7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 111


 — 1 —  Last Week’s Post: I Am Just An Average Girl

— 2 —  Next Week’s Post:  Why Won’t He Call Me?  

— 3 —    Not Alone Series:  Last Week’s Topic was Encouraging Men!!

— 4 —    Not Alone Series:  This Week’s Topic was Challenge Time!

— 5 —   Soulmates and Santa Clause:  This article over at The Chastity Project presented a very balanced theology.  

— 6 —    Prayers:  Praying for those killed and injured in the terrorist attacks in Tunisia and Yemen.  One of my favorite aspects of this blog is how it has opened up the whole world to me.  I have met girls from around the world and now when I hear of these attacks, it becomes closer to home.

  7 —   Christ Is The Answer:  Trust.

Christ Is The Answer

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain’t the Lyceum !

I Am Just An Average Girl

In my last post, I encouraged those of you participating in on-line dating to allow for mystery, risk and conquest.  I shared how to manage your ‘online footprint’ in order to find out which guys are willing to slay dragons for you.  I recommended that you think like a guy (mystery, risk, conquest) but behave like a girl. Let’s review.

Behave Like A Girl

Here are some ways to allow for the mystery, risk and conquest in the online dating world:

  1. If you get the matchy-match notice from the dreaded algorithm…..ignore it. Realize that it is the algorithm contacting you and not a real man.
  2. Only communicate with men who are brave and resourceful enough to contact you first. The fact that he reaches out to contact you is a very good sign.
  3. Do not view any profiles until the guy contacts you. Then, you may check him out. This will prevent any Fantasy Relationships taking place in your head.

I also anticipated a protest from you because, inside your head, there may be a belief that you have to be the one who is brave and resourceful.  Your ‘take charge’ attributes have benefited you in other areas of your life so why not apply these gifts to your love life?  It is easy to think that you have to compete to get the love you need. And, there is a voice inside your head that says,I have to make it happen or else it will never happen naturally for me.  I am just an average girl.”

An Average Girl

The world puts an awful lot of pressure on us to be a certain way and most of us will never meet those standards.  Shiny hair, flawless skin, a perfect smile and a strong, smooth body only belong to a few and because of this, the rest of us think of ourselves as ‘average.’

Do you know what I find to be interesting? If you look around, these, what the world would describe as ‘average’, girls get married all the time.  Why is this?


I am convinced that in order for a man to pursue a girl, he needs to be physically attracted to her.  So, in the online dating world, a guy most likely looks at your photo first and then reads your profile.  If there is an interest, he pursues.  This might sound like a bad thing if you are an average girl like me…….unless you understand something ~ attraction is dependent upon the eye of the beholder.

You might be thinking, “That’s your big revelation?  I knew that!”  Yes, you do know it.  What you may not believe is that there is a beholder who will be specifically attracted to you.  Your doubt is normal.  But, this ‘eye of the beholder’ concept is the basis for my Veil and Superabundance Theories.

Whether your beloved beholder ever shows up is the question we all struggle with (see section below).  My point is, he needs to be attracted to you and you want him to be attracted to you.  Give him the opportunity to decide this in his head, heart and soul.  Give him the opportunity to decide to pursue you without feeling pressured because you contacted him first.  In fact, those of us who are average girls benefit even more by letting him decide these things in advance because the question of attraction in the beholder’s eye is already answered with a ‘yes!’.


He Decides, I Pick

When I was single, I made the decision to let the men come to me. Let them decide to pursue me and then I would pick from that pool of candidates. The biggest benefit I experienced was that the question of “Is he attracted to me?” had already been answered and I could proceed with confidence rather than feeling that I had to be perfect.

You see, I didn’t have the ‘power’ that those ‘perfect by the world’s standards’ girls seem to have and therefore I decided to wait for a natural kind of empowerment.  The kind of empowerment that comes from knowing that you are being pursued.

Will He Show Up?

I don’t know if your beloved beholder will show up.  In the same way, I did not know that Gregg would show up.  But, making the decision to let my hoped-for beloved beholder come to me naturally or not at all resulted in a type of empowerment that is hard to describe. I knew what I needed and I gave myself permission to want it, even if it meant not ever having it.  Does that make sense?

Described another way, it was important to me that I not ever wonder if my husband is attracted to me.  I refused to put myself at such a disadvantage…..and this was empowering.  But, I had to wait.  I had to surrender.  I had to accept that he may never show.  I had trust that if he never shows up, then that is a better outcome than constantly trying to prove myself worthy and wasting time knowing that things will eventually ‘fizzle out’ because of a weak attraction.

