Last week I wrote that God’s movement in our lives is a mystery and seeing Him requires us to seek Him with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength.   I reassured you that I too sometimes feel that God is distant and uninvolved and if you experience this, then it is not your imagination.  I shared Old Testament scripture that confirms our experience matches the experience of God’s people from all time.  You are not imagining the mysteriousness of God.

There is, however, something that you just might be imagining and my hope is to provide perspective and comfort.

Does God Bless Some More Than Others?

I think we humans naturally compare our lives to other’s lives.  We imagine that other’s lives are problem free and full of blessings.

Even our young son falls into the comparison trap.  He thinks that Joey from his football team is a better athlete (he is).  And since Joey has a swimming pool and a couple of siblings, then in the mind of my 9-year-old, Joey must be soooo much happier and more blessed.  There is just no convincing him, in times of doubt, that he is just as blessed as Joey but that each of their blessings are different.  Plus, I try my best to explain that he and Joey have a whole lot of life to live.  The story is not over yet. He has no idea how his life and Joey’s life will transpire. But, he lacks the perspective he needs to accept this.

Do you ever look around at what others have and say to God, “What about me?  Don’t You love me too?” 

Healing Our Vision

When I was single, I started asking God to change and heal my vision.  I didn’t mean my eyesight, I meant my perspective and how I perceived things.  This human tendency to compare our lives to other’s lives and then imagine that we have somehow received the short end of the stick, is natural.  But, we must see with supernatural eyes.  Our natural eyes will deceive us and lead us to believe that God is stingy or that He plays favorites.

Pull Back The Veil

Part of what you are seeing when you compare, is true.  Some are abundantly blessed and other do not seem to be. When looking with our natural eyes, it just does not seem to be fair. But remember, the spiritual life is veiled.  When you allow God to pull back the veil and show you Truth, then you see that God is perfectly Just.  His perfect justice is working all things for good. On the surface and without God, you will only see injustice.  It will appear as though others have more and that God does not care.

Are You Being Tested?

This past Sunday was the feast of Corpus Christi and the first reading was so perfect I have to share it: 

“Moses said to the people:

“Remember how for forty years now the LORD, your God,
has directed all your journeying in the desert,
so as to test you by affliction
and find out whether or not it was your intention
to keep his commandments.
He therefore let you be afflicted with hunger,
and then fed you with manna,
a food unknown to you and your fathers,
in order to show you that not by bread alone does one live,
but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of the LORD.   Deut 8:2-3, 14 16

If you feel you are being tested, then you most likely are not imagining it.  Just like scripture says, God wants to know your intentions.  He is allowing you to be afflicted but, just like the Israelites, there will come a time when He will provide for you exactly what you need.

That You May See

In the meantime, pray for God to heal your sight.  Thank God for your blessings and fight against the temptation to look around and keep score on what others have.  Reign in your imagination by living a Sacramental life in Christ.  His grace is the ointment and salve which anoint and heal our eyes and minds.

“I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see.”  Rev 3:18 

Heavenly Treasures 

Because we belong to God, our treasures will look different.  But, they will be eternal and cannot be taken from us.  Our minds will be refined by the fire of His love and our eyes will see with His perfect justice. 

God love and bless you!

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If God seems far off and absent, it is not your imagination. For whatever reason, He operates in a cloaked fashion, shrouded in mystery.  The authors of the Old Testament wrote about the mysterious nature of God and all the saints share this experience.

The spiritual life is veiled and we, unfortunately have to seek God with all our hearts, souls, strength and mind just to get a glimpse of Him.  From my experience, He only gives enough to sustain me for a time.  Then, He hides again.  And, I must seek Him again.

Deuteronomy 4:29

“But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul.”

Jeremiah 29:13

“You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. ” 

2 Corinthians 3:16

“…but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.”

