Think of The Veil as a simple metaphor: It is the idea that God places a protective veil over all of us and the purpose of the veil is to hide us from every possible suitor except the one that God intends for us to marry. I call the person God wants us to marry our ‘holy spouse.’
This protective veil makes us ‘unclear’, similar to looking through a Mylar plastic sheet, to those suitors who are not our holy spouse. These suitors may be attracted to us but they hesitate to pursue us fully because they can’t fully see us; we are hidden by the veil. This may feel like rejection but it is really God’s protection.
The Holy of Holies:
I love The Veil reference because of the beautiful meaning of a veil in scripture, especially the Old Testament. For example, if you read from the book of Leviticus, it describes God’s requirements for entering the Holy of Holies. The Holy of Holies is the most sacred room of the Tabernacle and God gave the Israelites very specific instructions on how to build the Tabernacle, who could enter this most sacred room and how they should enter it.
The Old Testament Tabernacle had 3 rooms: the courtyard, the middle room or Holy Place and finally, the Holy of Holies. The design of the Tabernacle was explicitly given by God to Moses. The Holy of Holies was where God dwelt among His people. The Holy of Holies contained the Ark of the Covenant which held the Omer of Manna and the sacred tablets of the Ten Commandments written by the finger God on Mount Sinai.
The Veil:
A thick curtain separated the Holy Place from the Holy of Holies. This curtain, known as the ‘veil’ was made of fine linen and blue, purple and scarlet yarn. There were figures of cherubim embroidered onto it. Cherubim, spirits who serve God, guarded the throne of God.
So, the Holy Place and the Holy of Holies were separated by the Veil. The veil was a barrier between man and God, showing man that the holiness of God could not be trifled with. The veil was a barrier to make sure that man could not carelessly and irreverently enter into God’s awesome presence in the Holy of Holies.
What does this have to do with your holy spouse and saving yourself for marriage?
I think if you will at least humor me on the concept of The Veil, you will see it revealed in the posts of this blog. And, not surprising to me, I have found a good number of secular references all pointing to the same conclusion: Fornication is destructive and Chastity is just plain smart.
Before people get too upset that I am using the term, let me look up the definition of ‘fornication’ to be sure we are all on the same page. Mr. Webster says:
for·ni·ca·tion noun 1. voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other.
I want to make sure I am not perceived as being catty when I use this term. I am just differentiating the act of fornication from the marital embrace. Unmarried vs. married.
So, back to Chastity being smart. I am aware that this message will not be accepted by everyone who reads it. But, my heart is with single women. I want you to know that there is a plan and a good reason why you are getting mixed messages from the guy you are interested in or dating. I want you to know that there are rewards for treating the gift of our sexual powers with care and reverence. And, that there are consequences to trifling with God’s design of our sexual powers.
The premise of The Veil theory is that God puts a protective veil over us and the veil is only to be ‘lifted’ by God and only lifted for the one He intends for us to marry, our holy spouse, in God’s specified time according to His specified plan. And only our ‘intended’, our holy spouse, can enter the Holy of Holies (the marital embrace).
And, once God lifts the veil, our holy spouse sees us through the eyes of Love in all our beauty and virtue filled with grace and trust. If, on the other hand, we try to lift the veil ourselves (sexually) prior to marriage and reveal ourselves to someone who is not our ‘intended’, the person will only see us with human eyes, blurred and with all our faults.
The Veil theory proposes that marriages fail and people suffer because they enter marriage with the veil still covering them. They attempted, unsuccessfully, to lift the veil themselves through sexual sin before marriage and the veil, which remains in place, is no longer a protection but is instead a repellent to marital love. Only God can lift the veil.
Unless the veil is removed by God in His time, the veil covers and obscures one’s true and best self and therefore one is never fully seen by their spouse and can never truly be loved. Because they are never fully loved, it leads to insecurity and self-doubt, dissatisfaction and drama. This drives the couple apart and leads to divorce and complaints of dissatisfaction.
