What To Do When He Stalls

A couple of weeks ago, I dealt with the topic of texting and what to do if the guy uses texting as the main mode of communication.  Remember, texting can be considered a half-hearted lob and therefore you should not treat it as if it is an effort-filled initiation that you can respond to and return. If anything, you can reply with a smiley face. I recommended that you keep all texts short and sweet.  Also, do not get in the practice of holding conversations via text.  If, after a while, the guy does not move things to phone calls and in-person dates, I would respond to his text with this:

“It is difficult to feel a spark via text. Just not my preference. ;)”

A similar response to email can be:

“Email is not my preference.  Would you like to call me?”

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Credit: Not me

Stalling

Sometimes a guy will text or email because there is something keeping him from moving things to the next level.  This can happen in the online dating world as well as in person.  The guy presents vague intentions of asking you out but never directly does so.  He acts interested but he is also stalling.  What should you do?

Avoid Being The Buddy

If you are feeling frustrated with all the texting, emailing and stalling, then it is perfectly okay for you to put the guy on the spot.  You have nothing to lose.  In fact, doing this sooner rather than later is wise because if you don’t, then you run the risk of turning into his texting/email buddy.  You will just be someone to make him feel like he has female attention while he waits for the girl who truly inspires him to dates.  That is the worst feeling!

Put Him On The Spot

Usually, after a couple of emails or text, the guy knows if he wants to initiate a romantic relationship with you.  Meeting in person is the next logical step.  So, putting him on the spot forces him to make that decision.

Here is a suggestion for putting him on the spot when he presents these vague intentions of asking you out.  Let’s say he says, “Do you want to go out sometime?” or What do you have going on this weekend?”  You could say, What did you have in mind?”

Then, if he responds with an idea without a specific date, time and place, then you can respond with, When did you have in mind?”

Your text/email conversation would look like this: 

Him:  “Do you want to go out sometime?”

You:  “I would love to.  What did you have in mind?”

Him:  “I was thinking that checking out the new Mexican restaurant would be fun.”

You:  “That does sound fun!  When did you have in mind?”

Him:  “How about Friday evening?”

You:  “Yes, that works for me.  Please give me a call and let me know what time and other details. 🙂  Looking forward to hearing from you, Your Name, Your Number XXX-XXX-XXXX”

Practice

I recommend you practice these put-him-on-the-spot responses because they can also be used over the phone and in person:

What did you have in mind?”  and When did you have in mind?”

3-Date Rule

This week has been especially filled with emails from girls who are in fantasy relationships.  With good reason, these girls believe to be in a relationship.  The guy is texting them and emailing them.  Sometimes they even call.  These guys are paying attention to them and showing interest.  But, they are not asking the girls out.  Understandably, the girls have their hopes up!

The recommendation above about putting him on the spot is one way to combat the mystery of whether the guy is interested or not.  Another way is by practicing the 3 date rule.  Until a guy has taken you on 3 dates (where he initiates, pays and shows romantic interest), then he has not earned a right to take up so much of your thought life.  As a refresher, here is the 3-date rule post.

I Love Your Emails

Although I write as if things should always be straightforward, I know that they are not.  If you are dealing with a guy who is stalling, feel free to write to me and we can discuss how to proceed.

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

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