7 Myths Singles Must Resist: Setting the Stage

I remember when I was single and how easy it was for me to believe ideas that were simply untrue.  But, because I didn’t have the benefit of hindsight, I wasn’t able to put these false ideas and myths into perspective.  I now have the benefit of hindsight and my hope is that by sharing this perspective with you, it will help you fight against some of the common myths which can vex the single life.

I will be expanding on 1 myth per week but first I want to set the stage for you and build a foundation to help you resist and understand the root of these myths.

Yes, Satan Is Real

Again, I am setting the stage for you so that each of these myths will make sense in light of its origin.  The father of all lies, Satan, wants you to believe these myths because they make God, our Holy Loving Father, look like an unjust, stingy and uncaring God who has left us to fend for ourselves.

“The power of Satan is, nonetheless, not infinite. He is only a creature, powerful from the fact that he is pure spirit, but still a creature. He cannot prevent the building up of God’s reign. Although Satan may act in the world out of hatred for God and his kingdom in Christ Jesus, and although his action may cause grave injuries – of a spiritual nature and, indirectly, even of a physical nature ~ to each man and to society, the action is permitted by divine providence which with strength and gentleness guides human and cosmic history. It is a great mystery that providence should permit diabolical activity, but “we know that in everything God works for good with those who love him.”

Catechism of the Catholic Church #395

The Old and New Eve

Yes, The Fall of Mankind Is Real

Because of the Fall of Mankind, we are wounded, weak and subject to ignorance, suffering, sin and death.  We need to be protected from Satan’s lies and we need to be healed by God.  We need to choose the way of the New Eve.

“Although it is proper to each individual, original sin does not have the character of a personal fault in any of Adam’s descendants. It is a deprivation of original holiness and justice, but human nature has not been totally corrupted: it is wounded in the natural powers proper to it, subject to ignorance, suffering and the dominion of death, and inclined to sin – an inclination to evil that is called concupiscence“.  Baptism, by imparting the life of Christ’s grace, erases original sin and turns a man back towards God, but the consequences for nature, weakened and inclined to evil, persist in man and summon him to spiritual battle

                                                     Catechism of the Catholic Church#405

You are in a spiritual battle so use your weapons! 

In her book, Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot writes:

If there is an Enemy of Souls (and I have not the slightest doubt that there is), one thing he cannot abide (put up with) is the desire for purity.  Hence a man or woman’s passions become his battleground.  The Lover of Souls does not prevent this.  I was perplexed because it seemed to me He should prevent it, but He doesn’t.  He wants us to use our weapons.”

A Three-Pronged Attack

There are 3 main ways that Satan attacks us when we are single:  Through our minds, our bodies and our eyes.

Our Minds:  Our minds are very powerful. If Satan can influence us through our thought life, then he can gain a foothold. If Satan can convince us that God doesn’t care about us and that sin doesn’t matter, then we are more prone to following our sinful inclinations to cohabitate, fornicate and contracept.  If he can convince us that God is distant, unjust and stingy, we will surely fall into despair.      

Our Bodies:  Our bodies are made to glorify God.  When you cohabitate, fornicate and contracept, you are living outside of your design.  I believe when you live outside the design of your body and you will eventually hate your body.  If Satan can influence us to the point where we hate or misuse our bodies, then he is ecstatic!  His pride swells because our bodies, as evidenced by the Incarnation, are holy.  Satan hates holiness and thrives on the profane. 

Our Eyes:  Our eyes influence our perspective.  What we see becomes our reality.  It takes effort, prayer and Sacramental grace to overcome what we see and instead believe that there is another realm of reality.  This other reality is the realm of the supernatural, the holy, the sublime and the mysterious.  It is where truth can be found.  But, the lies from Satan tempt us to take our eyes off of Jesus and instead focus on and believe what we see in the natural, human, physical realm. We see others cohabitate, fornicate and contracept and we think there are no consequences. 

Use Your Weapons!

Your Mind:  Protect your mind by shielding it from media (TV, books, websites) which are unholy and secular.  Instead, frequent Catholic Blogs which are faithful to the Magisterium. Read Catholic literature and the writings of the Saints and Doctors of the Church. Participate only in holy conversation. Most importantly, bathe your mind in the wisdom and truth found in Sacred Scripture.  Read something from your bible every day to transform your mind.  The scripture below from Deuteronomy can be translated into: “Memorized these truths and write them on your forehead!

“…Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads…”. Deuteronomy 11:18

Your Body: Protect your body with the virtue of Chastity.  Bathe yourself in the Sacraments and glorify God with your body.  Glorify God with modesty and by celebrating your fertility.  Honor its miracle and power.

“…Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship…”  Romans 12:1

Your Eyes:  Because of the Fall of mankind, our eyes are in need of healing.  We see others cohabitate, fornicate and contracept and we are easily misled.  Medicate your eyes with prayer, fasting, Eucharistic adoration, scripture, Confession and of course the body and blood of Jesus in the Holy Sacrament so that you can see the truth.

buy ointment to smear on your eyes so that you may see.”     Book of Revelation 14:18

The Myths

Now that I have set the stage, I will address the following Myths over the next several weeks:

Myth #1   Other people are getting away with sin/sex is Consequence-free


Myth #2   God has forgotten about me


Myth #3   Something is wrong with me

Myth #4   Men/Women are defective

Myth #5   Attraction is Physical

Myth #6   I Am Too Picky

Myth #7   I Can Change Him/Her

The Veil

I realize that the concept of the veil is just a metaphor.  But, as you read about each of the myths, consider the relationship of the veil when it comes to explaining each myth. If you are covered by a veil, the only suitor who will be able to “see” you is the one that God intends for you to marry.  So, in the meantime, the veil will most likely lead to rejection, the feeling of being forgotten and the idea that something is wrong with you. This can really test your patience!  And, Satan knows this and capitalizes on it.

Satan also knows that if you use you weapons and commit to chastity, God will be glorified.  God will be glorified by your patience and faith in the midst of your trial.  Then, God will be glorified by your beautiful, chaste, fruitful marriage.  Your marriage will be filled with grace and Superabundance and the world will be blessed and inspired by your witness.

But in the meantime, Satan will harass you. 

As Elisabeth Elliot wrote, “The Lover of Souls does not prevent this….He wants us to use our weapons.”

God bless!

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