7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 98

— 1 —  This Week’s Post:  Fear!  Wow! I received a lot of feedback on this post so it appears that fear is a factor for many of us. Next week I will continue the post from last week and expand on a number of concepts including healing and trust.

— 2 —  Big Week:  Sunday the 19th was our 12th Wedding Anniversary. But! It was also the day that Pope Paul VI joined the ranks of the Blessed.  Blessed Pope Paul VI.  Music to my ears.  Love him.  Have you seen my post about him from 2 years ago?  See #5!

— 3 —  Not Alone Series:   This week’s NAS topic was Let’s Talk About Sex!   All the girls had great things to say about this wonderful topic, including what appears to be a new participant, Meg.  This was my favorite part of Meg’s post:

“And though not every sexual relationship leads to such unfortunate (and sometimes nightmarish) aftermaths, I’ve seen these situations arise often enough to recognize a pattern ~ and so having sex outside of a marriage is a bit of a crapshoot for a woman. 

What’s absent from all these scenarios above is any sense that a woman would be pursued by a man or set on a pedestal.  And I don’t think that it’s unrelated to the sexual nature of these relationships.” 

— 4 — Spotlight On:  This week’s spotlight is a double spotlight.  First, Laura from Life Is Beautiful for her guest interview over at Triple Braided Life.  Loved this:

“God is so good in the way He transforms us and molds us over the years as we learn to surrender to Him and His amazing love. I feel like I struggled more with being single in my early twenties than I do now. I think it was the control freak in me—I had planned on getting married in that time and it just didn’t happen (despite lots of dates and even a broken engagement). As I learned to let go of my perfectionism and instead grow in intimacy with a perfect God, I found more peace, more trust, more contentment in the present moment as well as with His timing for the future.”

Spotlight #2 is on Joan from Everything Is Yours for her meditation on the Feast day of St. John Paul II over at Blessed Is She.  Great job, Joan and Laura!

— 5 —   The Courage of Pope Paul VI:  Did you see Jen Fulwiler’s post about how the courage of Pope Paul VI led her to the Catholic Church?  Oh yes, it was Humanae Vitae! See #2. 

— 6 —   Ephesians 2:15:  Did you notice the reading from Ephesians this week? Do you ever feel divided within yourself and hostile?  Check out how Christ makes us one and through this harmony, comes peace:

“For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken
down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law
of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in
himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might
reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby
killing the hostility.”

  7 —  Receive:    Did you see Audrey Assad’s new YouTube of her song Receive?  First, read the lyrics, then enjoy her beautiful voice.  

Holy Wisdom, God in Heaven
Here in human time
Humble Godhead bending low and
Touching bread and wine.

Faith is making plain the truth beneath the veil
Faith supplying where our feeble sense fail

It is God who we encounter,
It is God that we receive
From this altar we do believe

Jesus by Your hand you feed us
Your own life and bread
Jesus risen, Savior lead us
Out of sin and death

Word of God in flesh and blood, we’re here for You
Bread of life, the love of God, our heav’nly food

 

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Fear

But even when I am afraid, I keep on trusting you. | Psalm 56:3

 I believe the Holy Spirit has been leading me to write this post about Fear for a while. I was holding back because I don’t want to admit how much Fear played a role in my life.  But, when the Holy Spirit wants something, He lets us know and it makes it awful hard to avoid His gentle promptings.

I was at Mass on Friday and as I mentioned in my 7QTs, it was the feast day of St. Ignatius of Antioch.  Our priest, Father Ray, based his whole homily on fighting Fear and how St. Ignatius of Antioch is our model in doing so.  As you may know, he was martyred for his Catholic Faith in the year 107AD. He was empowered with such courage because of the grace he received from Jesus in the Eucharist.  He, like all Christians of his day, knew the Eucharist is the body and blood of Jesus.  He died, rather than renounce this truth.  Now, that is a man with Fortitude!  

Fortitude

Back in the late 90’s, I belonged to an on-line group of girls called the WUMTHS (Waiting Until Marriage To Have Sex).  My code name in the group was Fortitude.  Not because I had so much fortitude but because I wanted to have it.

You see, I knew that Fear was an issue for me.  Sure, I was afraid of never getting married but for me, the fear I experienced had more to do with getting married.

