Beautiful Conversion Story

catacomb-sabina-chapel-cc-santagnese

Ancient Roman catacombs where early Christians worshipped in secret

One of the most emotional things for me is to hear the number of new Catholics who are welcomed into the Church during the Easter Vigil Mass each year.  This Saturday, one of my readers, Antoinette, will become Catholic. She is 29 years old, gorgeous (!) and, like many of us, struggling to trust in the Lord and His plan for her life.

I asked her about her conversion story and she shared it with me.  It was so beautiful.  She gave me permission to share her story with you and I felt this week was the perfect week to do so.

Please join me in praying for her as she crosses the Tiber and begins her Sacramental life in Christ.

God bless you, Antoinette!

 

My conversion was a long process which began when I was about eight years old in a Southern Baptist church in New York City.  In this denomination, children participate in a scripture memorization competition called the Bible Drill. My instructor encouraged me to familiarize myself with where the passages verses were found in rather than simply memorizing the verses themselves.

While putting her advice into practice I stumbled upon John 6:55-56, “For My flesh is true food, and My blood is true drink. He that eats my flesh, and drinks my blood, dwells in me, and I in him.”  When I read it I thought, this sounds like what Catholics believe.

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Up until this point I had heard that Catholics had no scriptural basis for any of their doctrines but these verses did not seem symbolic, even with my eight year old intellect. I decided that I’d keep an open mind if I ever came across any books on Catholicism written by Catholics.  

Years later when in Junior High, I was flipping channels and saw a new channel, EWTN, and it was the first time I encountered Catholic teaching from practicing Catholics. I found the teachings to be as sound as what I was being taught in my Baptist church so I continued to watch for years.  

As I grew older, chastity, the virtues and orthodoxy became more important to me but I felt secure in my protestant tradition, until College when I studied abroad in France.  There I lived with an atheist family that knew I was Christian and encouraged me to go to church every Sunday (completely unexpected right?).

When I set out about finding a church I realized that I was unlikely to find a Southern Baptist church in my French town but I was hesitant to attend the local Catholic church for some reason.

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Over dinner one evening my host family asked me what exactly I was protesting since I was so insistent on being a Protestant, and I had no answer.  I began studying the faith and was drawn to it more and more.

I was also struck that whenever I encountered an ancient Christian denomination’s worship services in videos online (Copts, Ethiopian, Greek Orthodox) they looked extremely Catholic and completely unlike my Southern Baptist church.

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I eventually became convinced that this was the true Church and finally entered RCIA. When I told my parents they were very supportive and I learned surprising things about their pasts in Jamaica.

My mother used to teach CCD as a teenager until the family moved away from the local church. My Dad was educated in a Catholic elementary school and his Christian foundation came from the priests. He even knew Fr. Richard Ho Lung of the Missionaries of the Poor in Jamaica.

Thanks again Cindy.

Sincerely,

Antoinette

———————–

 God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 74

 

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  Dear Cindy ~ Texing Response Advice  How do you turn things from texting to phone calls to dates?  First, don’t carry on a complete conversation via text.  I recommend you respond with a smiley face or something light-hearted.  But, always be sweet!  And, if he asks you why you are not responding more, I recommend this:

“It is difficult to feel a spark via text. Just not my preference.”

— 2 —   Not Alone Series:  This week’s NAS topic was:  First Date Dos & Don’ts and since I loved every single one of these posts, each one will get its own Take!  Let me start of with sweet Jen who opened her post with a big shout out to me.  In the comments section, I shared with Jen and Morgan that you girls are like the daughters I never had and that yes, I do read and look forward to every NAS entry each week.  What did I love about Jen’s post this week?

“DON’T:
Tell everyone you know about it.”