You can also give yourself permission to do the same because it is in the eye of your beloved beholder that you will be seen as attractive.  This attraction will feel very surreal and supernatural.  Why?  Because it is.

The Supernatural Realm

In order to give yourself this same permission, you have to believe in the Supernatural realm.  It is in this realm where God fulfills His plan.  If your vocation was left simply in the natural realm, then I would advise you to do all you can to capture your man before some other girl gets him.  Help him, contact him first, call him, email him, text him and chase him.  Be the doormat.

But that is not how God designed us women.  He designed us to be the receivers and the responders.  He designed men to be the initiators and the pursuers.  Therefore, wait for God to infuse Supernatural grace into your man so that he will not need your help.  Of course, this can only happen within the Supernatural realm of God’s will.  So, stay in His will.  Do not stray from His path.

Once you wrap your arms around this truth, you will have peace while you wait.  You will be able to stop yourself from initiating contact with men, helping them in their pursuit or becoming the doormat.  You will be able to wait on the Lord and His Supernatural Grace. Even in the event that your beloved beholder does not show up, the Lord’s Peace and Supernatural Grace will be with you.

I invite you to email me at anytime: theveilofchastity@gmail.com

God Love and Bless You!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 110


 — 1 —  Last Week’s Post:  Don’t Take Away His Dragons. It is so tempting to want to ‘make something happen’ rather than trust in the process. Please write to me if you need encouragement.

— 2 —  Next Week’s Post:  As promised, I will share with you why you can trust in the process…..even, and especially if you are an average girl like me.

— 3 —    Not Alone Series:  Last Week’s Topic was Travel!  A very timely topic considering I was on travel for work in San Diego last week.  Oh, San Diego, with your beautiful weather, thank you!

— 4 —    Not Alone Series:  This Week’s Topic was Dating Fast!  Best quotes:

Ok, Lord, I’m not looking for him…just do whatever you want…. *peeking* …ok, really, just bring him whenever you want…”  Morgan

and this:

” I have seen girls often think, especially because of that typical story I talked about earlier of girl declares dating fasts, boy pursues, girl gets boy at end of year, ladies think that a dating fast is part of the secret formula to dating.  “If only I go on a dating fast than Mr. Future Husband will enter into my life with a dozen roses and a devotion to St. Joseph. ”  Don’t fall into that trap.  Whether you go on a dating fast or not, the Lord’s will still needs to be done in your dating and vocational life.  Don’t ever forget that, it is always His will.”  Natalie

— 5 —   A Message For You:  God speaks words designed especially for us:

“God solicits each of us by a dialogue no other soul can hear. His action on the soul is always for us alone. He sends no circular letters, uses no party lines. He calls His sheep by name; He leaves the 99 that are safe to find the one that is lost. Once the soul becomes conscious of the Divine Presence it whispers to itself: this is a message sent to me and to no one else. Archbishop Fulton Sheen (Lift up Your Heart)

— 6 —    Spotlight On:  This week’s spotlight is on George Weigel for his article, No Fighting God.

“…Job, I came to see, is the model of what an Italian biblical scholar has called “the believer who loves the true God in himself and for himself, without ulterior motives”—and does so precisely along the dark path of suffering. It is Job, sitting amidst misery, who rejects his friends’ calculating, facile suggestions about why bad things happen to good people. It is Job who, in the end, refuses to cram the divine will and purpose onto the procrustean bed of human wisdom. It is Job who, finally, lets God be God—and who, by admitting that he is not the artisan of his own existence, makes a deeper act of faith in the God whose divine “logic” in beyond anything human minds can grasp….”

  7 —   My Healing:  If you read my last 7QTs, I revealed that I had been sick. I had what was in hindsight, a virus.  But, before that determination, the diagnoses could have been all kinds of scary things.  Without going into too much detail, I was in so much pain that I visited our Parish priest for Confession, followed by my first reception of the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick.  My main goal was to receive peace, but I knew that if I was going to be healed, I had to go to the Divine Healer.  I did receive the gift of Peace immediately and within 2 days, was completely healed.  I now have compassion on those suffering with Chronic pain, especially in their joints.  I now have an awareness of my lack of pain whenever I lift something, move my wrists or climb stairs.  It is one of those ‘new lease on life/my life is now Yours, Lord’ experiences that can only be described as a gift from on high.  Praise be to God.

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain’t the Lyceum !