Keep seeking Him in the way that He instructed by living a Sacramental life.  Each and every glimpse of Him will be worth it.  Listen for Him in the quiet of your heart. Ask, seek, knock. Tell Him everything. Trust that He is working behind the scenes of your life. Without Him, we perish emotionally and spiritually.  We can easily fall into despair.  He is our hope and our peace.

So it is not your imagination.  He is hidden from and seeking you at the same time.  But, He can be found.  He can be known.  He can be trusted.

If you are in need of encouragement, please feel free to write to me. I know this is hard.

God love and bless you.

Old Testament Scripture About The Hidden Nature Of God

Job 13:24

“Why do You hide Your face And consider me Your enemy?”

Psalms 69:17

“And do not hide Your face from Your servant, For I am in distress; answer me quickly.” 

Psalms 88:14

“O LORD, why do You reject my soul? Why do You hide Your face from me? 

Isaiah 8:17

And I will wait for the LORD who is hiding His face from the house of Jacob; I will even look eagerly for Him.

Isaiah 45:15

Truly, You are a God who hides Himself, O God of Israel, Savior! 

Psalms 13:1

How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? 

Psalms 10:1

Why do You stand afar off, O LORD? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?

Psalms 55:1

Give ear to my prayer, O God; And do not hide Yourself from my supplication.

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This week’s post was written by my mom, Louise!

Upon my request, my mom documented 7 short stories of her family, including the story of how her parents met.  My mom is one of twelve children born to a young couple from Italy who immigrated to America about 100 years ago. I typed up the 7 stories and plan to turn them into a book with photos.  Then, the book will be presented to each of our relatives at our family reunion at the end of July. I am sooooo excited about it!  Some stories are difficult to get through without tearing up.

Well, as I was typing up the first story, which is the one about how my Grandparents met, I realized that I could share that story here. I realized from this story that the vocation of marriage has never been ‘easy’ and that we don’t always know what would be good for us in that important area of our life.  I hope you enjoy it. Thank you, Mom!

My Mom, Louise! She was engaged to my Father in this photo.

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Antonio and Maria

Antonio Leonardo Liotti and Maria Giovanna Renzi were born in Amendolara, Italy.  It seems their families were acquainted.

Mom said she, along with her mother, worked in the fields.  One of the jobs was picking olives.  Olive-harvesting season is from the end of October for approximately six weeks – according to Google.  I was surprised at the short time frame.  I had always pictured in my mind that they spent most of their working hours picking olives.  So I suppose they worked for a variety of farms harvesting whatever crop happened to be in season.

Mom said they were 16 years-old and Dad was showing interest but she had no such intentions.  She was not interested and said he was short, a little pudgy and blonde.  But he, being determined, kept pursuing.  Then her mother, her aunt and a relative on his side tried to encourage her by telling her he was a good person and to give him a chance.

But Mom’s interest and desire was to go to school.  So at night she went to be taught by a tutor.

Dad, according to Mom, did not live very close to her.  She said it was quite a walk and he would often walk to her house to see her.  Her Mother would tell him she was at the tutor’s taking classes.  He was not very happy about that.

One night she was home reading or crocheting, which she like to do. It was raining.  After a little while, she heard music.  She looked out her window and there was my dad standing under the eaves serenading her by playing his guitar and singing.

Still not impressed, she continued doing her thing.  Quite an independent woman of her time!

However, he, too, was strong and undeterred.  So by age 18 he proposed marriage.  Between his persistence and her relatives supporting his cause, she agreed to marry him. 

After setting a date, for whatever reason I can’t recall or she never explained, she broke off the engagement.  Now a friend of his or perhaps a relative was tasked by Antonio to ask Maria whenever he saw her about resetting a date for marriage to take place.  Knowing this would continue, she said to tell him two weeks.

So, the wedding took place September (I believe the 20^th) 1908.