 —3 —   Not Alone Series:  New to the NAS Series is Dahlia!  Here is what I loved about her post:

“DO

- Dress to bless”

— 4 —   Not Alone Series:  Here is what I loved about Claire’s post:

“Do remember to have fun!
We’re single, and some of us really don’t want to be. But we cannot lay all our hope on every date. Keeping within reason, remaining chaste and respectful of ourselves and others, we are allowed to have fun on dates. They help us grow and prepare us for our spouse in ways that we cannot do alone or with our friends. We learn how chemistry works; we learn how to respond to and protect the needs of another; we learn who we are in a romantic relationship. They also put smiles on our faces, make us walk with an extra spring in our step – and that is good!! Relax (if you can) and enjoy (what you can!) Don’t compromise your beliefs in any way! If you feel like you don’t have a choice, then walk away.”

— 5 —   Not Alone Series:  Want to know what I loved about Bek’s?  Everything!

 

— 6 —   Not Alone Series:  Besides the sweet shout out that Sarah gave me, I loved this about her post:

“DO

Pray” (she included a Courtship Prayer!)

— 7 —  Not Alone Series:  How about Britt?

“Do show your character: be courteous to wait staff, say thank you, etc”

— 8 —  Not Alone Series:  And Nikki?

“Don’t let your conversation only be negative.”

— 9 —  Not Alone Series:  And Beth Ann?  Good advice!

“Tell a friend/family member/someone you trust where you will be and check in with them when you get home so they know he wasn’t a serial killer…(no i don’t watch too many lifetime movies)…”

 God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Dear Cindy ~ Texting Response Advice

Dear Cindy,
     Thank you so much for blogging about this texting trend. Your words (again) are right on time. You mentioned that we can always email you if we have questions….Well, may I bother you for a moment?
     So I met a guy online and things were going well. We met in person and hit it off. From there we texted and talked on the phone regularly (about every other day or so) but I noticed the calls started to subside at about week 2.5 but his text did not. He made sure to text me at 7a.m. to say good morning and check on me throughout day.
     Due to his job he had work in another state for 2 weeks. He remained in contact with me via text. He told me that he couldn’t wait to get back home and take me out on a date, see me, blah,blah…well, we talked ONCE during his 2 week work trip and I initiated that phone call.
     During the call I sweetly made it a point to let him know that he could call me anytime and that I loved to hear his voice. He said he would do that. But fast forward…The day before his 2 week work trip was soon to end again we are texting. He still has not called me so I decided to ask him via text if he preferred to text. His response “yes, I do”.
     I did not like his reply so I didn’t respond back. He followed up after his response to that one single text a couple of hours later with, “but I do like talking to you every once in a while”. At that point I thought to myself “well, what is the point of me being around if you only want to talk to me ‘once in a while’.”
     I decided at that moment that I wouldn’t text him again and that if he liked me he would call. Especially after I sweetly asked him too :) His work trip is now over with no call from him the entire time (2 weeks). The day he was heading back home from work he texted me the usual “Good Morning”, and “I’m boarding the plane” but I didn’t reply.
     He continued to text me for 3 days asking if I’m okay. On day 4 he called me 3 times with no answer from me. On day 5 he goes back to texting me. Now he wants to know if he did anything wrong. At this point I’m thinking he is only calling me because he realizes I am gone. Am I right? Should I at least tell him the reason and be done with it. I know how it feels to just have someone totally ignore you and it’s not a good feeling but on the other hand I felt a little ignored myself.
     Thank you so much for letting me vent! Sorry so long but I do appreciate your input and I love your writing. Thanks for not forgetting about us single gals.

      Feeling Ignored

Dear Feeling Ignored
     Thank you so much for writing to me and sharing your heart with me. Ya know, I was just on my way upstairs to bed and I stopped by the computer for one last check and saw your note. Normally, I would sleep on it before responding to make sure that I could pray about it a little. But, I had to respond right away!
     You have assessed this guy correctly, Smart Girl! You have sooo much self-control. Some girls would have responded by now and acted like a door mat. Great job at putting him off-balance so he can think about his approach!
     If anything, I would sweetly respond with “It is difficult to feel a spark via text. Just not my preference.”
     Please let me know what happens!
     Love and blessings, Cindy