Yes, I was afraid to get married.

Psalm 56

Paralyzed By Fear

I was emailing with a girl recently who is dating a nice catholic guy.  He has a job, interesting hobbies, friends, nice family, is cute and practices his faith for real.  So, what is the problem?  The problem is that she is not sure if she feels a spark or not.

As I have stated before, romantic love cannot be explained. It is mysterious and beautiful and confounding.  It cannot be manufactured.  However, as I was writing with this girl, I felt the Holy Spirit’s prompting in asking her about her fears.  Could her fears be keeping her from getting serious with this guy?

I do think our fears can paralyze us.  I felt that intense paralysis as a single girl.  I wanted to be married but I felt stuck because marriage requires so much intimacy and exposure.  I am not just talking about the marital embrace. I am talking about everything!

This dear girl responded saying that yes, she does struggle with fear and that she struggles with perfectionism.

Perfection

I understand the pressure to be perfect.  I was one of those girls who struggled with it and just could not imagine being loved with all my faults.  I believed that if I could just get rid of my faults, then I could get over my fears!

Humility

You have faults too.  Maybe you are not the best housekeeper.  Maybe your legs are not silky-smooth.  Maybe you have cellulite and hair all over your body.  Maybe your double chin becomes pronounced in your sleep.  Do you have strange eating habits? Maybe you are not always kind or positive.  Do these faults make you fearful of 24/7 intimacy with a man?  Do you believe you will be rejected once the faults are discovered (and they will be in marriage)?

Even with these faults, you can be loved by a man.  In fact, these ‘faults’ may be exactly what endears him to you.  These ‘faults’ give you that beautiful human dimension which will do two things.  First, they will calm down the fears your husband has about himself. Second, they will give you the daily dose of humility needed in marriage.

But what should this girl do?

To be continued…..

Next week I will continue this post.  In the meantime, will you ask yourself if your fears are keeping you paralyzed and keeping you from trusting God?  If so, let’s discuss some potential causes.   I will then share how the Lord healed me.

And of course you are welcome to email me at theveilofchastity@gmail.com

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 97

— 1 —  This Week’s Post:  It was A Refresher  about why it is not wise to respond to lame and inconsistent initiation.

— 2 —  Next Week’s Post:  I feel the Holy Spirit’s leading in a post about the topic of Fear.  Which has now been confirmed because today’s homily from Mass was about fighting fear with the grace from the Eucharist just like St. Ignatius of Antioch.  His feast day is today. He was martyred for his Catholic Faith in the year 107 and he, like all Christians of his day, knew the Eucharist is the body and blood of Jesus.  He died, rather than renounce this truth. Now, that is a man with Fortitude!  

— 3 —  Not Alone Series:   This week’s NAS topic was Modesty!  I loved what Morgan wrote about and agree wholeheartedly:

“But modest dress isn’t something I appreciate just for myself! No, I am so grateful when the people around me are dressed modestly. Many people would agree that “men are visual creatures”, but the truth is, we all have eyes and are all visually stimulated. I find it very difficult to concentrate while amidst all sorts of exposed body parts. I truly desire to know others on a deeper level, but find it challenging when bombarded with all sorts of skin. Shoot, I can’t imagine what it must be like for men!”

— 4 — Spotlight On:  This week’s spotlight is on a pregnant woman with nine children who has decided to forego cancer treatments until her baby is safely delivered.  Read the Father’s beautiful logic packed with courage and love:

“How could we end that life, a life of endless hope and possibility, in exchange for the mere chance of extending Donielle’s by a few years?” he said. “If we chose to abort the baby and sometime after Donielle passed away, both of their lives would be lost. We have all heard stories of cancer survivors who are miraculously cancer free. What if that happened for us – but we had aborted our child?”  Keith Wilde ~ father of baby #10

— 5 —  St. Ignatius of Antioch:  Let’s expand on this wonderful saint!  

**He first used the term Catholic to describe the universal christian church.

** In the year 107A.D., during the reign of the brutal Emperor Trajan, this holy Bishop was wrongfully sentenced to death because he refused to renounce the Christian faith. He was taken under guard to Rome where he was to be brutally devoured by wild beasts in a public spectacle.