My niece, Teresa and my Mother were at my house in Arlington, VA the week before my sister Mary Jane’s wedding in the 1950’s.  My Mother was relating her wedding story.  I’d heard it many times before.  When Mom finished, Teresa said, “Grandma, I bet you looked beautiful on your wedding day.”  Mom answered, “I don’t know, I didn’t even look in the mirror, I just put the veil on my head and left for the church.”  She was not ready for marriage.

August 2, 1909, their first child, Rose Marie Liotti was born.  Perhaps a year later, Dad left for the Army to put in his service time for his country of Italy.  He was a bugler so his job was to play taps and/or reveille.  I’m not sure which or perhaps both.

He was in the Army for about a year.  When it was time for him to return, a relative-Uncle, I believe, accompanied Mom to the train station to meet Dad.

As all of these people were descending from the train onto the platform, her Uncle said to her, “Maria, do you recognize that man over there?”  She was relating this story to us and told us, “I looked over to where he was pointing and saw this very handsome, tall, dark-haired soldier standing straight as an arrow in his uniform.”  She said to her Uncle, “No, I don’t know him.”  Her Uncle said, “That’s your husband.”

Whenever she told us this story, we always came back with “That’s when you really fell in love with him, Mom.”  She would just smile. 🙂

I’m guessing he was home perhaps a year when he left for America to find work and would then send for mom, Rose and Mom’s sister, Aunt Louise.  His Mother, Sister and Brother were already in America as was Mom’s mom.

Dad arrived in America at Ellis Island, N.Y. on February 23, 1912 on the Berlin.

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Isn’t it interesting that my Grandmother’s vision of my Grandfather changed?  Could that have been the veil covering him and then lifted at the right time?  I mean, they had 12 children who were, with a few exceptions, perfectly spaced two years apart!! My Grandmother even had a baby when she was in her 40’s! Love, attraction and affection were all present in their marriage even though she was not too excited about him at first.  I think this is a prime example of good old-fashioned Superabundance!

God love and bless you!

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Thank you, Katie for sharing your adventure with us!  You are such an inspiration!

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A huge thanks to Cindy for letting me share my amazing experience from my trip to the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC from now on).  So here goes nothing (and thanks in advance for reading and journeying along!)… 

So on March 5th I turned off my cell phone, was dropped off at the airport, and began quite the journey from Charlotte to DC to Belgium to Luanda to Kinshasa (where I spent two days) to Lodja (another two days) to Mukumary.  We had to drive there from Lodja (small city in the middle of the DRC we flew into) which is 145km south of Mukumary.  As we were driving there were many children who were intrigued to see a while girl riding down the road in a Toyota Land Cruiser. 

Everyone wanted a photo with me like I was a ‘Hollywood Star’ or something!

This was the first of about six or so parades that were thrown for me.  They would greet me outside of the village or school and then with singing and dancing would bring me into their village or school!  It was an unbelievable experience! Then after about 4 hours the car stopped in sort of the middle of nowhere (but seriously, it was the middle of nowhere)!  Father Emmanuel said, “It’s time to get out, they want to welcome you.”  Then this happened! (Please click on the 208 to see the movie)

208

A short excerpt from my (100 page) journal from my trip about this day:

“I have never lived a day like today … I couldn’t help but think “What am I doing?  Am I really on my way to an African village 8,000 miles from home?” This is truly unbelievable.  Then as we were entering the village we were stopped by the children waiting to welcome me!  So we walked from there – more people joining as we went along – all singing, dancing, playing the flutes and drums, all to welcome me!  It started to rain and they only sang louder and danced more. … then we went to the Church and they brought me up front to stand on a table to welcome me.”  (March 10th)

Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be in the middleof a room of people singing and dancing and I’d be on top of a table in the center of it all! “The Lord’s Ways are NOT our ways!”