Hello,
     Here to update you on that lil issue I had the other day with “Texting Guy”. So I let him know the reason I pulled back from him was due to his texting and not calling. He apologized for not understanding but I felt he wasn’t sincere. He thought it was silly and told me that instead of ignoring him I should have talked with him about this. I kindly reminded him that I did, that I asked him to call me often. He went on to say that due to our work schedules it was hard to talk and easier to text. He was so sure that I would be satisfied with that lame response until I mentioned to him that there is plenty of time on the weekends to talk.
     I gave him my blessings and told him to take care. In a way I wish I would have just left well enough alone in the first place but lesson learned the next time around. I learned it is okay and to not feel bad about Not responding to lame and inconsistent initiation.
     Thanks Cindy for being here,

     Feeling Ignored

Dear Feeling Ignored,
     I am sorry that things did not improve. I have to say I am not surprised. Sometimes these things can turn around but most of the time the symptoms of his lame and inconsistent initiation are just ‘confirmed.’ And, that is good.
     I have had guys try to turn the tables on me also with the “why didn’t you tell me?” thing. So irritating. You were not silly at all. You are very perceptive.
     I will share a story with you. I dated this guy a long time ago who was like this towards me for years. When he met his wife, he later revealed to me that they talked on the phone every night. They were living in two different states while they dated. She was a nurse and had a weird working schedule and he was a military pilot with a weird schedule. Yet, they talked every night, even if it was in the middle of the night! I was flabbergasted when I found this out!  He would not do that for me.

     But, that is what love does. It propels the guy to want to hear your voice. It propels him to want to be in your presence. Schedules get worked out.

     Sometimes girls feel bad for not responding to texts so I recommend giving a simple response of a smiley face or “You are sweet.” Just enough to encourage him but not enough to support a conversation via text.
     Using texting as the main mode of communication is like trying to return a ball in tennis that never makes it over the net. Let’s say you are playing tennis. The guy on the other side of the net half-heartedly lobs the ball at you. Or, worse, he hits the net and it bounces back to him. What I see you girls doing with this whole lame texting thing is treating it like he hit the ball over the net AND that the ball is returnable. So, some girls run after the ball and wear themselves out in the game thinking that they better keep the ball in play or else the game is over. The thing is that you can only return a returnable ball.
     So, texting is along the lines of a half-hearted lob. It does not really merit a return. Again, if anything, you might return with a smiley face because that is enough to let him know that if he makes a real effort, you are potentially interested. But, all you can muster for now is a smiley face.
     With this guy, the lame and inconsistent initiation is a symptom that those required feelings were not there. And, now you have confirmation of that.
     I really believe in this Veil theory. When it is right, everything is different. The guy pursues, calls, takes you on dates and marries you. Wait on the Lord.
    Thank you for writing to me. I will continue to pray for you.
     Love and blessings,

     Cindy

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 73

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:   I Am Seeing A Trend  ~  I received a number of emails from girls asking how to respond when a guy uses texting as the main mode of communication.  Although I recommended in last week’s post that you not respond, sometimes a response is merited and can turn things towards a better course. I will share those responses in next week’s post!

— 2 —   Not Alone Series:  This week’s NAS topic was: Goals and Lent ~ It is interesting that the number of contributors was low and I am wondering if it is because:

a.  We (I) do not like to share with everyone that we (I) are (am) failing to keep our (my) Lenten promises to grow in virtue

Or

b.   We are growing in virtue but it is imperceptible at this time

My guess is that both of these are taking place.  We are failing and we are growing in virtue.  The first we are aware of and the second we will not be aware of until sometime in the future.  As Audrey Assad shares in this beautiful song, love moves Slow:

“You run so deep; That it’s hard to miss you
And you come so near;  That it’s hard to feel you
Oh, and I guess that’s how it is; When I let you move
Because you take me at my word;  Oh, and now I know 

That faith is not a fire; As much as it’s a glow”

 —3 —  Spotlight On: This week’s spotlight is on  Charity from A Note For Someday.  She was one of the contributors to the Not Alone Series.  She did not limit her topic to Lent.  She talks about her One Goal and it is amazing.  This is the part that I needed to hear this week: 

 “If I need to make any decision, I will pray for God to lead my steps, instead of reveal his plan to me.”

