My First Movie Review

Posted on October 25, 2012 by theveilofchastity

Today I offer my first movie review! In the future, I also plan to write book reviews and blog reviews as a way of providing a variety of resources that impart wisdom and hope to single girls.

The movie “Paul VI: The Pope in The Tempest” is about the life of Pope Paul VI. First let me warn you that the movie is only available in Italian. This language hurdle would have normally been a show-stopper for me. But, since there are English sub-titles, I found it very easy to understand. To give you an idea of how easy it is to grasp this movie, even in Italian, our 7 year-old was able to follow (read) along and he loved the movie (he is a history buff). So, I am confident that you will also be able to easily follow along.

Rather than attempting to summarize the whole movie, I’ve decided to provide this Editorial Review directly from Amazon.com:

“Pope Paul VI was a leader in the Catholic Church as a priest, bishop, cardinal and pope through one of the most difficult periods in its history from the Fascist regime and World War II to the constitution of the Italian Republic, from the Second Vatican Council to the protests and the terrorist attacks of the 1960s and 1970s.

His papacy ran from 1963 to 1978, during which he wrote the prophetic, controversial document Humane Vitae that strongly proclaimed the Church’s teaching on the sacredness of married love and human life, and the evil of contraception which the Pontiff said would open the door to abortion if allowed. He was the first travelling Pope who began to visit the dioceses of the 5 continents like no pope had ever done before.

This exciting and insightful film covers fifty years of history that changed the Catholic Church and the world. Paul VI: The Pope in the Tempestis a story that draws emotion and lessons from history itself, dramatically mixing stunning reconstructions and real film footage.”

You may be wondering why we should care about this man who died over 30 years ago? I think there are many reasons but I will offer two. First, he was a modern-day prophet and second, he understands women and reveals us to ourselves. Hey, anyone that can explain me to me is definitely worth a study!

Pope Paul VI visits the Holy Land, 1964.

A Difficult Period In History

My review will focus on the topics in the bolded text above. Specifically, Pope Paul VI’s prophetic encyclical, Humanae Vitae and the impact our Holy Father’s wisdom had on the Church and on the world.

The Editorial Review above states that he was Pope of the Catholic Church during “one of the most difficult periods in its history.” I agree with this evaluation. Before watching this movie, I had very little insight into the historical relevance and timing of Humanae Vitae and the difficulty that the Pope endured as a result of releasing the encyclical.

Hidden Treasures of God’s Wisdom

“He (Christ) is the key that opens all the hidden treasures of God’s wisdom and knowledge. I tell you, then, do not let anyone deceive you with false arguments, no matter how good they seem to be.” Col 2: 3-4

Up until The Lambeth Conference in 1930, all Christian faiths were against contraception and believed it to be morally wrong. Protestants like Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, Wesley, Melancthon Jacobus, Matthew Henry, Christian Gottlob Barth, the Synod of Dort, Jerhard Gerhard, William Dodd, Alfred Edersheim, and a bunch of other Protestant theologians all saw Genesis 38 (the spilling of the seed to impede conception) as a condemnation of birth control. But, the Lambeth Conference surprisingly allowed for contraception in limited circumstances for Anglican Protestants. By 1960, a mere 30 years later, most Mainline Protestant denominations had removed prohibitions against artificial contraception.

By the 1960’s many of the Catholic laity, theologians, priests, Cardinals and Bishops were unable to see a problem with artificial birth control. I say “unable to see” because most, at that time, saw artificial birth control as a good thing and their arguments in support of it seemed to be good. But, Pope Paul VI found the hidden treasure of God’s wisdom and was not deceived with false arguments.

Humanae Vitae

Humanae Vitae, released by Pope Paul VI in 1968, reaffirmed the Catholic Church’s traditional view of marriage and marital relations and condemned the use of artificial birth control. The encyclical states that “of its very nature (artificial birth control) contradicts the moral order” and that “it is a serious error to think that a whole married life of otherwise normal relations can justify sexual intercourse which is deliberately contraceptive and so intrinsically wrong.”

As you can imagine, the encyclical did not go over well and was very controversial!