** About the Eucharist:  “…join in union meeting in one faith, and in Jesus Christ, who was of the family of David according to the flesh, the Son of Man and the Son of God, so that you give ear to the bishop and to the presbytery with an undivided mind, breaking one Bread, which is the medicine of immortality, the antidote against death, enabling us to live forever in Jesus Christ.

St Ignatius of Antioch

 

— 6 —   Catholicism:  The New Evangelization:  Gregg and I are participating in this study with our Parish.  Give it a look!

  7 —  Happy Anniversary, Gregg!  This Sunday, October 19th, Gregg and I celebrate our 12th Wedding Anniversary. Very, very blessed are we.

October 19, 2002  Praise be to God!

October 19, 2002 Praise be to God!

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

A Refresher

Stats Posts

I wrote a post two years ago called “Stop Responding to Lame and Inconsistent Initiation” and out of the 128,000 hits to this blog to date, that post has the second highest number of hits.  The one with the most number of hits, besides the homepage, is Stop Chasing Him.

hot and cold faucets

I think the Stop Chasing Him post is good, but I actually think the one about lame and inconsistent initiation is better.  Why?  Because chasing can be sort of obvious but responding is such a gray area!  How to respond and even if to respond is the topic of many of my email exchanges with my readers.

Therefore, I am re-posting as a refresher. And, as always, I invite you to email me anytime @theveilofchastity@gmail.com

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 96

— 1 —  This Week’s Post:  Disordered Desires! This week I responded to a question about healthy and disordered desires. I pray it blessed you!

— 2 —  Not Alone Series:   This week’s NAS topic was Rosary and The Single Life!  Great topic with great posts! NAS had a new contributor, Lindsay from Lindsay Loves.  She is also from the same area of the country where I currently live so that was a nice surprise.

So, the Rosary. I am more of a Divine Mercy Chaplet kind of girl but recently have become a fan of the Rosary.  Our son’s 4th grade teacher assigned 8 Family Rosaries over the Summer.  We completed the 8 but then found that we missed doing it.  Most importantly, we realized that we were seeing real fruit as a result of those family rosaries.  So, we started them back up again.  We do one family rosary a week. I notice it is, at a minimum, teaching us all to sit still and be more patient.  :)

Bznn_RSCUAEE7GO

— 3 —   Great Are Thy Works:  Did you see the solar eclipse this week?  We stood outside and watched in amazement.  When I read the Responsorial Psalm this week, I thought about those that study these natural events and I hope they, as well, delight in the wonderous works of the Lord!

Great are the works of the Lord,
studied by all who delight in them.
Full of splendor and majesty is his work,
and his righteousness endures forever.
He has caused his wondrous works to be remembered;
the Lord is gracious and merciful”  

Psalm 111

— 4 — Spotlight On:  This week’s Spotlight is on Celeste from Sacred Sharings For The Soul for her postA `Bushel Of Falsehood` & A Lesson From Archbishop Lynch.  Celeste compares the hubbub that took place in the media during the First Vatican Council to the bushel of falsehood in the media about the Synod taking place in Rome.  Nothing new under the sun! Great job, Celeste!

— 5 —  Life and Breath:  Speaking of things going on in the media, did you catch the contrast between Baby Shane and the girl who is “choosing the day of her death.”  I am not going to judge the girl but I do so admire the parents of Baby Shane.  They found out in April that their precious baby boy had a condition that would end his life shortly after birth.  Those parents chose to give their sweet son the full life bestowed upon him by our Creator God.  Then, they honored our new brother in Christ in this way:

“Today at 6:15 a.m., after meeting his entire family and being baptized into the Catholic faith, baby Shane died peacefully in his Mother’s arms…We are so grateful for the time that we were blessed to hold and hug our son.”  #truedignityandcourage

— 6 —   Death Be Not Proud: Oh death.  Why your confidence?

“Though you may dwell in plague and poison,
You’re a slave to fate and desperate men,
So death, if your sleep be the gates to Heaven,
Why your confidence?” Audrey Assad

  7 —  Heavenly Scent:  I was introduced to a new scent while I was on travel in September.  The hotel room had those cute little shampoo, conditioner and body lotions.  I never like the ones that are offered (I really am picky about scents) but oh my this scent is heavenly!  I can tell you about hit now because I have sufficiently stockpiled enough to last me for years. Okay, here is the name:  Crabtree & Evelyn Citron, Honey & Coriander Skin Quenching Body Lotion.  I know! Crabtree and Evelyn sounds so 80’s right?  Not 80’s.  Heavenly!