— 4 —  Meg:  Meg did a fantastic job sharing the secret behind the success of my Parish’s Summer Camp.  If you remember, I shared this information in my 7QTs last Summer.  Well, my Parish has made it possible for this success to go viral.  Yes, your Parish can have a money-making, grace-filled Summer camp.  Check out Meg’s awesome post!!

— 5 —  Katie:  From Waiting for Patience has returned from her Mission in the Democratic Republic of the Congo! She shares some details in this post but, but, but you will be overjoyed when you see how she was greeted by the Parishioners!!  Maybe she will do a guest post and include the video of the welcome party!

— 6 —  Twitter Big Leagues:  I am a big nobody but I was somehow included in a Tweet with these wonderful people!

 

 — 7 — Saint Bernard of Clariveau: (1091-1153), Cistercian monk and doctor of the Church wrote:

 “Above all, O good Jesus, I love you for the chalice you drained for our redemption… It is this that most sweetly allures our love, most justly exacts it, most closely binds it and makes it the most vehement. For on that day our Savior underwent immense labor and the Creator himself did not have as much trouble in forming the entire universe. Of that mighty work we read: “He spoke and they were made; He commanded and they were created.” Whereas, in order to redeem us, the Savior had to affirm his words before those who contradicted him, defend his actions against a hostile surveillance, undergo torment before his mockers and death in the midst of reproaches. He loved us even to this point.”

 God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

I Am Seeing A Trend

I have been meaning to do a book review ofReal Men Don’t Text by Ruthie and Michael Dean. I will share my review of the book in this post but the main point that I would like to share with you is that I am seeing a trend related to texting.

What is the trend? The girls who write to me with broken hearts indicate that the main mode of communication between them and the guy who broke their heart is:

Texting

There is a trend that goes like this: in-person contact, disappear, text, failed promise, text, disappear, text….

“He texted me on Valentine’s Day but I didn’t hear from him again until 5 days later. Again, a text.”

“I slept with him and then he disappeared for a week. Then, he texted me asking why he had not heard from me. It is infuriating!”

Back In My Day

I am old-fashioned. Back in the day when I was dating, there was no such thing as texting. Guys called on the phone which was somewhat tethered to a location (like my house or office). There was no talking ‘on the go’. It was done with purpose and focus. It took courage.

And, believe it or not, they wrote ‘snail-mail’ letters and sent cards. I still have these letters and cards in a box which has “Stupid Old Boyfriends” written across it. Email was used occasionally but it was not the primary mode of communication.

Not The Primary Mode

So, things have changed. Okay. But, what has not changed is that when a guy is interested in you, he will call you and take you out on dates. He may text you but it will not be the primary mode of communication. It may be something like this:

Stuck in a meeting. Call you when I am done.”
“Thinking of you. Can’t wait for our date tonight.”
“We said 6:00 tonight, right? See you then.”

The Answer To “S’up?” Is

Some girls, unfortunately, see texting as meaning more than it should. After not hearing from a guy for a day or week or two, they get this:

“s’up?” (this is not an invitation for supper. It is slang for “What is up?”)

The answer? My recommendation is that you don’t respond. It doesn’t merit a response.

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It’s Like Smoking

The advice I would give about texting is similar to the advice people give about smoking:  “don’t even start!”  If a guy is using texting as a primary mode of communication at the beginning of the dating relationship, then you can sweetly say, “Texting is not my preference.”  Then, see what he does.  If he will not meet your preferences at the beginning, well, it does not look good for later.

By the way, the “preference” thing is awesome.  Learn to use it and you will sweetly train guys to woo you correctly.  It is a non-offensive way of communicating, well, your preferences!

Okay, off my soapbox and on to my book review!

Real Men Don't Text

Real Men Don’t Text

I am not too sure about the title of this book because I know a lot of wonderful men who text. I think a better title would be: “If he is only texting you, dump him!”

