This Week’s Post

I am sorry that I have not posted anything this week.  I am fine but life is pretty crazy as we get back to work and school.  By the time we get home, chores are done and the homework is done, I am done.  The only thing I have been able to do is respond to your emails, which I have made a priority.  I am also reading Jason and Crystalina Evert’s book, “How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul.”  So far, it is really good!!

Thank you for your understanding!  Your remain in my prayers.

God love and bless you!  Cindy

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! 

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 106

 

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— 1 —  Last Week’s Post:    I Wished I Was Different  I hope this encouraged you to not compare yourself to other girls.  You will be loved for how God made you.

— 2 —  My Talk:  Well, the talk I was supposed to give tonight was cancelled…well postponed. I have learned to go with the flow of God’s will on things like this.  The girl who was hosting it was overwhelmed with life.  She has a new baby ~ her 9th I think and they run a farm so it is understandable!  It was a good opportunity for me to get my ‘in person’ thoughts down on paper.  I have never given a talk before and was struggling with where to begin.  The awesome thing about the blog is that I can post once a week and let the Holy Spirit lead.  And, I can respond to your specific needs when you email me.  But, to have a group of girls of unknown various ages with unknown needs when it comes to information about love and marriage….it was tough to know where to begin.  Which leads me to Quick Take #3….

— 3 —Next Week’s Post:  I plan to share what I came up with for the talk in a post.  I will pretend like you are sitting in my friend’s living room and I am giving my talk.  What will be missing is the interaction I hope to have.  Most of it will look familiar to you if you have been following the blog for a while. Hopefully, there will be a nugget or two of wisdom for you to take away.

— 4 — Blog Stats:  Wordpress sent my “2014 Year In Blogging” Annual Report.  Over 146,000 visit to the site from readers living in 171 Countries.    I am amazed!

  • Through email, I have met girls from all over the US.  But what a privilege to know girls from other Countries including Belgium, Ethiopia, London, Croatia, South Africa, Bermuda, Beirut Lebanon, Kenya, India, Poland, Philippines, Sweden, Australia, Italy and Turkey!
  • This year, I met Jen in person!
  • My Divine Mercy Chaplet prayer list has over 250 names listed.  When I pray, I have the CD playing the chaplet in the background as I say each of your names out loud.
  • Shout out to all the girls at the University of Dallas for the following that seems to have sprouted there this year
  • Many thanks to The NAS girls under the inspiration of Jen and Morgan
  • Finally, thank you to the girls from Argentina who translate my blog posts into Spanish over at A ti te lo digo!

Countries

— 5 —  7 Quick Takes in 2015:  I decided I will be posting my 7QTs every other week in 2015. I am not sure the 7QTs adds much other than readership.  When I thought about it, readership is not really my goal. My goal is to be faithful to the Lord in this ministry and to be a source of hope and support for single girls.  I think that can be met via the weekly posts. I am also sensing the pressure to be more available to the Lord in some other way.  Specifically, I hope to be more available to you girls via email…..while still carrying out my duties as a wife and mom, daughter, sister, friend and employee.  I carry around a feeling of constant failure in each of those duty areas and I need to get to the root of it in 2015, starting with how I spend my free time.

— 6 —   Alice von Hildebrand:  She and John Henry Crosby wrote a book about Alice’s late husband, Dietrich. It is called My Battle With Hitler.  Much of my Veil theory is based on my reading Dietrich von Hildebrand and the whole Superabundance thing is really his term, not mine.  I put my own spin on it which is *not endorsed* by anyone associated with the Hildebrands.

 But!  I was very excited to receive a book signed by John Henry Crosby!  He sent it to me to thank me for being on the Launch Team.  Also, they are following me on Twitter! This is very exciting for me.  Gregg plans on reading the book and then I hope to convince him to do a post with his review.  You can follow the Hildebrand Project and John Henry Crosby Here and Here..  

  7 —   Bible Study: Our bible study started up again last night after a 2 month break. It was so good!  We are doing the Symbolon series.  Great stuff!  Also, our group is starting an evangelistic outreach once a month called Theology Over Dinner.  It is held at a mom and pop restaurant owned by Catholics.  We are all very excited about the potential to reach folks with the truth of Jesus and of the Catholic faith!

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain’t the Lyceum !

Blessed New Year!