Even the Pontifical Commission on Birth Control, formed by the Pope for the purpose of studying the topic, disagreed with the Pope’s conclusion. The Commission recommended the Pope go against the consistent historical teaching of the Church and allow artificial birth control. But, Pope Paul VI courageously went against the recommendation of the Pontifical Commission and went forward with the encyclical.

Prophetic Pope

This is one of many examples in history where Jesus’ words ring true:

“When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on His own but will tell you what He has heard. He will tell you about the future.” John 16:13

Indeed, the Holy Spirit did tell Pope Paul VI about the future and guided him in truth; a truth which others found impossible to see. The Pope predicts, with amazing accuracy, that wide-spread acceptance of artificial methods of birth control will result in several negative societal, marital and spiritual consequences, including an increase “need” for abortion. The specific consequences he predicted, all of which have come true, were:

a “general lowering of moral standards” resulting from sex without consequences, and
the danger that men may reduce women “to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of [their] own desires” and
abuse of power by public authorities and
a false sense of autonomy

His Wise Words

In the movie, you can feel the pressure Pope Paul VI was under and the inner conflict he experienced. But, it is his words that I will forever remember.

During one of the meetings with the Pontifical Commission, Pope Paul VI said, “Sterilizing the poor makes the rich feel less guilty.” This was in response to the Commission trying to make the point that artificial birth control would allow poor families control over their fertility.

Pope Paul VI also said to them, “We are trying to understand the meaning of Love. What is more important than that? Be strong!”

In a different conversation, a priest said to the Pope,

“The world has long awaited an encyclical that discusses sex. You cannot publish one that says the same things that a Pope would have said a century ago. What will our followers and women in particular, think when they read: ‘Any action that impedes procreation must be avoided.’? How much longer can we ignore the needs of the modern world?”

In response, Pope Paul VI said,

“I didn’t write this encyclical to discuss sex but to talk about Love…about Life…about men and women. I’ve asked myself, “What’s the value of love and life and of men and women? What will become of this civilization of love, of men and women? What will a population in search of personal pleasure be like? Won’t these contraceptive methods make us lose respect for women? Won’t they transform women into an object of pleasure? Won’t they give us the illusion of freedom in exchange for losing faith in the parental roles? How can love deny the transmission of life? Isn’t life the greatest gift God has given us? The Pope cannot say something is right if it is not.”

Chastity and Superabundance

What is the connection to Chastity? The most basic definition of Chastity is the virtue of saving sex for marriage and remaining open to life within marriage. Artificial birth control has made it very easy for sex to take place outside of marriage with the false notion that it is ‘consequence free.’ Here we are, almost 50 after the introduction of the pill, and premarital sex is pretty much a given in relationships.

Abortion is a tragic but normal part of our reality and it is a natural consequence of failed contraception. Contraception has led today’s society to believe that sex should not result in babies and when it does, they are perplexed. How did this happen? Now, they must get rid of this baby. In the United States, about 3,000 babies are aborted each day. That equates to 1,350,500 a year. That is one every 24 seconds. For every 100 births in the United States, there are 31 abortions.

Within marriage, artificial birth control breaks the unitive and procreative meaning of the marital embrace. Artificial birth control blocks the channel of grace that is supposed to be available to us when we are open to life. This channel of grace is what produces the fruit of Superabundance. Artificial birth control cuts off access to grace and Superabundance. Superabundance is what gives the marriage life. Without it, marital love dies.

There are so many other severe consequences to the contraceptive mentality, some of which are not felt until it is too late. The Pope predicted this.

Love

The controversy concerning contraception and abortion is still going on today. But, as the Pope said, it is not about sex. It is about love. It is about life and the greatest gift God has given us: The ability to be co-creators with Him and to participate in the transmission of life.

“How can love deny the transmission of life?” Pope Paul VI

It is about Love.

Thank you, Pope Paul VI. Thank you, Holy Spirit of Truth.

God Bless!