Don’t let the title mislead you because there is a lot of good information in the Dean’s book. They do give excellent advice about texting. But, they also give advice about dating, exuding confidence and saving sex for marriage. Here are some good quotes from the book:

“…it is a trick certain men have conjured up to keep us where they want us—-available, non-demanding and easy. I know how it feels to desperately want a man to like you, but if he is not calling, the writing is on the wall: he’s just not that into you.”

“If he isn’t calling you after you ask him to, he doesn’t like you.”

They have these little ‘Text Translation 101′ sections where they interpret what a text means. It is pretty accurate. I recommend the book. It is an easy read.  If you have read it, please let me know what you think!

And, if you are wondering if the guy you are obsessing over is using texting as the primary mode of communication, write to me and let’s work through this to free you.  theveilofchastity@gmail.com

God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 72

— 1 —   This Week’s Post: Dear Cindy ~ Stay Vigilant!  Everyone seemed so inspired by the video by Marcus!  You can follow him on Twitter and on his website, Thirsting For Truth!  

— 2 —   Not Alone Series:  This week’s NAS topic was: Deal Breakers!  There were some great posts this week.  Shout out to Jen who does not want anyone massaging her feet. *** Ummm, Jen.  We can’t be friends cause I loooove having my feet massaged!  Ha, just kidding.  Isn’t it funny how one girl can loooove something that is another girl’s deal breaker?  

***Update:  I read Jen’s post incorrectly.  She does like **her** feet massaged but is not too excited about massaging other’s feet.      Yes, yes, I understand this.

Shout out to Britt for the funniest video. I had never heard of Liz Lemon before but oh boy did I laugh at this one because this is totally me: 

Anyway, I had a short list of deal breakers.  Similar to many of the girls, I wanted to marry a Catholic guy.  I knew, based on experience, that I would resent my husband if he did not participate in a spiritual life of Sacramental grace with me.  So, for the sake of my future husband, lest he not have to deal with my resentment, I made it a requirement.  Other deal breakers for me were bad dental hygiene (#callmeshallow) and a guy who cannot hold an interesting conversation. (#moretalkingthansexinmarriage)  

 —3 —  Spotlight On: This week’s spotlight is on Tammy from Counter Cultural Catholic.  She is one of my favorite bloggers and her reflection this week was beautiful.  Check her out! 

— 4 —  Is She The Best Or What?  You all know Maura from Made In His Image and follow her on her website, Facebook and Twitter, right?  Take a look at her Facebook status from today and let’s just all agree that we would feel very blessed to have her as our friend.  #lovethatgirl

  418080_295508220515401_1103699594_sMade in His Image

“…I prayed for all of you today – for your hope, healing, strength, vocations and that you may know how loved, wanted and beautiful you are and that our sweet Father would show you how much He adores you. #‎youarewanted..”

— 5 —   It Is Tough Out There:  I was talking to a new engineer in our group at work (I easily go into Mom mode with these youngin’s).  He is about 27 years old.  He is new to the area and went to a Theology on Tap event this week which I had told him about.  He said the girls were all very beautiful and friendly.  But, he felt strange asking any of them out on a date.  

I remembered the days when I would attend those types of events and yes, it is uncomfortable.  But, I encouraged him to keep attending and to go to Mass at a variety of churches in our area and that maybe he will see these girls again and can form a firmer foundation which can lead to a date

understand how a guy may feel strange asking a girl out upon the first meeting at an event like that.  Does she have a boyfriend?  Maybe she is only interested in the Theology on Tap talk and not interested in dates?  Will the girls think he is a ‘creeper’?  I think these things go through guy’s minds.  

This is why I am such a fan of online dating.  Everyone knows the deal.  We are here for dates and marriage. Anyway, initial meetings in person are tough for guys so just a sweet reminder of the importance of your smile.  It is like honey, after all.

 — 6 —   Jackie Francois:  She was at our local high school Wednesday evening!  I was so sorry to have missed her!  She doesn’t know me but we have been mentioned in the same tweet a couple of times!  That counts, right? 