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God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Disordered Desires

Last week’s post asked the question, “Does God ‘take away’ our desires?” and in it I shared that God, instead of taking away our desires, wants to put our desires in proper order. In response to that post, Amy provided this comment: 

“Cindy, what does a having a healthy and ordered desire for marriage feel like? Sometimes I struggle with despair and don’t know if those feelings are disordered or if it’s just my God-given desire for marital union. When do you think that natural desire turns disorderly? Thanks!”

Healthy Desires

“…what does a having a healthy and ordered desire for marriage feel like?

Unfortunately Amy, I don’t really know.   Prior to being married, my desire for marriage went through several stages.  First it felt unruly.  Then, it felt disordered.  Then, I felt numb.

Stages of Healing

Initially, my desire for marriage was unruly.  It was disruptive, wayward, intractable, recalcitrant and any other adjective you can think of.  For some, this unruliness can manifest itself in unhealthy outward actions.  But for me, I turned it inward on myself. 

Once I returned to a Sacramental life of grace, things got better.  But, only to a point.  I still felt disordered.  I was still preoccupied with being united with my husband and wondering if it was ever going to happen.  I still suffered judgment and ridicule from others for not being married and my heart was in constant pain.  Hot tears that sting your eyes and lump-in-throat kind of pain.  But, I was not acting out nor was I turning inward against myself.

Then, I went through a final stage where I felt numb.  I compare it to the anesthesia I had during my C-section.  I could see all the activity going on around me but I could not feel any pain. I was still somewhat preoccupied with my desire for marriage but I was not in pain.  Looking back, this was an extraordinary gift of grace.

Despair

“…I struggle with despair…”

Amy, you mentioned that you feel despair at times. Despair is the complete absence of Hope. I never felt true despair and I wonder if you have truly experienced it.  My guess is that what you are experiencing is doubt.  I felt that.  I always had Hope, but, I did doubt that I would ever get married. 

Feelings Are Not The Problem

“…and don’t know if those feelings are disordered or if it’s just my God-given desire for marital union…”

Your desire for marriage will result in various intense feelings.  But, the feelings are not the problem.  The problem is what you do with the feelings.  Do you curse God?  Do you avoid Him in worship?  Do you regularly lash out at others in anger?  Do you live a life of promiscuity? Are certain areas of your life obsessive or compulsive?  This is when you know your desire is disordered.

Your hunger for marriage could be likened to your hunger for food.  Both are natural, God-given feelings/desires and neither are wrong.  But, an extended time of fasting will take its toll on you as will a life of extended singleness.

What you are feeling and experiencing is completely natural and understandable. The healing processes teaches us what to do with these natural feelings.

Towards Healing

When do you think that natural desire turns disorderly”

Again, desires become disordered when we act out our feelings in a way that leads us away from God. But we can always turn back towards Him.

Note that in my experience, the process went in a positive direction…towards healing rather than towards disorder.  I healed over time as I grew closer to the Lord in obedience.

disorder to order

My Healing

Did God take away my desire?  No.  But, He did draw me closer to Him and over time as I drew near to Him, something happened. 

I made a decision to walk with the Lord.  He is the answer to the peace I needed.  It seemed obvious to me that my obedience was required.  So, I prayed and worshiped Him at Mass. I went to Confession regularly.  I read books about the faith. I taught CCD. I sang songs of praise. I started jogging.  I surrounded myself with marvelous comrades.  The Lord became my portion and my cup.  I claimed Him for my prize. I gave myself to Him.

My mind healed as I read His word in Sacred Scripture.  To this day, I favor the Old Testament because I know what it is like to walk in the desert.  I relate well to Job and Isaiah.  The book of Deuteronomy and the Psalms spoke to me daily and guarded my heart and mind.