Only God can lift the veil in His time through the virtue and power of Chastity. You do not want to attempt to lift the veil yourself through sexual sin before marriage. It is a spiritual veil that you cannot lift. Only God can. Nor do you want to enter into marriage with the veil still concealing your true and best self.
The Veil theory is loosely derived from Blessed John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, St. Thomas Aquinas, Alice and Dietrich Von Hildebrand and others. The Veil is just a metaphor. There is no Catholic doctrine surrounding it nor does anything similar to this metaphor result from a Google search. It is just a metaphor.
The goal in my heart is to encourage you, the single girl, in Chastity and to give you the insight that what feels like rejection from men is really God’s protection. It helps to know that the man who is rejecting you and sending you double messages cannot ‘see’ you so it is impossible for him to love and fully appreciate you…even if he tried.
But what about the man who God intends for you? Will he see you fully? Oh, yes. Will you be loved and cherished? Oh, yes. Wait on the Lord.
Does the concept of the veil ring true to you based on your experience as a single person? In other words, have you dated someone who acted interested but then, for some reason, did not want to move things forward? If so, write to me or leave me a comment below.
Let’s support each other!
The Veil of Chastity 
Good morning so I have had every relationship end in about 6 months and every time it because the guys heart belongs to another woman.( they have one sided love, ex comes back into their life, they met someone new or she wasn’t sure but now she knows) This last one I was really sad and frustrated I asked God why and he told me that I’m being veiled to trust Him and let Him lead me just as He lead Eve. Now excited yes but frustrated because I’m literally separated and hidden away I work 3rd shift and God has my schedule packed for the next 3 months with church leadership events😂 So ladies if being veiled means your in a place where no man is able to even step into your life just know God is setting you apart for purpose and reason. God will lead you so just devote time with Him.
Thank you for sharing this, Dare to Hope!
Wow, your website is a total blessing. I’ll be reading all of your articles and sharing your insights with those around me. Thank you.
I have prayed a long time for the Godly man I have longed for. Four years single now. Ok always felt I was invisible to men. I was! I truely believe the Lord covered me and protected me from men who were not the man I’m intended to be with. I’ve prayed and fasted. I don’t want to make another mistake. Today driving home from work, the Lord put this thought in my mind.” I am lifting the veil from you. You will no longer be invisible.” I sought in the word and happened upon your site. I know it’s time for me and my intended to see each other. I have not dated or sought out any body. I felt God forbid me to date. Now I’m waiting to see what will happen! I would like to keep in touch with you, if possible. God bless you and reward you for your insight. Barbara
Wow, this is right on time. I’ve been crying pretty much all day because a guy who was so “hot” suddenly went “cold”. When I started seeing the signs of his “cold” behavior, I mentioned my concerns and he basically told me, “I understand your concern, but I’m busy with work. I’ll call you tomorrow so that we can discuss it”. “Tomorrow” came and went and today he hasn’t said anything. No apology for not keeping his word, no real concern about my concerns, nothing. I’ve been making excuses in my head; “maybe something came up, maybe he’s feeling defensive because he knows I’m not happy with his coldness, etc.” But I know deep down that a man that is right for me would not treat me this way. So, this post was very helpful to remind me of who I am in God and how much He loves me. Loves me enough to protect me. Thanks so much. #newreader
You are not alone, AK as this hot and cold is a signal of non-interest. It is an indirect way for guys to let girls know not to get their hopes or expectations up. You are smart to recognize it and know that God intends more for his daughters. Please write to me if you need reinforcement/support while you break away from him. I will be praying for you. God bless, Cindy. Theveilofchastity@gmail.com
I’m not a Christian so please excuse my language, but this essay is f——g brilliant. Consider me a new sister of your Veil. I hope you will consider and welcome a new age convert to these beliefs 🙂
Welcome! Please feel free to write to me theveilofchastity@gmail.com
I truly agree with you. I once had a guy that was after me for years. He would always say give us a chance. I felt that he was not serious but over the years I guess a part of me wondered what it would be like. So, one time we were sitting down and talking and he asked me to give us a chance. I decided to go for it. Next thing I know.. he doesn’t even remember the conversation. He feels attracted to me and is interested in being around me but he no longer talks about relationships and marriage like he did that night. He suddenly decided that we were good friends and that I am a great person its just that he isn’t ready for a relationship. Which had me confused because he came to me asking me out but then turn around and act as if….he never said a thing.