 — 7 — Passions and Emotions:  I love this from YOUCAT

“Why did God give us “passions” or emotions?  

We have passions so that through strong emotions and distinct feelings we might be attracted to what is right and good and repelled from what is evil and bad. 

God made man in such a way that he can love and hate, desire or despise something, be attracted by some things and afraid of others, be full of joy, sorrow, or anger. In the depths of his heart man always loves good and hates evil-or what he considers to be such.

Is someone a sinner if he experiences strong passions within himself?  No, passions can be very valuable. They are designed to lead to and reinforce good actions; only when they are disordered do the passions contribute to evil.

Passions that are ordered to the good become virtues. They then become the motive force of a life of fighting for love and justice. Passions that overpower a person, rob him of his freedom and entice him to evil, we call vice.”  (YOUCAT questions 293-294)

 

 God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Dear Cindy ~ Stay Vigilant!

Dear Cindy,

I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now, and I always used to glide over the posts about chastity because I didn’t think they applied to me. I thought I was super strong in my commitment to chastity and sort of an “untouchable” if you will – if guys won’t even ask me out, then why would I worry about staying chaste? Yes, I had a few slip-ups in my teens and early twenties, but I’ve otherwise been chaste, at least in the physical way. I am now 30 years old.

However, I recently met a very sweet and very affectionate guy.  I started to become intrigued by him.  He is very much aware of how “Catholic” I am but suddenly, he started with the physical full force – hugging, holding hands, touching my knee. I liked it. I felt cherished. As a girl who had already decided that it was her fate to be single for the rest of her life it was so intoxicating and surprising to all of a sudden be swept up in this affection, especially by someone I really liked and felt safe and happy with!

But of course, I see now that the innocent affection was a warm-up – this guy planned to move fast.  He wanted to know about my sexual history pretty soon.  Within a couple of weeks, that chastity that came so “easy” for me came very close to being compromised, even after I told him that I planned to save sex for until after marriage (he still tried to push my boundaries).

We broke up mutually because it came clear to me that not only his approach but his attitude toward sex was fundamentally at odds with mine: I saw sex as something beautiful, powerful, a life-changing act that’s meant to cement life-long commitments, and something that puts women in an extremely vulnerable position; but he simply saw it as a good, up for exchange in a market, and something that both sexes could treat casually if they were being “responsible”.

I saw that sex for him was about satisfying a compulsion, not about truly loving someone: he valued the act of having sex over the individual that he would have it with. Therefore, even though he liked me a lot, I could see that it wasn’t enough to sacrifice his own compulsions.  And you know, marriage signifies a certain maturity for men too – and if a guy isn’t mature enough to be married, he will really grab at whatever he can get in the meantime.

I see this very clearly now, and I’m glad I was able to stick to my guns. But I’m left with the sadness because I wish I was a little bit more stronger, and didn’t kiss him that first week. I was just so flabbergasted by the situation, so swept along by the fact that someone attractive actually liked me and was brave enough to ask me out, that my rational commitment to chastity was almost bowled over. I was just so excited and hopeful that maybe it would was finally my turn.

Anyway, just writing to ask for your prayers. And to say that sexuality is so powerful – it can feel so right to be close to someone, especially someone who you already started to form intellectual/emotional bonds with. It’s good to stay vigilant because you can get bowled over at any time. This situation has really made me realize how vulnerable I am, and age doesn’t change that – it may even intensify it. If nothing else, it’s made me sadder and wiser. 

Thanks for your counter-cultural words – you’re truly a voice crying out in the wilderness. 

Lesson Learned

vigilant

Dear Lesson Learned,

  I am so sorry that this happened to you.  Your observation and experience is spot on.  I did have a couple of these “ahhh, it is finally my turn!” dating experiences (that ended in break ups) and yes, they can be intoxicating. We women are vulnerable and need to stay vigilant.