Upcoming Reviews:

Women In Love ~ a book by Katie Hartfield
Would You Date You? ~ a book by Anthony Buono (founder of AvaMariasingles.com)
Made In His Image ~ a blog by Maura
Held by His Pierced Hands ~ a blog by Meg Hunter-Kilmer

7 Quick Takes Friday

Posted on October 19, 2012 by theveilofchastity

— 1 —

This is my first (really super) Quick Takes Friday. We love you, Jennifer and it is an honor to be part of this blog party!

— 2 —

Today is our 10 year wedding anniversary and I am married to an amazing man. I really believe in this Superabundance thing!

— 3 —

I might be simplifying things but, to me, Chastity is the answer to virtually all problems.

— 4 —

Mormons seem to “get” this whole chastity thing. I know very little about their beliefs but I am impressed with the young Mormon couples that I have met and their clear understanding of the beauty of family and openness to life.

— 5 —

Children are a gift. Children are a gift. Children are a gift.

— 6 —

If I could have dinner with any couple, I would choose Alice and Dietrich von Hildebrand. I know Dietrich passed many years ago but I just would give anything to just sit and listened to the two of them. No one seems to talk as deeply, beautifully and as intelligently as they do anymore.

— 7 —

God is Good.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Does God Arrange Marriages?

Posted on October 19, 2012 by theveilofchastity

Today, my husband and I celebrate our 10^th wedding anniversary. In my book, I share my path through singleness. I also share the story of how God arranged for me and Gregg, my Holy Spouse, to meet and marry.

The premise of my book and of this blog is the idea that we are all covered by a veil and that only our Holy Spouse can see us. All other suitors will reject us because they cannot fully see us.

I define our Holy Spouse as the one that God intends for us to marry. Given that definition, it is clear that I believe God arranges marriages. Is there any biblical evidence to support my belief? Let’s look at the Book of Tobit.

Book of Tobit

This is a beautiful story of God’s healing power and His providential hand in marriage. Goodness me, there are so many great lessons in this divinely inspired book! I will only be able to cover the highlights but I hope these fascinating events build your faith and confidence in God’s intimate and tender care for us.

Tobit and Tobias

Tobit was a righteous Israelite of the Tribe of Naphtali who was blinded when bird droppings fell into his eyes. Tobit had a son, Tobias. He sent Tobias to the land of Media. Tobias was accompanied by the Archangel Raphael and his dog.

Sarah

Meanwhile, in faraway Media, a young woman named Sarah prayed for death. She had lost seven husbands to the demon of lust, Asmodeus, who abducted and killed every man she married on their wedding night before the marriage can be consummated. God, in response to Tobit’s prayer and Sarah’s prayer, sent the Archangel Raphael, disguised as a human, to heal Tobit (from his blindness) and to free Sarah from the demon.

Isn’t that amazing?! Sarah married 7 different men. The demon of lust, however, killed them all on the wedding night before the marriage could be consummated! Interesting! That is some mighty intervention! And, it appears that God allowed evil to ‘do its thing’ in order for His holy will to be accomplished.

Sarah had lost seven husbands and was very understandably distraught. She wished to die. Her friends taunted her and said, “You husband killer! Look at you! You’ve already had seven husbands, but not one of them lived long enough to give you a son.” Tobit 3:8

But, Sarah remembered her poor Father and how ashamed and inconsolable he would be if she were to hang herself. So, she prayed instead.

God Hears The Prayers of Tobit and Sarah

“So the prayers of them both were heard before the majesty of the great God.” Tobit 3:16

As Tobit and Sarah were praying, God in heaven heard their prayers and sent his angel Raphael to help them. He was sent to remove the white film from Tobit’s eyes, so that he could see again, and to arrange a marriage between Sarah and Tobit’s son Tobias. Raphael was also ordered to expel the demon, Asmodeus, from Sarah.

In one fell swoop, in response to Tobit’s and Sarah’s prayers, God:

heals Tobit of his blindness and heals Sarah of the curse from the demon of lust
arranges a marriage between Sarah and Tobias, and
commands His Archangel Raphael to expel the demon of lust!