Hi Sweet Girls!

I have been busy working on the talk I am giving on Friday and unfortunately do not have a post for this week.  But, I want to thank you for your comments and emails to me as this has helped me formulate my talk and relate to them better.  I feel equipped to reach the hearts of whomever the Lord sends on Friday. Please pray for me and for those lovely girls.

There were many New Years Eve nights that I spent surrounded by friends…..but still on my own.  I want to encourage you that life can change on a dime and that your Father in heaven holds you close to His Divine and merciful heart in these tough times.  He has a plan.  Tell Him you love Him and that you trust Him and His plan.  If you are having trouble trusting, tell Him so He can flood you with His love and build your faith and trust.

  “I do believe; help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24

3 Principles

One of my favorite books is The Joy of Full Surrender by Jean-Pierre DeCaussade which is also called Abandonment to Divine Providence.  Three principles outlined in the book always help build up my faith and trust: 

First principle: “Nothing is done, nothing happens, either in the material or in the moral world, that God has not foreseen from all eternity, and that he has not willed, or at least permitted.” 

Second principle: “God can will nothing, he can permit nothing, but in view of the end he proposed to himself in creating the world; that is, in view of his glory and the glory of Jesus Christ, his only Son.” 

Third principle: “As long as human beings live upon earth, God desires to be glorified through the happiness of these privileged creatures; and consequently in God’s designs the interest of making human beings holy and happy is inseparable from the interest of the divine glory.”

I will not be doing 7QTs on Friday the 2nd but will be back to my normal posting schedule in the New Year.

God love and bless you!  Cindy

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! 

I Wished I Were Different

As Christmas approaches, I am compelled to encourage you about how God made you.  I have a story in my book which demonstrates how I struggled in my singleness and at times wished I was more like other girls instead of how God made me.

As I have shared before, every single guy that I dated went on to marry the very next girl that he dated.  Maybe what I haven’t explained is how different from me these girls were.  They looked different from me and they had different strengths, features, careers and personalities than me.  It really exaggerated my belief that I somehow needed to be different in order to be loved.

I am sharing this story about Sam with you because I felt that way even when I didn’t have strong feelings for the guy.  I would end up thinking that even the guys who I feel lukewarm about are passing me over for girls who are different from me.  Here is the story: 

Sam

Right before I met Gregg, I dated this guy whom I met through Catholic on-line dating.  Sam was from a large Catholic family but did not seem to embrace his faith in a way that was obvious to me.

He seemed interested in me but I could tell that he was not really my type.  He met most of my hopeful criteria in that he was Catholic, did not crush my heart, was not a smoker and he wanted children. He was also physically nice looking and he was gainfully employed. What is not to like, right?

There wasn’t anything overtly wrong with him other than our conversation seemed so flat and I did not feel like I was being wooed.  So I continued to date him in case my heart changed toward him. You know how it is when you are in the am-I-expecting-too-much phase?

The chastity thing was fine with him but in all other ways he seemed sort of lazy in the area of wooing a girl. He emailed me (this was before texting) to ask me out on dates. Sigh. Sam lived about an hour away from where I lived. The hour-long drive to my house seemed like a hassle to him.  Of course he was not invited to spend the night so he had to drive an hour home after our dates.  For the ‘give it to me now’ world, this was asking a lot. I was an inconvenient date.  But, he endured the drive, usually only on weekends and this went on for about 4 months.

The Housewarming Party

He was always inviting me to his rural neck of the woods for dates and I would always sweetly decline.  I was a single girl and I was not willing to drive home from his house late at night.  I cared about my safety and believed he should have cared too.  But, today chivalry is tough to come by.  And, chivalry is a characteristic marked by humility, patience and vigor. A man cannot be lazy and chivalrous at the same time.

So, I would sweetly decline his offers for dates in his neck of the woods.  But, then he had a house-warming party.  This was an opportunity for me to meet his brothers and sisters and for them to meet me.  So, I accepted the invitation and drove to Sam’s house for the party.

Do You Like Camping?

At one point, his sister-in-law says to me Do you like camping?”  I sweetly and honestly said with a smile, “No, not really.  I am a big wet blanket when it comes to roughing it in the great outdoors.” She gave her disapproval by her silence. I was trying to be light-hearted in response to a question that made me feel uncomfortable.  Her response, or lack of response, was also uncomfortable.