They have nothing and yet they have everything.  They know what is important in life and focus on the things that matter: God, family, faith, friends, joy!  They know how to celebrate – and while I was there we had our fair share of partying, dancing, singing, and celebrating!  Mass was never under 3 hours – the opening processional hymn at the Church in the village was almost 20 minutes long!  But no one was bored or looking at their watch.  They were humbled and grateful to be able to worship their God. My days in the village were very simple: beginning with morning Mass while the sun was rising, visiting their local schools to meet the children, take time to visit with the Chief of the Village (who has the same name as the village, Mukumary), playing cards with Father Charles (the assistant at the parish) and Bea (a wonderful young woman who helped me out by teaching me to cook and washing my clothes), reading some books I had brought, making spaghetti on an open fire, and trying to communicate as much as I could with people who didn’t speak English (I didn’t speak much French, Otetela, Lingala) but did understand love! 

They never run out of love there either.  That is probably the most valuable and intense lesson that I learned while in the DRC.  We think you can run out of love – we look at bigger families and think “How can that one mother love all of those children?  They must be deprived of love!”  But they know that it’s not possible to run out of love (and so do the mothers of large families).  Love multiplies as you give it away.  It gets bigger!  It also has a universal language.  Most of the people in the village spoke a few languages that I didn’t speak at all but still we understood each other.  I understood when they woman was hugging me how much she loved me.

I understood the happiness of these children who were so excited to welcome me to their village.  

Can you find me in the midst of the children of the village of MPAMA?

I understood the beauty of these four amazing people and the yes they gave to the Lord in their vocations!

Clockwise: Father Emmanuel (pastor), Father Charles (assistant),Father Blaise (Diocese of Kole, Vocations Director), Sister Mado (Father Emmanuel’s Sister for his same Diocese)

I understood the peace of just ‘being’ in the presence of another.  We spent a lot of time just sitting together, sometimes playing cards or munching on some coconut, but mostly just ‘being together’ without talking (since it was hard to understand the differences in language). 

I learned that the many issues I have (although they do at times bother me) are not really problems when I put them in perspective.  I went to the Congo in search of something, probably most clearly defined as perspective.  Perspective on my life, my faith, and the world.  There are so many things that just don’t matter that bother me and I wanted to be freed from the bondage they were providing.  I didn’t want to have a ‘terrible, awful day’ because the copier was being mean – I wanted to recognize the simple blessings of my life (like the miracle of a shower – where the water flows from above!) and not take them for granted.  It’s really difficult to do especially since there are so many times when the copier is just really mean (or replace copier with any name of someone I work with)!  I wanted to be able to recognize all of the blessings God has given me.  To see the beauty of the world and take full advantage of what the Lord has provided in my life. 

Now that I’ve been home for about six weeks or so (my trip was the hardest Lent ever – next year I don’t think I’ll be giving up running water and electricity!) I still need to remind myself of the great lessons I’ve learned.  It has become easier to adapt myself back to the ‘first world’ than it was when I first returned.  It was super difficult to come back to the world with internet, cell phones, small issues, running water (wait, who am I kidding – running water was the easiest thing to adapt to – I only used 1 flushing toilet while I was in the DRC and that was in the airport on the way home!), and the people.  Just like when ever I would go on a retreat, you are changed, but you come back to people who are exactly the same as when you left.  It’s hard to fall back into that reality without picking up all of the same bad habits you had before.  Making these adjustments has been the most difficult for me. 

In closing (if you’ve even made it this far), I will try to answer the question most in my mind (and maybe in yours, I don’t know really) which is “great story, amazing experience, what now?”  Yeah, hardest question ever!  Well, I don’t know when or for how long I’ll go back – just that I will.  To prepare for that (whether it’s just me for a long while or a group for a short while) I am learning French.  There’s no way I could go again and not speak the language.  I’m also talking about my trip (which helps me to continue to process) and hoping to share the love of the African people with others.  We need to bottle up that love and send it back here by the tons!  Maybe I can share a little and it will catch fire from there (that’s what my patron Saint Catherine of Siena always said).  And I’m waiting for the Lord to see where He’s calling me next – so I’m living my life, learning French, discerning my vocation (hopefully married life), and enjoying life with friends (even making some new ones).

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!