The Archangel Raphael escorts Tobias to Media

The Healings

Along the way to Media, while washing his feet in the river Tigris, he (Tobias) was attacked by a fish which tried to swallow his foot. By order of the angel (Raphael) he captured it. The heart, liver and gall bladder were removed to make medicines, also by order of Raphael.

Upon arriving in Media, Raphael told Tobias of the beautiful Sarah. He instructs the young man to burn the fish’s liver and heart to drive away the demon when he attacks on the wedding night.

The two are married, and the fumes of the burning organs drove the demon (Asmodeas) away to Upper Egypt, while Raphael followed him to bind him. Raphael also told Tobias to use the fish’s gall to cure his father’s blindness.

What are the medicines that heal us of our blindness and allow us to see God’s will today? God imparts his powerful grace and heals us through the Sacrament of Marriage, the Sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation and Confession, the sacred sacrifice of the Mass, the Holy Eucharist and the Precious Blood of Jesus, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, prayer, fasting, scripture and sacrifice. These are our medicines today.

Did you know that God also heals us through the marital embrace? Yes, the marital embrace is a renewal of our wedding vows and this very holy act heals us and imparts grace into our marriage!

What binds the demon of lust for us today? Chastity.

The Marriage

“Pray to God which is merciful, who will have pity on you, and save you: fear not, for she is appointed unto thee from the beginning; and thou shalt preserve her, and she shall go with thee. Moreover I suppose that she shall bear thee children. Now when Tobias had heard these things, he loved her, and his heart was effectually joined to her.”” Tobit 6:17

Translated, here is what the Archangel Raphael said, “Don’t be afraid. Sarah was meant to be yours from the beginning of creation. You will rescue her from the demon, and she will go with you to your home. You and Sarah will have many children, whom you will love very much. So don’t worry!” Did you notice Tobias response? He loved her. His heart was effectually (thoroughly) joined to Sarah’s. I contend that was the moment the veil was lifted and Superabundance poured in!

Raguel, Sarah’s Father, said, “I will give her to you just as the Law of Moses commands. God in heaven has arranged this marriage, so take her as your wife. From now on, you belong to each other. Sarah is yours today and forever. May the Lord of heaven keep both of you safe tonight. May he be merciful and kind to you.” Tobit 7:12

Meeting our Holy Spouse will not be a coincidence. Beautiful scripture says that you and your Holy spouse were appointed unto each other from the beginning and that God in heaven has arranged your marriage.

You may wonder, as I have, how exactly does God work it all out given the fact that we have the gift of free will? I guess the power of grace, when we are open to it, influences us. And our guardian angels can whisper in our ears and move us in specific directions. God knows ahead of time what we will do. God allows for events to influence us and somehow all the stars align at the right time.

I don’t know how He did it, but I am convinced that God arranged our marriage too.

Gregg and I met through a single catholic dating website. We were both 37 years old and neither of us had ever been married. We were both feeling a bit like Sarah. The world was looking at us as if there was something wrong with us and we had plenty of past relationship “deaths” to speak of. Despair was biting at our heels.

Gregg first contacted me in Aug 2001. He lived in Kansas and I lived in Virginia. Our meeting was not a coincidence. We were engaged in May 2002 and married in October 19, 2002. We had the most beautiful, holy wedding. And, we have a beautiful, holy marriage.

The Archangel Raphael expels the demon of lust. Tobias and Sarah pray to the Lord. Notice the dog.

Expelling the Demon of Lust

“But before you consummate the marriage, both of you must get up and pray for the Lord in heaven to be merciful to you and to protect you.” Tobit 6:15

Check out the gorgeous painting of the Archangel Raphael binding Asmodeas, the demon of lust! Today, the medicine and remedy to lust is Chastity, both before marriage and within marriage. We are co-creators with God and we are not allowed to shut Him out of this important aspect of our marriage. We must remain open to life. We must expel the demon of lust through the power of Chastity.

Stay in God’s Will

I noticed that Tobias was brought to Sarah. She did not have to chase him. She prayed and responded to his initiation. She fought back the temptation to go against God’s will. And God worked it all out in His time.