She Likes Camping

I drove home that night and felt pretty lukewarm about him.  He called me soon after that night to say his sister-in-law (the same one) wanted to set him up with a friend of hers.  This friend of hers is a teacher and likes camping.  So, he confessed to me that he was going to give her a try.  I never heard from him again but I know through a common friend that he married the outdoorsy teacher.

She Had A Heart

I obviously did not have strong feelings for Sam and kudos to him for being up front and honest.  But, you can imagine how this made me feel. Was I being rejected because I did not like to go camping?

And, the big stab to my ego is I was replaced by a teacher!  It seems that all my exes (I am not exaggerating) went on to marry nurses and teachers.  You know, girls with soft hearts, patience and compassion who are just the opposite of me (a cold, calculating engineer).

So, I felt I just was not the right type of girl and these were the times I wished I were different.

The Veil

Sam definitely saw something in me that he liked.  It was like he was straining to see me and then decided I was not the girl for him.  Now I see it was The Veil. And, once you are loved for who you are, all those terrible feelings about yourself fade away.

So Many Things I Am Not

I could go on and on about the ways in which Gregg could have rejected me.  I don’t like to camp and I don’t like to go to concerts, NASCAR or much else.  I don’t have any hobbies.  I don’t like to shop.  I don’t like to spend money.  I have weird eating habits and have some little itty bitty control issues.

Gregg sees all that but it does not prevent him from loving me.  Those things are overlooked and instead he sees the things that he does love about me.  I believe this is a result of Superabundance.

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No Doubt

Have you ever been rejected and replaced by a girl who was so very different from you that it made you doubt yourself?  If so, I hope to encourage you and help you understand that your uniqueness is exactly what will endear you to the right man.

Stay close to the Lord so He can lead you, heal you and comfort you in your time of anticipation and waiting. Trust Him.

Merry Christmas my sweet girls.

God Love and Bless you!

p.s. I will be off-line for Christmas and will not be posting 7QTs on the 26th.  I will catch up on email on the 27th!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! 

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 105

 

 

— 1 —  This Week’s Post:    From “Something is Wrong With Me” to “I’m Engaged!”  What a wonderful encouragement for us all that ‘in a New York minute’ everything can change.

— 2 —  No other QTs today.  I had a stressful and busy (but fun!) week and today I had to catch up on wrapping presents and such. But, I am off work for the next 2 weeks! 🙂

— 3 — I remain available to you via email so please feel free to reach out to me:  theveilofchastity@gmail.com

— 4 —  Please know that I try to respond as soon as possible.  Gregg and I (and our 9-year-old) share our 1 computer (No iPad for us due to my continuing goal to become a minimalist) so I can’t always get on to respond right away.  

— 5 —  As a side note, when I am at work, I cannot respond at all.

— 6 —   Thank you for understanding!

  7 —  You remain in my prayers!

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain’t the Lyceum !

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 104

— 1 —  This Week’s Post:    You Don’t Have To Be An Open Book!

— 2 —  Next Week’s Post:  Hmmmmm….

— 3 —  Not Alone Series:   The girls are on a break until January.  I will miss them!

— 4 —   Spotlight On:  Have you heard of The Nika Gals, Emmy and Rosy?  And how about those beautiful names, Emmy and Rosy?  Also, you must go read about them and the meaning behind the name, Nika.  I was introduced to them via their post called The List.  You can follow them on Facebook here!

— 5 —  Healing Mass:  I went to a Healing Mass last night.  Boy was I ready!  I was filled with so much HOPE after receiving Jesus in the Eucharist and then being prayed over.  The laying on of hands.  The cross made on my forehead by the holy hands of the priest.  It was exactly what this girl needed.  I did not get to go to confession because there was a person in the confessional…..almost…the…whole…time (I don’t think the priest knew that we were all waiting).  When I came home and told this to Gregg, our son said with sadness, “Boy that person must have felt really terrible about their sins.”  I just love it when I encounter these marathon confessions.  It means that the Sacrament is being taken seriously by both the priest and the human soul in the confessional.  It means that the soul is being brought back home and that some major healing is going on.