  I would not be so hard on yourself because the important thing is that you were able to identify what was going on, stick to your guns and then extract yourself from the relationship.  Imagine how hard it would have been if you had sex with him! I am so proud of you! 

  With regard to your sadness for kissing him, again, I would not be so hard on yourself.  There are a variety of opinions about kissing and participating in the ‘warm up’ actions which lead to sex.  I am of the opinion that kissing is okay but that we have to be aware of how easily it leads to the warm up actions and then to sex.  Just because a guy is affectionate with us does not mean that he is going to marry us.  All that kissing leads us to think that it is heading in that direction. Vigilance is needed, yes indeed.

  What you said about him ‘just wanting to satisfy a compulsion’ is perfectly stated.  I saw the video below on the Chastity.com website of Marcus Guevara and it reminded me that if we women are firm in our expectations, the right man will wait.  He will find our commitment to Chastity beautiful. You can find Marcus via his website, Facebook and you can follow him on Twitter! Be sure to watch all 12 minutes to see how the story turns out! 

   Thank you for writing to me and sharing your wisdom about staying vigilant!  Be assured of my prayers. 

    God love you, Cindy

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7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 71

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  My guest post, Who Is My Favorite Saint?, is over at Sarah’s blog, Footprints On My Heart!  Thank you, Sarah for inviting me to share this!

— 2 —   Not Alone Series:  This week’s NAS topic was: Single Life Bucket List!  All the girls had neat and meaningful things on their list. Many want to travel and some had what I consider to be ‘lofty’ goals.  I am looking at you, Nikki, who wants to learn to play the piano, swim and learn to ice skate.  Go Nikki!  I also loved what Jen wrote:

“If I had to pick something for my Single Life Bucket List… it would be this: to be proud and confident in who I am; in who God has created me to be, so that I can be the best version of myself.”

Oh, and I can’t wait for next week when the topic is Deal Breakers!

 —3 —  Spotlight On: I would like to welcome Charity from A Note For Someday to the NAS series.  I loved her single life bucket list!  For a college girl, she has lots of wisdom.  I can attest to her wisdom because I know her!  She stayed the Summer with us last year and actually has the inside scoop on our household…. so I need to be nice to her!  No, seriously, she is an amazing girl and we love her.  I knew I could count on the NAS girls to provide their usual encouragement to her.  Charity writes about fashion, Modesty, University life and heartbreak. Check her out. You will not be disappointed.

— 4 —    Spotlight On:  This week’s spotlight is on Pier from The Newlywed Lefebvres for her post, We Give Up!  You remember Pier.  She did a guest post for me a while back.  Have you visited her blog?  Please do. It is all grace and heart over there.  This line from her We Give Up! post is spotlight worthy:  

“…This isn’t to say we have given up on having children…but our first priority is going to be God’s will for our marriage.”

— 5 —   It Matters Who You Marry:  I cannot tell you how important it is to have a strong marriage.  If you suffer from infertility, you will need a strong marriage and a very compassionate husband who is deeply in love with you.  If you have children, you will need a strong marriage and a very compassionate husband who is deeply in love with you.  Wait on the Lord and choose well.  And, as Pier says above, God’s will for your marriage is the first priority.

 — 6 —  This Week:  This has been a busy (and trying) week and I have been delayed in all my responses to those who have emailed me.  Even these 7QTs are late!  I had some things going on in the evening and we only have one computer in our house to share among the two and a quarter of us.  No, we will not be getting additional computers because I like the fact that we have to share.  Such a hardship, right?  I do respond to everyone and always pray before doing so.  I love your emails so please keep them coming and thank you for your sweet understanding if it takes me a day or two to respond!

 — 7 —  Turning Over Tables:  This reflection from Father Robert Barron’s Daily Lenten Journey was excellent:  

“From very early on, Christian theologians and spiritual writers made a comparison between Jesus’ cleansing of the temple in Jerusalem and Jesus’ cleansing of our hearts and bodies. St. Paul refers to the body as a “temple of the Holy Spirit.” Your self, your body, your whole person is meant to be a temple, a holy place where God dwells and where prayer and union with God is central. It’s a beautiful image: rightly ordered, we become temples of the Holy Spirit.

