This is a continuation of last week’s amazing interview with Marcus!
Q3: Does your vocation of marriage to Dianne specifically feel as if it was God’s plan for you as if you were made for each other? Are you able to look back on your life and see God leading you through various sufferings and circumstances towards Dianne? In other words, in your opinion, is God in the middle of our vocation or is it all just a roll of the dice?
Yes and no. It depends on how you look at it. It’s an impossible task to figure exactly how God works. As much as he has revealed to us – even more still remains a mystery. How he can write a great love story for us and allow us 100% freedom to choose at the same time is a bit of a mystery. I do believe God has a “plan” for us but I’m a computer programmer so I believe that his plan somehow accounts for every kind of contingency and possibility.
What if you decide to leave your hometown or go to college in a different state – does God know you are going to do that and thus set up your soul-mate as a person who would eventually choose the same college? What if God is leading us to go to college out of state but we exercise our free will in defiance and stay in our hometown because we got involved with drugs? Does that mean that the person God originally intended for us will never get married and we are out of a soul-mate because of that decision?
I don’t know what the answer is but my opinion is that God is always a million steps ahead of us (really, there is no finite number to attach here). Each decision we make creates a set of new possibilities and contingencies that God has already accounted for. Somehow he is able to at any point in our lives have a plan that will get us into Heaven.
I believe God is always putting people in your path and putting you in the paths of other people. At that time Dianne was exactly the person I needed in my life. I could have made the decision to not pursue her after hearing about her promise to save her next kiss for marriage. Things would be very different for me right now. I made the decision to give it a shot – and the rest is history.
Was she the person who was originally intended for me since birth? I guess only God knows that. I moved three times within Texas and she was born in Mexico and then moved to New York and Massachusetts before she ended up in Texas. It’s nice to think he moved Dianne’s family all around for me but I think what is more important is not whether we were destined for each other but that we are ultimately destined for God. That we can be sure of.
Our vocation is a calling to an intimate relationship with God and that calling may not be through earthly marriage. We can be sure that our vocation is not a roll of the dice but the call of a Father. God is constantly guiding us in our vocation by giving us opportunities. We just have to take advantage of those opportunities when he presents them.
Q4. Do you have any advice for my readers when it comes to dating standards? Is there any way a girl can ruin her chances with a guy because she has high standards?
I would recommend two articles my bride and I wrote together called “Happy Catholic Relationships That Lead To Happy Catholic Marriages” (http://thirstingfortruth.com/happy-catholic-marriages/) and “7 Powerful Reasons To Save Your Kiss For Marriage” (http://thirstingfortruth.com/7-reasons-to-save-your-kiss/).
You certainly can ruin your chances with a guy by setting high standards. That’s a good thing. The guy who isn’t willing to meet your standards now will have an even harder time accepting them later. Make the hard decisions now to make sure you have the beautiful love story later. Don’t settle. You are worth the wait.
Q5. Do you have any words of encouragement for my readers about the rejection they may be experiencing from guys? I blame the rejection on The Veil and tell the girls that they guy is unable to see them. But do you have any explanation from a guys point of view?
If you are rejected it is usually because the guy did not have an authentic interest in you – or simply was not attracted to you. Relationships aren’t just about feelings and attraction, though, they are intended to be a witness of the nature and love of God.
My advice is: focus on your relationship with God. Don’t be overly concerned with finding a guy. Be a faithful woman of Christ and you will catch the eye of the man who is looking for a devout woman.
When I started pursuing my bride she had her full focus on Christ. She closed her eyes in humble prayer and I watched her in amazement. Her innocence was like a priceless jewel that I could spend all day admiring.
If you focus on your body or your looks to get a guy’s attention you will attract men interested in your body and your looks. If you focus on your relationship with Christ and do not seek attention you may attract a man who is interested in your humble spirit. If you find you are not called to marriage – then maybe your faithfulness captured Jesus’ attention so much that he decided to keep you for himself. Either way you are loved by the only man who truly matters.
Marcus Guevara is the founder of Thirsting for Truth – a new ministry that empowers young adults to live courageously chaste and Catholic lifestyles. A native Texan, Marcus currently resides in the great city of San Antonio. He holds a Bachelors degree in Computer Science and Masters in Cyber Security. Marcus became a serious and practicing Catholic in college after being introduced to the Theology of the Body and realizing the damages caused by a life of promiscuity and irresponsibility. He is joyfully married to Dianne, his bride of four years, and has two children, Elizabeth and John-Paul, and another child to be born in July 2014. You can watch Marcus’ powerful conversion story at ThirstingforTruth.com. Connect on facebook.com/ThirstingforTruth or Twitter @Thirsting4Truth
God love and bless you!
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