“Your mother was like a vine in a vineyard; transplanted by the water, fruitful and full of branches, by reason of abundant water.”
Summer has ended but would not be complete without the memories I have from attending our family reunion. One of the most memorable parts for me was sitting around the kitchen island with my Mom, Aunt, Sisters and Cousins talking about courtship and marriage.
My Mom shared the story of how my Grandparents (her Mom and Dad) met, courted and married. Next, my Aunt shared her cute story. And, my parents have a similar “it was so easy” love story.
What struck me is that none of these women appeared to chase men. Instead, they were the ones being chased.
My Grandmother was in her teens when my Grandfather fell in love with her. He had to convince her to marry him. And, as providence would have it, she married him, fell deeply in love with him and had 12 children with him. Notice the order. They were happily married until death parted them.
My Aunt was soothing a broken heart caused by one of her boyfriends when she met my Uncle….at a square dance. Another couple had persuaded her to go to the square dance. So, she reluctantly went. And, there he was, Uncle Prince Charming. It was so easy! That was almost 55 years ago and yes they are still happily married with four children, several grandchildren, the whole nine yards.
My Parents met at the Pentagon in the mid-1950’s. Throughout their marriage, my Dad teased my Mom about being “Officer bait”. Once he met her, the chase was on. He actually rescued her one time following a mouse sighting. He was proud to be her knight in shining armor.
He would invite her for coffee and she accepted…. sometimes. She wasn’t playing games. He had to prove himself and he knew this. The whole world used to know this.
Their first real date was in September, my Mom stopped dating other men in November, my parents were engaged in December and they married a couple of months later in April. It was so easy!
They were happily married until my Father’s death in 2008. They were blessed with four children, several grandchildren and great-grandchildren, the whole nine yards.
And, my own story is very similar. My husband and I met, courted, were engaged and married in about a year. It was so easy!
The key to all these blessed marriages: The men chased us!
Why Won’t He Chase You?
I have this theory that we are covered by a veil because God places a protective veil over all of us. The purpose of the veil is to hide us from every possible suitor except the one that God intends for us to marry.
The one that God intends for you to marry will chase you. All other suitors will be lame and inconsistent in their chasing and this will tempt you to start chasing them.
So, what do you do when you are in a relationship that leaves you feeling like you, rather than the guy, are the one doing the chasing? There are a couple of things, all of which start with the verb “stop.”
- Stop sleeping with him.
- Stop chasing him.
- Stop thinking your expectations for being chased are too high.
- Stop responding to lame and inconsistent initiation from him.
I will break down each step in future posts over the next couple weeks. In the meantime, keep in mind that it should be easy!