In my last post, I shared that it is unwise to chase men. And, that if you find yourself doing the chasing, you should:
- Stop sleeping with him.
- Stop chasing him.
- Stop thinking your expectations for being chased are too high.
- Stop responding to lame and inconsistent initiation from him.
Today I will address #1: Stop sleeping with him. There are so many reasons for this critical step. Here are two:
- The sex is putting you at a disadvantage
- You are sabotaging your future happiness
The Sex is Putting You at a Disadvantage
I wish I could come up with a clever way to explain this. I wish I had a convincing way to share with you your beauty and dignity and how sex outside of marriage robs you of both. But, I have tried all week and I haven’t been able to do either. So, I will just give you the truth without the spoonful of sugar.
Like it or not, sex is a ‘power’ thing. Blah, blah, blah about women’s liberation and the belief that men don’t view sex as a power thing. They do. Most men view women as the gatekeepers and the one with the power when it comes to sex. Women who don’t acknowledge this are putting themselves at a disadvantage.
Blah, blah, blah that we women can have freewheeling sex outside of marriage and not be affected. Some can. But those are not the ones who I am trying to reach. Those women, God bless them, are already beyond my reach with just this little blog.
Instead, I am trying to reach those of you who have ears to hear. I am trying to reach those of you who are not so hardened and deceived and instead are sincerely wondering why you are not being chased by the man you are having sex with.
I want you to know that Chastity is a powerful virtue. It empowers you. Now, with power comes great responsibility. This power, like all power, is not to be misused or wasted. It is instead to be carefully harnessed, treated with reverence and applied for the good.
You possess something powerful and deep! When you put a low value (price) on something and when you treat something powerful and deep as if it is casual and superficial, you put yourself at a disadvantage.
By having sex outside of marriage, you fail to guard your sexual powers. This power is being wasted and this is putting you at a disadvantage. And, because you are at a disadvantage, you are not the one being chased but instead are being tempted to do the chasing. Men don’t chase something they don’t value and they don’t chase something they already possess, especially if they have come to possess it at such a low cost. Ouch.
You Are Sabotaging Your Future Happiness
Sex outside of marriage negatively affects your future happiness in many ways but I will focus on two of them.
- Perpetual dating
- Lack of Superabundance
I see it over and over again. Sex before marriage leads to perpetual dating. The guy has found someone who will give him sex without commitment and marriage. And, he thinks the girl is fine with it because women these days act as if it is fine even if they don’t really think it is fine at all. This can go on for years.
Sometimes, the couple gets engaged after the guy is coerced by the girl or after the girl finds herself pregnant. And, oftentimes the engagement is just the next baby step within the perpetual dating dance rather than what it is supposed to be…… a short phase for setting a wedding date and planning a holy wedding.
Chastity, on the other hand, either propels the relationship forward or stalls it. Chastity is a built in-filter that eliminates the possibility of perpetual dating. If the guy is not serious about a future with you, he will bolt when he hears there is no sex in it for him. This is a good thing; a type of built-in filter. Again, it may feel like rejection, but it is really protection! The guy is actually doing the more noble thing by ditching you. Let him go devastate someone else.
Data that I have gathered over the years reveals that couples who practice Chastity get married sooner. They are happier and more stable. Check out this video of this beautiful holy wedding! Yes, my sweet girls, this is possible no matter what is in your past. Your beautiful commitment to Chastity can start now!
Lack of Superabundance
Chastity leads to good fruit or Superabundance which I describe here. Sex outside of marriage sabotages your future happiness by cutting off your access to Superabundance. Without Superabundance, your love diminishes rather than grows. Sex outside of marriage acts as a repellent to love. He stops chasing you and you begin to be tempted to chase him. This negatively affects your future happiness. It is that simple.
Keep in mind that you are covered by a veil. The purpose of the veil is to hide you from every possible suitor except for the one that God intends for you to marry. The veil is there for your protection! Sex outside of marriage cuts you off from that protection, cuts off your access to Superabundance and instead leaves you vulnerable and powerless.
In my next post I will share the reasons why you should stop chasing him. But, you will not be able to stop chasing him until you stop having sex with him.