God knows who you will marry and He can arrange your meeting if you stay in His will. Staying in His will means bathing your life and your soul in the medicines He provides. If you have strayed from Him, turn around and confess it. Start living a Sacramental life. If you have strayed from a chaste life, turn around, confess it and recommit your ‘gift of self’ to the Lord. Then, wait on your Holy Spouse and wait on our good Lord.

October 19, 2002 Praise be to God!

Happy Anniversary, Gregg. Thank you for 10 wonderful years. Thank you, Lord for arranging our marriage from the beginning of creation.

God Bless!

Stop Responding To Lame and Inconsistent Initiation

Posted on October 12, 2012 by theveilofchastity

In my post from four weeks ago, I shared that it is unwise to chase men. And, that if you find yourself doing the chasing, you should:

Stop sleeping with him.
Stop chasing him.
Stop thinking your expectations for being chased are too high.
Stop responding to lame and inconsistent initiation from him.

This week, I will address #4: Stop responding to lame and inconsistent initiation.

Why?

Lame and inconsistent chasing by men is a symptom. I recommend women pay attention to this key symptom because it is often a result of a need of his being met. You, wonderful you, are fulfilling some or many of his needs and he is under the impression that you are happy to fulfill these needs.

These needs can be physical, emotional or social needs. Or, it can be simply that you build up his ego by your strong interest in him. Your chasing, responding and flirtation are making him feel great! But, it also makes him feel sort of guilty knowing that he doesn’t have the same strong feelings for you or the same vision of your future together dancing in his head. So, he waxes and wanes in his approach. He runs hot and cold. His initiation is lame and inconsistent.

Practice Girl

Have you ever heard of the term practice girl? Sometimes, not always, guys like to practice on girls who will let them. They practice their skills in asking a girl out, calling girls, kissing girls, etcetera (yes, etcetera!). But, the guys know deep down that they are just practicing for the big game (marriage) rather than sincerely pursuing these practice girls. So, they manage the situation by pushing the emotional boundaries and then pulling back so that the girl’s expectations remain low and in check.

In the meantime, his needs are being met. His skills are being developed and his confidence in himself is growing. And, because the girl continues to respond to the lame and inconsistent initiation, he doesn’t feel all that guilty about it….until the girl complains or acts and feels frustrated.

How Will You Know?

As the girl, this will be the symptom to look out for: you complain and/or act and feel frustrated. Then, in response to your complaints and frustration, he pulls back instead of addressing your complaint in a way that will completely reassure you.

You see, even your Holy Spouse (the one that God intends for you to marry) will not be perfect in his wooing. But, once a Holy Spouse realizes his mistake, he self-corrects and does things that will reassure his beloved. Your Holy Spouse’s feelings for you should very rarely ebb. Rather, they flow and they grow. Even if he does have a smidgen of doubt, he keeps it to himself in order not to lose you.

But, when you are his practice girl, his feelings will ebb and in response, he will pull back. So, don’t listen to his words, pay attention to his actions. Here is a refresher from my past post on genuine, courageous, reassuring chasing:

“Chasing means he tries to draw you into his life. He makes plans with you. He calls you daily just to hear your voice and make sure you don’t forget about him. He sees you as a marvelous mystery so he spends his time and energy trying to figure you out and get closer to you. He envisions a future with you and this, my friend, excites him!”

Are you being loved, cherished, chased and pursued in an impressive and consistent manner? If not, you may just be a practice girl. Sigh.

No lame and inconsistent behavior will be accepted, thank you.

What Should You Do?

Keep in mind that I think men are awesome, competent and brave when it comes to pursuing the one they want to make their wife. So, I am not saying that men are bad, bad, bad if they practice on girls. But, they are wrong to do so. And, we are wrong to allow them to practice on us. It is incumbent upon us women to discern the man’s intentions by astutely paying attention to his actions. Women have had to do this from the beginning of time.

Of course there are times when the relationship runs its course and the guy decides, after many years, to marry Practice Girl. He marries her because no other girl (with whom he has true interest) will have him. So, after much frustration, complaining and cajoling by her, they get married. I say without a doubt that Practice Girl will have a tough row to hoe. This is not what you want.