— 6 —    Healing During Advent:  After going to the healing Mass, I realized that I am in need of so much change.  What you ask? Ha!  Where to start is a better question. I want to become a patient and kind, organized Minimalist.  I want to rid myself of my attachments.  I want to be free so that I can glorify God by my life. Gregg always gets concerned when I start speaking this way.  ha ha. Pray for me please, that I will be gracious and kind in my pursuit of becoming gracious and kind.

“Contentment is acquired through great resolution & diligence in conquering unruly desires; hence it is an art which few study “

  7 — Emotional Virtue/Sarah Swafford:  I have decided the talk I mentioned last week which I will be giving to girls on January 2nd will be about Emotional Virtue (ala Sarah Swafford).    You can pre-order her book, Emotional Virtue: A Guide to Drama-Free Relationships, here! I ordered 36 books because when you order in bulk they are only $2 each! Maybe I will have a give-away contest in January when they arrive. 🙂

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain’t the Lyceum !

You Don’t Have To Be An Open Book

Being an honest person is not the same as being an open book.  I have a couple of examples:

Cycle Problems

I was emailing with a sweet girl this week who has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  She told me that she shares this information up front with the guys she dates because she feels that it is only fair to them that they know she will have trouble conceiving.

I advised her against this for a couple of reasons.  First, no one is guaranteed that they will have children.  Second, she is not her fertility.  She is a person with many attributes and gifts and her value is not based on her ability to bear children.

I recommend that she allow a man to fall in love with her ~ the whole person~ rather than dissect out one attribute (her fertility) as being some sort of fault.  I think it would be distracting to the man and she could be sabotaging her chances at love.

I had two miscarriages when Gregg and I were first married.  I never felt that this negatively impacted his love for me. In fact, that suffering we both experienced strengthened our love. Did we want children?  Yes!  Very much.  But, we had to understand that children were not a right.  It humbled us.  We realized that were just happy to have each other.

I am not suggesting that she lie about it.  I am suggesting that she does not know the end of the story.  She may believe she will have trouble conceiving and carry a baby to term but how can one know this in advance?  Truly with God, all things are possible.  In the same vein, how does the guy know for sure that he will be fertile in the marriage?  No one knows this in advance.

I believe that if a man loves a girl, he will love her just as much (maybe even more) upon finding (after trying and exhausting all avenues) she is unable to conceive his child.  I have lived it.

Dating History

You do not need to reveal your dating history to anyone.  If you have dated zero or 50, it is no one’s business.  A gentleman would not ask nor insist upon this information.

Sexual History

Oh ditto!  A gentleman would never ask this.  If he does, you can reply by saying “I am not sure it should matter one way or another.”  Then smile sweetly and confidently.

What if you have an STD? Because this has the potential to affect his health then I suggest you share this but only after things are serious.  And by serious, I mean a proposal.  Then, at that point, you have the conversation that goes something like this: I understand if this is something that you feel afraid of and I understand if you are not willing to walk this road with me.”

The reason why I think you wait until the proposal is because it is somewhat presumptuous of you to bring it up any sooner than that.  I mean, what do you say?  “If you are thinking of marrying me..”  “If we get married..”

None of this should bring you shame.  There is so much more to you than your sexual history or potential.  Either way, whatever you say, smile sweetly and confidently.

confidence

Confidence

Often the need to share too much is fed by our insecurities.  Be that confident girl and not the girl who needs to justify or explain herself.

Feel free to write to me if I can help you navigate through any of this.  theveilofchastity@gmail.com

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! 

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 103

— 1 —  This Week’s Post:    Guest Post ~  Praying Through The Clouds  Thank you to Anjelina!

— 2 —  Next Week’s Post:  Hmmmmm….

— 3 —  Not Alone Series:   This week’s NAS topic was Preparing The Way!  I have not read any of the NAS girl’s posts yet but I will this weekend.  I skimmed over Jen’s post and now I can’t wait to read it in full along with the others!

— 4 —   Spotlight On: Esther Rich wrote a great article on The Chastity Project blog called I Didn’t Wait And Wish I Did: An open response to Samantha Pugsley.  Again, I am in ‘skim’ mode but it looks like Esther did a great job of clearing up misconceptions about marital chastity.  If you remember, Esther provided a guest post here!   Nice job Esther!