“Lord, listen to my prayer; turn your ear to my appeal. You are faithful, you are just; give answer. Do not call your servant to judgment, for no one is just in your sight. The enemy pursues my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me dwell in darkness like the dead, long forgotten. Therefore my spirit fails; my heart is numb within me. I remember the days that are past: I ponder all your works. I muse on what your hand has wrought and to you I stretch out my hands. Like a parched land my soul thirsts for you. Lord, make haste and answer; for my spirit fails within me. Do not hide your face lest I become like those in the grave. In the morning let me know your love, for I put my trust in you. Make me know the way I should walk: to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me, Lord, from my enemies; I have fled to you for refuge. Teach me to do your will for you, O Lord, are my God. Let your good spirit guide me in ways that are level and smooth. For your name’s sake, Lord, save my life; in your justice save my soul from distress.” Psalm 143, 1-11

Time

I am wondering, dear Amy, if you are going through the same process? It may feel like this time of singleness is leading you towards more disorder.  But, if you are walking with the Lord, and I do believe you are, then I believe that your desires are being ordered by Him through this process.  Trust in the process. Trust in His timing. Trust in the Lord.

If anyone is struggling, please feel free to write to me: theveilochastity@gmail.com

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 96

— 1 —  This Week’s Post:  This week I asked the question, “Does God ‘Take Away’ Our Desires?”  I shared that God, instead of taking away our desires, wants to put our desires in proper order.  I shared what I felt can delay the freedom we are looking for and the method that God used (and is using) on me to have me let go of my unruly desires. 

— 2 — Next Week’s Post:  I received a fabulous comment/question from Amy and I will respond to it in next week’s post.  Amy, I will send you an email this weekend with my thoughts. Such a great question, thank you!!

“Cindy, what does a having a healthy and ordered desire for marriage feel like? Sometimes I struggle with despair and don’t know if those feelings are disordered or if it’s just my God-given desire for marital union. When do you think that natural desire turns disorderly? Thanks!”

— 3 —   Not Alone Series:   This week’s NAS topic was Makup Routine! This was a fun, light-hearted topic so head on over to Morgan’s blog and see what the girls had to say.  Surprisingly, the older I get, the less make-up I wear. I go without mascara on the weekends and pretty much use foundation and a little blush most times. Lately, I find that putting Coconut Oil under my foundation results in a smooth, lasting effect.  Other than that, I am a big exfoliator and I could slip right out of bed due to my moisturizing routine. :)

 — 4 — Spotlight On:  This week’s Spotlight is on Raquel from Story of A Rose for her post, Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist.  Oh girl, preach it. Raquel went to a retreat called “Simple ways to increase my peace.”  Doesn’t that sound wonderful?  Raquel noticed that perfectionism is robbing her of her peace. My comment to her was that it is such a blessing for her to discover this wisdom at an early age. I have seen women carry this perfectionism into their 40’s and 50’s and it affects their marriage and their children as well as their own peace. What an honor it is for me to witness the Lord working in Raquel’s life!

— 5 —   Kari Kampakis:  Kari was interviewed recently in myscoop online magazine.  You know Kari, right? Her book, 10 Ultimate Truths Every Girl Should Know will be out November 4th.  She graciously sent me an advanced copy and I will be doing a review of it the week before it is released.  In this interview, Kari was asked the following and I thought her response was perfect:

What are the 3 most important tips you would give to moms on parenting young girls

Be the adult you want them to be. Model a virtuous lifestyle so they know what it means to be in the world but not of the world. Whatever you expect of them, expect more of it in yourself.

— 6 —   When Were The Angels Created?:  Do you know the answer?  I didn’t!  Check out this fascinating 7 minute video and it will give you a new perspective on “let there be light.” The sun, right?  Nope!  That is what I thought. :)  Thank you Taylor Marshall, St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas!

— 7 — The Land of The Living:  If I didn’t convince you last week to sign up for Blessed Is She daily devotional, then maybe this gorgeous reflection by Audrey Assad will inspire you to do so:

“…I have a vivid memory of one wild, horrible night when I was 24 years old, lying “face down in the kitchen, a hundred hot tears running down between the tiles.”* My parents’ marriage was on the rocks and I could never have imagined how deeply that would cut me . . . ”  Audrey Assad

“…I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!”  

