not be taken away, his kingship shall not be destroyed.”

Book of Daniel 7:9-10.13-14

— 6 — Spotlight On: This week’s spotlight is on Laura from Life is Beautiful.  She just returned from Haiti and this post describes her experience and the impression the mission trip left upon her.

“And our nation. It’s full, so full. Of stuff. Too much stuff. We can’t see through it all.

The Haitians. Their stomachs are empty. Their homes are empty.

Their eyes are full. Sometimes of pain. Sometimes of joy.

Their churches are full.”

 — 7 — Healthy Conviction:  So…..after I read Laura’s post about her trip to Haiti I told Gregg that I think we should spend our family vacation next year on a mission trip.  He looked at me like I was crazy because I am the type that complains if I forget my straight iron. Or, if our house rises above 75 degrees.  You get the picture.  But, the part in her post about having too much stuff really convicted me.  Yet in a good way.  What would I be like after such an experience?  I can see my future detached and compassionate self and I want to be that girl.  I want my heart to break for what breaks His.

 God love and bless you!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!


“It taught me to hope as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before.” – Mr. Darcy

Yes, yes, I know that Mr. Darcy was horrible at the beginning of Pride and Prejudice.  I also know that many girls watch the movie and think “I can change my awful boyfriend! Just look at how Mr. Darcy changed!” 

Although I will be the first to admit that we cannot always rely on someone to change, I still think that the change in Mr. Darcy is worth examining.  I think it reveals that his attitude and actions are a result of his past wounds and how Elizabeth played a role in bringing about healing in Mr. Darcy.

Mr. Darcy Wounded?

Mr. Darcy’s future was laid out for him as a child.  Lady Catherine de Bourgh tells Elizabeth Bennet that she and Mrs. Darcy planned their children’s betrothal from the time they were infants.  He did not love Lady Catherine’s daughter yet he had this pesky family obligation.  This left him without hope. 

In addition, Mr. Darcy was surrounded by women who left him with little hope of finding a rational creature among them.  First, there was Mr. Bingley’s catty sisters, one of whom, Caroline, made no secret of her designs on him.  He had to rescue his own sister, Georgiana, after she almost stumbled into the dangerous hands of Mr. George Wickham.  And, then there were the Bennet women (Mrs. Bennet, Lydia Bennet) who were only after money, social status and security!  These controlling, catty and conniving women left him cynical, bitter and without hope.  Everyone has a wound and I believe this was his.

Mr. Darcy’s Hope

Mr. Darcy’s background led him to project this wound on all women in the form of cynicism and rejection.  However, Elizabeth was different from these other women.  Oh yes, she had her own wounds which left her a little cynical about her own future vocation.  Yet, although wounded and with little hope for happiness, she kept her dignity about her.  She did not fall for Mr. Darcy while he was in his ‘funk’ nor did she attempt to change him.  Instead, her character and virtue, as well as her accurate response to him, woke him from his selfishness, pride and hopelessness. Her reproof humbled him:

“Your reproof I shall never forget. ‘Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner.’ Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me. …. You thought me then devoid of every proper feeling, I am sure you did. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget, as you said that I could not have addressed you in any possible way that would induce you to accept me.”  Mr. Darcy

The discovery of her character and the integrity of her opinion inspired him to break free of the trap laid before him with Miss de Bourgh. It gave him a spring in his step and a determination to ‘conquer‘ every obstacle.  It taught him that it was possible for a woman to conduct herself with dignity.  It inspired him to have faith that there was a woman in the world capable of not selling out for money and social status.  And, that not all women are manipulative and shallow.  It taught him to hope as he had never allowed himself to hope before.

The Modern Mr. Darcy

I believe many of you are dealing with Modern Day Mr. Darcy’s.  I believe the hook-up, pornography and divorce culture has wounded men too.  I believe it has left them without hope and unable to trust.  And, this leaves them cynical, bitter and selfish.  They are locked up within themselves similar to Mr. Darcy.

You see, I believe that all men want to be inspired out of this cynicism.  And, I believe that virtue is what inspires them. Virtuous women change men. 

Mr Darcy The Look

The Look

Your Influence

Some of you may respond to that last sentence with offense.  Am I blaming you for men’s behavior? No.  Instead, I am sharing my observation about how men need to be inspired and how women have the power to do it. 

Free Will

Some may conclude that men’s behavior and attitudes are a result of their own free will.  I would agree.  The key is in understanding that we have the power to influence other’s free will. And, with men, this influence requires us women to do very little…..other than to not compromise on our standards.

And that is where we will pick up the conversation next time.  God love and bless you!

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7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 40

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  The Wisdom of Chastity ~ A Guest Post by Morgan  Thank you, Morgan!  I have really enjoyed these guest posts and look forward to getting back into blogging.  Remember where we left off?  Yes, let’s pick things up there next week!

— 2 —  Cardinal Francis George: Oh my goodness, he is amazing!  Check out this article where he responds to criticism from “Catholic” politicians who don’t like the fact that he defunded a pro-gay marriage group.  The best line?

“Jesus is merciful, but he is not stupid”   Cardinal Francis George  

 — 3 —  Moses and The Veil:  The readings at Mass this week were interesting! Did you notice that Moses had a Veil??

When he finished speaking with them, he put a veil over his face.
Whenever Moses entered the presence of the LORD to converse with him, he removed the veil until he came out again. On coming out, he would tell the Israelites all that had been commanded.
Then the Israelites would see that the skin of Moses’ face was radiant; so he would again put the veil over his face until he went in to converse with the LORD.” Book of Exodus 34:29-35

— 4 — How To Talk To Your Daughter About Her Body:  This was good. 

— 5 —  When He Breaks Up With You:  This advice from Maura at Made In His Image was spot on: 

1. Don’t text him. Let’s be real, we have all been there. It’s late at night, you’re feeling lonely or sad and you want to talk to him, so you text him. Don’t do it! Resist the urge and call one of your girlfriends instead. Clinging to false emotional attachment is not healthy. Sure, you miss him and that’s okay, but don’t text him, as it will only prolong the inevitable.

— 6 — Spotlight On: This week’s spotlight is on Raquel from Story of a Rose for her post in the Not Alone Series.  This week’s topic was Resources for Catholic Women.  Raquel pulled together a fantastic list of resources.  Great job, Raquel! Oh, and go check out her gorgeous baby girl!   

 — 7 — Connect the Dots: This article discusses the link between pornography and sex trafficking.  I would like to take it two steps further.  It all begins with contraception.

 Contraception -> Abortion -> Pornography ->  Sex Trafficking

 God love and bless you!

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For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!