This image leads to an important question: what goes wrong within the temple of our souls? The same thing that went wrong with the Temple in Jerusalem–what’s meant to be a house of prayer becomes a den of thieves. All kinds of distractions came into the Temple, money changers and corrupt influences, those who turned people away from worshiping God.

Today, we should ask, what distractions and corruptions have come into the temple of my heart and body?  Lent is a terrific time to allow Jesus Christ to make a whip of cords and come into the temple of our hearts, and, while there, to turn some tables over, to flip things upside down if he has to.

What would Jesus chase out of your heart if he had a chance? If you let him in, with all the wonderful fury displayed in the Gospels, what would he cleanse?”

 God love and bless you!

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For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Who Is My Favorite Saint?

I had the honor of providing a guest post for Sarah’s blog, Footprints On My Heart .

Sarah has a Saturday series called Our Friends, The Saints!” where various guests share about their favorite Saint.  Are you curious who my favorite Saint is? Some of what I share may seem obvious but there are other things which may surprise you! Click here to see!

ourfriendsthesaints

Head on over to Sarah’s place and check out all her awesome posts!  Thank you, Sarah!

God love and bless you,  Cindy

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow” button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

7 Quick Takes Friday ~ Vol 70

The belated version!

— 1 —   This Week’s Post:  How To Say ‘No’ To Him  I hope it encouraged you in your pursuit of Chastity!

— 2 —   Next Week’s Post:  I am providing a guest post over at Sarah’s blog, Footprints On My Heart.  I will link to it on Monday the 17th!

—3 —  Spotlight On: Loved this episode of The Choices We Face:  From Slavery To Freedom:

— 4 —   Not Alone Series:  This week’s NAS topic was: Marrieds And Singles ~ Can we relate to one another and if so what are the best ways of cultivating deep and long-lasting friendships throughout our vocational lives?  The girls provided a number of ways to bridge the gap.  Kudos to Joan from Everything Is Yours for her post.  I appreciated her recommendations!  Great job to all the girls!

 — 5 —   Boo Tar-jay:  Did you see this article about the photoshop-gone-bad on the Target site?  Really.  What has the world come to?

— 6 —  Ulf Ekman:  Sweden Megachurch Pastor Ulf Ekman’s (and his wife) decision to convert to Roman Catholicism!  He tweeted this:

Three words “Authority”, “Sacraments”, “Unity”. Or put it another way:”One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church.”

 — 7 —  Aphrahat (?-c.345), monk and Bishop ~On Fasting:  Proving the Catholic approach of both/and.

“This is the fasting that I wish: releasing those bound unjustly” (Is 58,6)

The Ninevites fasted with a pure fast when Jonah preached repentance to them… This is what is written: “When God saw by their actions how they turned from their evil way, he repented of his blazing wrath” (cf Jon 3,10). It is not said that: “He saw a fast of bread and water, with sackcloth and ashes” but that: “they turned away from their evil deeds and the wickedness of their works”. For the king of Nineveh had spoken and said: Every man shall turn from his evil way and from the violence he has in hand” (v.8). It was a pure fast and it was accepted...

Because, my friend, when we fast it is always the abstaining from wickedness that is best. It is better than abstaining from bread and water, better than “afflicting oneself, bowing the head like a reed and lying in sackcloth and ashes” as Isaiah says (58,5). In fact, whenever people abstain from bread, water or whatever food it might be, when they cover themselves in sackcloth and ashes and afflicts themselves, then they are loved, beautiful in the eyes of God and accepted. However, what please God most of all is: “…to release those bound unjustly and break the bonds of deceit” (cf. v.6). 

 God love and bless you!

p.s.s. Check out all my posts listed by category here!

If you have enjoyed my blog, please “like” my Facebook Page, The Veil and sign up to receive my blog posts automatically by clicking the rectangular “Follow button. Please check me out and follow me on Twitter too! Thank you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!