Give Him 3 Dates

Scenario:  You go out with a guy, you both enjoy the date and he says he would like to go out again.  But, you are not sure if you are feeling a spark or not.  Should you go out with him again?

My recommendation would be to go on the 2nd date and see if your feelings change.  I would even recommend a 3rd date just to be sure. Sort of like the 3-date rule but this time you are giving the guy a chance to grow on you.


After 3 dates, then you can tell him “I am sorry but although I was hoping for a spark,  I am just not feeling one.  Thank you for the fun and thoughtful dates.”

The Wrist Twister

I have been in that situation before and it was always uncomfortable.  And sadly, I think the guys could tell that it was somewhat forced.  But, I still was glad that I gave them a chance.  Those dates were all part of the process.  They helped me to assess what was important to me and what I was attracted to.

This one guy comes to mind.  He was Catholic, nice, employed and a homeowner.  Check, check, check and check.  But, I did not feel emotionally, spiritually, intellectually or physically attracted to him.  He was attractive, but I was not attracted to him.

I remember him because the poor soul would do this weird thing when he held my hand.  He would insist on his hand being in the back rather than allowing my hand to fit nicely into his hand. My hand and wrist would start to hurt and it made me feel like I was in the masculine role rather than the feminine role. It would sort of make me cringe.   It made me wonder if he understood his role….you know…in general.  Anyway….

Sexual Attraction

You may be wondering if I think sexual attraction is important.  Yes, yes I do!  In fact, I wrote about it in this post!

Now, it may seem like I am saying one thing in that post and telling you something else in today’s post. In the Sexual Attraction post, my point is that a guy can grow on you over time.  In addition, God heals our sight so that we can recognize our Holy Spouse.

In today’s post, I am suggesting that you give it 3 dates to allow for God to move if He chooses.  You can always say to God, “I gave this guy a chance. No spark.”  You remove any feelings of doubt and when the enemy tries to tell you that you are too picky, his words will not have any power over you.  You can rest assured that you are participating in the process.

Part Of The Process

These dates with these non-sparking guys are all part of the process.  They will help you form your assessment of what you need in a husband. And, you will learn something about yourself.  For me, all those non-sparking guys made me appreciate Gregg all the more.  Remember that God put these guys in your life for a reason.  So let’s see what He does!

It is just 3 dates.  Trust in the process.  Trust in the Lord.

God love and bless you!

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6 thoughts on “Give Him 3 Dates

  1. Thank you! This relates to my question. I’ve gone out twice with a guy and am not feeling a spark. I’m “afraid” if I go out with him a third time he’ll be expecting a kiss, and I’m not ready. Since I’ve waited this long (I’m 34), I insist my first be with someone I like. Otherwise I don’t mind seeing him again. Is this reasonable? And can I be frank with him about this, or is that taboo? Thanks.

  2. “Those dates were all part of the process.” Wow. Yes. I’ve been married for 26 years, and I swear my whole life from birth to wedding was a process of preparing to marry a particular woman, meeting her, asking her out 11 years later, hitting it off and getting married 6 months after that.

  3. I am so glad that I follow the same principles! I always gave any guy a chance when asked for a first date unless I saw a serious reason not to. When I went on a first date with this one guy who I met on Catholic Match, there was no spark at all. But I agreed to go out with him a second time and we had a blast! And then a 3rd time, 4th, 5th, and so on! We have now been married for 2 years and have 3 beautiful children (twins in heaven and an 8-month-old). Definitely give God and the guy a chance. It’s so worth it.

  4. Pingback: 7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 77 | The Veil of Chastity

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