But Not Enough

I have two favorite scenes in the movie Sense and Sensibility. My first favorite scene is when Marianne finds out that Willoughby rejected her and instead married Miss Grey and the following heart-wrenching exchange takes place:

Elinor Dashwood: “Did he tell you he loved you?”

Marianne: “Yes… no. Never absolutely. It was everyday implied but never declared.”

The second scene that I love is when Elinor breaks the news to Marianne that the reason Willoughby married Miss Grey was for her money:

Elinor Dashwood: “Whatever his past actions, whatever his present course… at least you may be certain that he loved you.”

Marianne: “But not enough. Not enough.”

Willoughby was Marianne’s Mr. Almost Right. I have more Mr. Almost Rights than Mr. Wrongs in my dating history. Mr. Almost Right is a tricky kind of guy because he often displays a tremendous amount of interest and affection. But, as I explained last week, with Mr. Almost Right, the movement toward marriage is in question. He likes you but he acts as if something is keeping him from committing to ‘till death do you part.’ The certitude is missing and there is a general lack of peace. It is so close to being right but it is as if something is preventing the relationship from developing into marriage.

Before you get too excited about Mr. Almost Right and throw all caution to the wind like Marianne, please keep this in mind: just because something looks better than anything you have experienced before, does not mean that it is God’s will. It could be a test. Chastity will enable you to keep your head on straight and empower you to pass the test.

Mr. Almost Right circa 1996

About 5 years before I met my husband, I dated this guy whom I met through work. I am going to share this story as a way of showing that even though something may look like it is God’s will, there are key factors to look out for.

So, this guy, let’s call him Fred, saw me in the copy room one day at work and asked me if anyone had ever told me that I look like Vivien Leigh. I did not know who she was. But it is funny that even this level of obtuseness on my part did not stop him from pursuing me. He said, “You know, the girl in Gone With The Wind?” Oh, a compliment from a cute guy. Okay, this is nice. So, we introduced ourselves and I went on my merry way.

Then one day I accidentally left a very special ring in the Ladies’ room which my Mom had given to me. Another girl found it and put a note on the mirror with the room number to the office where I could find the ring. The room was in a secured area and when I knocked on the door, who do you suppose answered? Yes, it was Fred!

So, I told him about my ring and he said, “Is it a wedding ring?” Somewhat taken aback but smiling, I said, “No, but it is an important ring.” He said, “So, you are not married?” Smiling, I said, “No.” And, he said, “I would like to take you out on a date if you are interested.” I said with a sweet smile, “Yes, I would like that. May I please have my ring now?”

I was interested in Fred and he was what I considered to be a catch. He was a military officer and had even flown sorties in the first Gulf War. He was blonde, blue-eyed and cute! But, the big hurdle for me was that he was not Catholic. He had never even been baptized. It is sad because I remember the first time I met his Mom, an atheist, and he told her that he had gone to Mass with me. The look of distasteful shock on her face is something I could not forget.

He loved the fact that I was Catholic and was very clear that this was a big attraction for him. And the chastity thing really intrigued him. During our courtship, he revealed that he would like to become Catholic. Yay!

Most everything felt right and somewhat providential. I wondered, Could he be the one?” It seemed as if God was aligning things up perfectly! For example, our jobs were transferring that year to an area where Fred just so happened to already own a beautiful home on several acres of land. And, he was telling all his friends about me, introducing me to them, calling me daily, spending lots of time with me, planning our future and doing all the things that a guy does when he is interested in a girl. Yes, words of love were spoken. It felt really almost right. Almost.

To be continued…..

Come back next week to find out what happened! God love and bless you!

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2 thoughts on “But Not Enough

  1. To be continued?! Oh man…guess I’ll just have to come back next week! I’m really interested to see what you say because I’ve dated guys and everything seems to line up and then all at once the relationship is just over!

    Thanks for blogging =)

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