 Psalm 37: 13-14

Job2-e1412011432733

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Does God ‘Take Away’ Our Desires?

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I received a number of emails this week from girls who want to know why God does not take away our desires for marriage.  They want to know why He gives us these desires when He knows full well that He is not going to bless us with them!  Would it not seem more compassionate and loving to remove them and end our suffering?

Ahhhh, such good questions!  The only answers I have are from my own experience.  In this post, I am only going to address healthy desires which can become unruly.

Ordered Vs. Disordered

Your desire for a husband and children is healthy!  My post, He Will Rule Over You, explains why we experience these desires.  But, these good and healthy desires need to be tamed and put under the Lordship of Christ.  These desires, without God’s grace, can become very unruly.

Instead of taking them away, God teaches us to call into order our disordered emotions, habits and desires. But this takes….time.

 Time

Our whole life is a letting go process. Living a Sacramental Life in Christ allows us to call into order our disordered passions and desires.

Not living this Sacramental life will delay the process.  It will make us bitter towards God and accuse Him of withholding something that is good and healthy.  It will make those disordered desires so big, obsessive and compulsive.  A life without Sacramental grace will lead us further and further away from the healing we need.  It will delay our freedom from disorder.

So, let’s assume you are living a Sacramental Life in Christ.  How much time is required to heal you and order your passions?  This is the part I cannot answer.   But I will share the method He used with me.

Method

One thing I learned as a Mom is how to get an object from a child.  If you try to take it from them, they resist.  But, if you say,Will you please put that toy in my hand?” they more than likely will smile and put it in your hand. It is the weirdest thing!

In my experience, God does not take things from us when we are tightly gripping on to them.  Instead, when we live a Sacramental life of grace, He sort of ‘heats things up’ so that we feel it burning in our hands and let go of it on our own.

Trust

  I put this quote from Maura Byrne from Made In His Image in my 7QTs and got such positive response from it:

“As she looked back on her life she saw that every time she was rejected from something she desperately wanted, it was really our Heavenly Father whispering gently to her, “Hold on sweetheart I have something so much better for you. Let me surprise you.”

If I were to rewrite it for this post, I would say,

“As she looked back on her life she saw that every time she tightly gripped on to something good she desperately wanted, our Heavenly Father gently convince her to let go of it. He did this by whispering , “Will you please let go and place your trust in Me so I can heal you and order your desires in accordance with My will?”

Know that the process is not easy or quick.  But, God knows exactly how to do it.  He desires for us to be free of the things that control us and keep us from having peace. He desires to free us from disorder and instead order our lives in accordance with our human dignity.  It is unlikely that he will spontaneously take away your desires.  But, there is more going on in the background than you can ever know or imagine.  You can trust Him.

What are you gripping on to?  Will you let go and hand it to God?

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 95

— 1 —  This Week’s Post:  Is Romantic Love a Decision?  I have heard many times that love is a Decision.  This week I discussed the idea that Love is really Sacrifice.  Did you see Proverbial Girlfriend’s comment?  So good.  I hope the post was a blessing!

— 2 — Not Alone Series:   This week’s NAS topic was Dating vs. Courtship. I did not get a chance to read the posts this week but I will!  It was interesting to me that there were only a few entries and I am wondering if the topic was too confounding.  There are so many definitions of Courtship that it would be a difficult topic to write about.  I think Gregg and I dated but it had all the chivalry of a courtship.  Does that make sense?  See, tough topic!  Anyway, I plan to read these this weekend. 

— 3 —  Pope Paul VI:  Happy Birthday!  # lovehim

 — 4 — Spotlight On:  This week’s spotlight is on Maura from Made In His Image.  I was retweeting her like it was my job this week! Amazing!  Here is an example of her wisdom and heart:

“As she looked back on her life she saw that every time she was rejected from something she desperately wanted, it was really our Heavenly Father whispering gently to her, “Hold on sweetheart I have something so much better for you. Let me surprise you.”

— 5 —    St Agatha: My dear friend has breast cancer and four of us women just finished the St Agatha novena.  One of the girls sent everyone a charm of St. Agatha (it was delivered to me at work) and I had to keep from breaking out in tears right there in my office.  Do you know the story of St. Agatha?

