It Only Takes One

Dear Cindy, 

    I am SO CONFUSED about using Catholic Match!  So far the only two matches I’ve had with more than one message exchange have gone down in FLAMES.  The second one being tonight. 

HIM: after a week of silence “here’s my number let’s talk/text” 

ME: “can we set a time to talk so I can make sure I’m home?”

HIM: “that’s ok”

ME: “well then whenever, let me know

HIM: “I mean that’s ok like I’d rather be spontaneous and let things happen natural like when we were teens (!) and by the way I turned down 4 jobs in your area. I’d never move there.  Good luck.”

ME: “Um, thanks for the clarification.” 

I mean, I know I’m not perfect but I know how to talk to people.  These people are STRANGE.  I went through this six years ago on eHarmony, quit, and then have had NO dates since!  How do I attract NORMAL? 

Thank you!  Seeking Normal


Dear Seeking Normal,

Gregg and I both gasped when we read your email!  Gregg said “Thank God that she has dodged that bullet of a guy.  He is acting like a jerk toward her!”

I cannot explain why someone would act so boorish but alas the world is one big gaping wound.  I want to reassure you that his reaction towards you had nothing to do with you.  Only a person who is extremely wounded would treat a girl that way.

Of course, I think the veil, in this case, acted as a protection.  For this, we thank God.

I do know what you mean by some men being strange.  I felt the same way when I was online.  I also wondered how to attract ‘normal.’   But, like I shared in my Mr. Online Man post, it only takes one.

It Only Takes One 

I shared this appalling email so that you girls will know that you are not alone in your frustration.  These exchanges with Mr. Abnormal can be discouraging and can feel very personal.  But, they are not a reflection on you at all.  They are a reflection of the man who is behaving in a boorish manner.


Mr. Normal exists.  You are being healed and prepared so that you will recognize him when he does enter your life. He is being healed and prepared so that he will recognize you and have the courage to pursue you correctly.

There is no guarantee with online dating or any other kind of dating.  The one thing that online dating does is open up the whole world for you.  By participating, you are not limiting yourself (or God’s holy will) to your local area.

Online dating is the most effortless way of putting yourself out there possible. Yes, you will most likely meet strange men with boorish behavior.  You will meet some who are weak in their pursuit.  You must understand from the get go that not all of the men will be candidates for marriage.

But one day, one amazing day out of the blue, your holy spouse could send you a message.  And, things will take off from there.

It only takes one. 

Trust in God and stay the course.

God love and bless you!

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6 thoughts on “It Only Takes One

  1. After being on CM for about 5 years, I did not renew my subscription, and it expired in early September. This past weekend I turned 42, and for every guy my age who contacted me, I had a dozen men in their mid-late 50’s contacting me. The final straw was a 65 year old man who emailed me to give him a chance because he was “a young 65.” The men my age on CM did email me, and some texted, but none made the initiative to call, much less set up a date. I became disheartened and gave up on CM.

    Nonetheless, thank you Cindy for your blog and wisdom.

  2. Pingback: Sumpah, menjadi Ayah ASI itu Asik dan Mengasikan!!! | Ayah Keenan

  3. What the WHAT?????

    Where do these guys come from?

    Are they real? Or are they just teenage boys setting up fake profiles and trolling?

    Right now I’m pretty thankful I don’t do online dating (although I guess if I did, I could start a blog and use all the anecdotes.)

  4. Absolutely true, Cindy! All it takes is ONE! I could write a very long book about all the guys who weren’t right before I found The One! The veil is such a blessing! We should consider it that way instead of focusing on all the frogs on the way to the one God has set aside for you! 🙂

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