— 5 —  The Humanum Series:  Do you remember me including the Humanum Series in my 7QTs last time?  May I recommend the site which has all 6 videos?  You can find them Here.  It is wonderful!  Be sure to scroll down the page to see all the videos.

— 6 —    Marrying Your Best Friend:  This Article was great! 

  7 — Giving A Talk:  I have been invited to talk to a group of girls between the ages of 19 and 24 years old and the topic is: Marriage.  I have been told that some of these girls are experiencing temptation to try to make it happen at any cost.   The talk is on Friday night January 2, 2015.  Will you please pray for me and these girls?  What would be the most helpful thing I can share with these girls?  I would love to hear from you! @ theveilofchastity@gmail.com

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Guest Post ~ Praying Through The Clouds

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“I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world. God, whom I serve with my whole heart in preaching the gospel of his Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you in my prayers at all times.” Rom. 1:8-12

I have been praying for Anjelina for over a year.  I added her to my prayer list after she commented on a post in August 2013.  To my great delight, she recently wrote to me and this gave me the ability to add more depth to the name written on the page of my Divine Mercy Chaplet prayer list.  Little did we both know of the timing of that note.

She has a wonderful meditation for all of us about disappointment and sorrow, hope and healing. 

Anjelina recently started her own blog and you can read more about her at Random Ramblings.  Thank you, Anjelina and I look forward to reading more from you! 

 ———————————————–

“Sometimes things happen in our lives that tear us apart inside, but
if we don’t learn to look past them and see the sun shining above the
clouds, we will forever be standing in the rain.
-Unknown

Hi readers,
First of all am I thankful for the opportunity to be a guest blogger. I’ve really prayed about this post and will write what comes to mind.

My name is Anjelina. I’m not sure who to attribute this wise quote to, but these words are related to my post. Whether it was a break-up, a loss of a loved one or rejection from a job you really wanted, we’ve all experienced that painful feeling of loneliness and sadness.

Nearly two years ago I went through a painful break-up and still am recovering from the hurt. Thankfully the author of our lives along with the help of our Blessed Mother have been working in my life in amazing ways. I’d like you to know even at your lowest God is always with you; He can love us like no other.

A few days ago I felt the strong urge to e-mail The Veil for prayers. I knew I was struggling with my singleness and doing God’s will, but I didn’t fully understand why I wrote about needing prayers. No more than ten minutes later I found out through Facebook my former date was in a new relationship. Now, you might say, ouchies that hurts. Well, you’d be right. The hurt resurfaced and I felt all those emotions all over again.

Here is where God comes into play. I knew someone was praying for me right then which gave me strength. If it weren’t for discovering the news, I wouldn’t be writing this post or have been moved to begin blogging about my life experiences. I truly believe God knows when to reveal things to us because He writes the best stories and knows when we can handle it.

I’m still human and at times feel those raw emotions, however knowing I have a community of prayerful ladies who support each other is comforting.  I have gained strength through the rosary and friends. I’m learning when I don’t want to pray the rosary is the best time to do so. Reflecting on the mysteries is like a refreshing drink of cold water. My mind is refocused and I am ready to take on another day.

I pray this entry has helped someone who may be hurting or feels far from God. Come to Him and he will heal your heart and bring you peace. Know you are in my prayers.

Anjelina

—————————

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! 

Thankful For You

Hello dear readers!

I am taking a break from blogging this week but I want to pass on to you my deepest gratitude for how much each and every one of you inspire me.  What a privilege it is when you write and share your hearts with me!

As we enter the holidays, Thanksgiving, Advent and Christmas, know that you are not alone. But I know this is a very difficult time of the year and that you may feel alone.

The following quote from Maura from Made in His Image sums it up perfectly:

“To the girl who is doubting everything about herself this night – dry your tears sweetheart. You are so beautiful, even in your brokenness. And your wounds are perfect for the man that is meant to love you forever. You are so enough, precious and lovable. #youareenough”  Maura Byrne ~ Made In His Image

Stay encouraged!  I would love to pray for you and add your name to my Divine Mercy Chaplet prayer list. Write to me anytime @ theveilofchastity@gmail.com

If the Lord moves you to do so, please think about supporting Maura.  She has a gofundme campaign which can be found Here.  I have met Maura (I sponsored her when she came to my church). Believe me when I tell you that she is an angel!

Here is a message from her:

 

Thankful for each of you.  God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!