If you discover that you are a practice girl, then all you need to do is stop responding. Stop responding to phone calls and texts. If he asks you out on a date, simply smile and say “No, thank you.” The romance will die a natural death and you will have your dignity intact.

Prepare Yourself

Be prepared to battle doubts that make you feel like your expectations are too high and that you have been too hard on him. As Katie from It’s Fun To Be a Girl says, “immerse yourself in the Sacraments.” You will need the strength and grace that only the Sacraments can give you.

If you have been sleeping with him, the sex will result in strong feelings of attachment and this will make it hard for you to judge the romance clearly.

But, try to keep in mind that his lame and inconsistent approach to your romance has led you to believe that you are his practice girl. And, in response to your complaints and frustration, he has failed to convince you otherwise with impressive and consistent actions. There are not many feelings worse than that.

The Veil

You may be wondering why he pursues you at all if his intentions are not on the up and up? Well, I believe that in addition to having his needs met, he also likes what he sees in you. But he can’t fully see you. I believe that we are all covered by a veil and only the one that God intends for us to marry, our Holy Spouse, can see us fully.

So, his insincere intentions may be completely subconscious rather than openly sinister. And, your temptation to continue on as Practice Girl, although it is not healthy, is understandable. But, only through the power of grace and chastity will you have the wisdom and strength to discern the quality of the romance and overcome the temptation to be a practice girl.

Don’t waste your time. Instead, trust that God has a more dignified role for you; the honorable role as a wife to your Holy Spouse. Trust that God wants you to be loved, cherished, chased and pursued by your Holy Spouse. Commit to Chastity. Wait on your Holy Spouse. Wait on our dear Lord.

If you are having doubts that God intervenes in our lives when it comes to marriage, check in next week when I share the beautiful Old Testament story of Tobias and Sarah!

God Bless!

Stop Thinking Your Expectations Are Too High

Posted on October 5, 2012 by theveilofchastity

In my post from three weeks ago, I shared that it is unwise to chase men. And, that if you find yourself doing the chasing, you should:

Stop sleeping with him.
Stop chasing him.
Stop thinking your expectations for being chased are too high.
Stop responding to lame and inconsistent initiation from him.

This week, I will address #3: Stop thinking your expectations for being chased are too high.

This seems to be a very common battle that goes on with us women. We fluctuate between two different beliefs. The first belief comes from the deepest desires of our hearts and the hope that we will be loved and cherished, chased and pursued by our beloved.

The second belief happens when that hope is not fulfilled. It is the false belief that because our hope is not fulfilled, our expectations for being loved and cherished, chased and pursued are too high. So, we start to feel guilty and needy. We know what we need from a man and yet when we are not receiving it, we start to wonder if it is even possible and are we worth it? Are our expectations too high?

Is it Possible?

When I was single, I observed many couples. Some couples made me think, “That’s the kind of marriage I desire!” But there were plenty of couples that made me think, “Oh goodness, is that what marriage is like?! Yikes!”

I’d like to share with you an excerpt from my book because it reminds me of the time in my life when I was not getting what I needed from the guys I was dating. Just when I was about to give in and believe that maybe my expectations were too high, I would witness the first kind of couple. The kind of couple that reminded me of the kind of marriage I desired and hoped for. And, my determination and hope would be restored. Jim and Regan were one of those wonderful couples. Here is their story:

“I just received a Christmas card from a couple that I met about 23 years ago. The husband, Jim, and I were young engineers together working in the same office. His wife, Regan, had a good job working for a lawyer and later became a stay-at-home Mom. They were married young and during the time I knew them they had five children. I lost touch with them about 15 years ago but then I reconnected with them a couple of years ago. We just send Christmas cards now but it is enough for me to smile and remember them and the impact they had on me.

Jim and Regan clearly had what I longed for as a single girl; a happy marriage with a man who would make me feel loved, cherished, chased and pursued. But, they were special. They practiced chastity before their marriage and were open to life within their marriage. Yes, they had five children, which seems like a lot, but they were all ‘wanted” and for the most part, all planned. They used natural family planning (NFP).