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— 6 —    Blessed Is She:  Have you heard about this blog that has daily scripture meditations which follow the daily Mass readings?  Oh, please subscribe!  It is so amazing and even Audrey Assad writes for the blog.  Today’s readings were amazing:

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven”  Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

— 7 — Vanity of Vanities:  How about yesterday’s reading??  Such a good reminder.  Priorities.

Book of Ecclesiastes 1:2-11.

“Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth, vanity of vanities! All things are vanity!
What profit has man from all the labor which he toils at under the sun?
One generation passes and another comes, but the world forever stays.
The sun rises and the sun goes down; then it presses on to the place where it rises.
Blowing now toward the south, then toward the north, the wind turns again and again, resuming its rounds.
All rivers go to the sea, yet never does the sea become full. To the place where they go, the rivers keep on going.
All speech is labored; there is nothing man can say. The eye is not satisfied with seeing nor is the ear filled with hearing.
What has been, that will be; what has been done, that will be done. Nothing is new under the sun.
Even the thing of which we say, “See, this is new!” has already existed in the ages that preceded us.
There is no remembrance of the men of old; nor of those to come will there be any remembrance among those who come after them.”

 God love and bless you!

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Is Romantic Love A Decision?

“Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
 
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks 
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
 
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
 
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.”

William Shakespeare Sonnet 116

Some believe that a man ‘decides‘ to romantically fall in love with a girl.  I am not sure how a person would decide to have romantic feelings nor do I believe that this would be a good thing.  Instead, I hope to convince you that romantic love is sacrifice, not a decision.  Sacrifice is often the most revealing sign of romantic love.   

Actions Are Evidence 

I hear from girls who are dating men who they hope ‘decide’ to fall in love and marry them.  They write to me asking for my thoughts and I usually focus on his actions rather than his words.  Is he following through on what he says he is going to do?  Is he making changes in his life to accommodate you and invite you in?  Is his job, the military, his sister, NASCAR, football or his mom more important than you?  Is the drive too long to see you? Do you not fit in with his friends? Are the things that are important to you supported by him? 

What Motivates Men?

You see, men are motivated by something very mysterious.  They fall in love first and then decide to make sacrifices for that love.  A man, in most cases, does not decide to sacrifice in order to feel love.  It is unlikely that he will think that giving up NASCAR will enhance his love for you.  NASCAR will only be bumped down in priority when romantic love is evident.

 

An Ever fixed mark

An Ever-Fixed Mark

Love cannot be explained.  Note that Shakespeare mostly says what love is ‘not.’  Yet, his description of what it is, an ‘ever-fixed mark’, is perfect. Romantic love that leads to marriage should be unshakable.  You should feel it is as dependable as the rising of the sun when you lay your head on your pillow.

Love is Sacrifice

The book of Corinthians tells us that, “love does not insist on its own way.”

 Love is patient and kind…It does not insist on its own way..” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Sacrifice is what you want to look for when assessing a man’s intentions and depth of romantic love.  Sacrifice is the evidence that the man has found a pearl of great price. That does not mean that you are not a pearl. It just means that you are not his pearl.  But, you are someone’s pearl.

Not Motivated By Me

I dated a guy when I was just out of college who married the next girl he dated after me.  For reasons I won’t go into, I was able to witness the sacrifices he made for her. I was astonished by the influence and say-so she had in their relationship. There was a number of times I was left with my mouth gaping because I did not think this guy was capable of sacrifice.  Alas, he was.  He was motivated by romantic love and he decided to sacrifice…for her.

Love Is

To wrap up, here are some quotes from a past post, I Knew:

True love and attraction are mysteries.   Love just is or it just isn’t. It cannot be explained.  No matter how wonderful we are, we cannot manufacture true love and attraction.  And, this can be exasperating.” 

“Love and attraction are a mystery.  The mystery can confound you when it slips through your hands.  But, the mystery will completely overwhelm you with joy, gratitude and awe when it is yours to behold.” 

“Wait on the Lord.  Wait on the mystery that is love.  When it is yours, you will know.  I know it is hard.  You remain in my prayers.”

Are you dating someone and find it difficult to assess his romantic feelings for you?  Feel free to write to me.  I will be happy to help.

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

Thank you so much for visiting and reading this post! If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too!