My insight into their marriage was provided by Jim and wow did he adore Regan! It was like nothing I had ever seen before. God bless Jim because he graciously, but respectfully, witnessed to me about the power of chastity. I believe the point of him sharing their personal story with me was to encourage me on in my own weakening commitment to chastity.

Regan was committed to chastity and set the standard high even as a young girl in high school and college. And, Jim gladly met the standard. He had to have her. He had to convince her to marry him. She wanted to be an actress (locally) but the impressive wooing from Jim convinced her to marry him instead.

I wish I could describe to you his face when he would talk about her. Each time they had a new baby, Regan would visit our office. She looked so happy. I mean, she beamed! Jim told me that several minutes after giving birth she would say, “Let’s do that again!”

I have a friend who worked with Regan at the law office. My friend was a receptionist and would occasionally have to take a phone message for Regan. She told me that when Regan got a message that read ‘Jim called’, she would get a big smile and her eyes would light up. The description from my friend led me to believe that Regan somehow floated away on a cloud of happiness. This was a completely independent, but identical, observation by my friend and me about this couple.

Did they have perfect marriage? I am certain they had their challenges, especially financially. Jim drove the old station wagon with the wood panels on the side and Regan drove an old and very big van. But, they were not caught up in status and materialism which is often a death-blow to marriages. They had everything their hearts desired. They had each other and all these cute children that bonded them in love. They had a strong Catholic faith and they lived and practiced it. They built their life on the Rock rather than on sand and they were firmly grounded. I knew, even back then, that they could withstand any storm.

I wanted what they had and was convinced that Regan’s chastity was the key to their bliss. They practiced NFP so there were times when they chose to abstain from the marital embrace. They were young and very fertile. But, when the door was ‘open’ again, you could almost read it on Jim’s face. He was a very committed and brilliant engineer. But, on the “door open” evenings, he left the office promptly at 4:00pm with a spring in his step and a slight blush in his cheek. The silent message was “Goodbye everyone, I have a date with my wife tonight!”

So, as I am writing this book, I get this beautiful Christmas card from them, still in love and surrounded by their five grown children. Regan and Jim are still glowing. Ah, chastity.”

So, yes it is possible. And, no your expectations of being loved, cherished, chased and pursued are not too high.

Superabundance changes our vision!

Are We Worth It?

My answer here may surprise you. I visited a girlfriend of mine the other day and we got to chatting about our wonderful husbands. I shared with her that I think it is amazing that my husband can love me so much given all my faults. I wasn’t being self-deprecating. I was stating my belief that his love for me is supernatural and that I believe Superabundance changes his vision of me.

I contend that the Superabundance, which results from our chaste marriage, significantly diminishes my faults and almost makes them invisible to my Holy Spouse. I also believe that Superabundance somehow then magnifies my good traits. Chastity allows for superabundance and good fruits to flow. These good fruits result in that interior gaze that Blessed Pope John Paul II talks about in his famous Wednesday talks referred to as Theology of the Body. For example, he said to his General Audience on January 2, 1980:

“Seeing each other, as if through the mystery of creation, man and woman see each other even more fully and distinctly than through the sense of sight itself, that is, through the eyes of the body. They see and know each other with all the peace of the interior gaze, which creates precisely the fullness of the intimacy of persons.”

So, no I am not worth it. Not by myself. Not without the grace of Superabundance.

The Veil

I contend that we are covered by a veil and only the one that God intends for us to marry, our Holy Spouse, can see us. If you are not being loved and cherished, chased and pursued by the guy you are dating, it has nothing to do with your “worth.” I contend that it is because he can’t see you. But, your Holy Spouse will see you and he will like what he sees!

God designed us. He knows what we women need. He put those desires in our hearts.

Your expectations for being loved, cherished, chased and pursued are not too high. Commit to Chastity. Wait on your Holy Spouse. Wait on our dear Lord.

Next week I will discuss why you should stop responding to lame and inconsistent initiation from men.

God bless!