Hi Cleopatra,
Yes, it feels like rejection but it is really God’s protection. Thank you for your comment. Praying for you! Cindy
Hi there I wanted to say that reading this post was exactly what I needed to hear. On Wednesday night I cuddled with this guy and watched a movie. I wanted to stay the night but his roommate did not want visitors so I was walked home. I was disappointed I had wanted to fall sleep with him. I didn’t even want to kiss I just wanted the safety of his arms around me. I told him that I felt like I was rejected by him and he used the roommate as an excuse. He replied I wanted you to stay whether you think that or not. That made me feel better for the moment. Then he said maybe tomorrow and like a beacon of hope I grabbed on to his words for dear life. But yesterday, he didn’t message me until the evening and said my phone died and my roommate isn’t leaving. Well he texted me this evening that his roommate wouldn’t to be home. To which I replied what should we do. He said watch a movie. It sounded like fun to me so hours later he said my roommate is still here. Then he asked me if he could come over and then after not responding for a long time said that his roommate was leaving. I asked him if he could come to my dorm to pick me up he said yes be there as soon as possible. And I said yay. Not even a minute after he said no overnight guests. Which is true but people walk in and out of that dorm and it sounded like another excuse to me. He said there would be other times and I thought to myself no there won’t be other times. I messaged him that this was a cycle and I wanted out. He asked me permanently? I said yes. I felt rejected at the time but after reading this and looking for support on Google I realized that I’m done. Then I clarified that I was done with the cuddling and that he was still a cool person. God if you’re listening thank you for the protection! And thank you for this post.
Dear Lana,
Thank you so much for your comment. Yes, that sweet rejection is for our protection! I have added you to my Divine Mercy Chaplet prayer list and will be praying for you to continue to fight against that temptation. Write to me anytime: theveilofchastity@gmail.com
Love and blessings, Cindy
Hi, Where in the Bible do you get this theory of the Veil from? If you did not get it from Scripture then how do you know its from God and it is theologically correct? This doesn’t seem to be a Biblical theory as much as it is your own theory.
Dear Cindy,
I’ve commented here before — as a single Catholic woman I so appreciate this blog and the “veil” concept! THANK YOU AGAIN! Actually, the “veil” idea really helped me get over a bit of a rejection from a guy that happened recently — a year ago I would have been totally thrown by it but now I just think — oh well, I’m disappointed since he’s a great guy, but he just can’t see me! It’s really helping me begin to trust God more, and His plan. I even asked that God only let the “one” see me and keep me hidden from the rest — which was surprisingly hard to ask because Lord knows I crave attention from guys.
I was thinking maybe sometimes Christ gives a man a special grace to be able to look at the woman who will one day become his wife and get just a glimpse of how Christ sees her. Christ always gazes at us with such incomprehensible love, I bet that would be enough to set a guy head over heels for a girl — and to really appreciate her as a person! Maybe that type of a grace can be continued in marriage and related to the “superabundance” of holy matrimony that you wrote about.
Anyway, just an idea. Thanks again for the blog — love it and sharing it with friends!
ADJ
Thank you so much ADJ! You have nailed the concept of The Veil! I have been praying for you and would love to hear from you and catch up! God bless and thank you again! Cindy
Hi Cindy,
I came across your blog as a fellow member of the Catholic Bloggers Network, and would love your permission to link to this post in one of my upcoming blog posts next week! Wow. What an amazing concept…My husband and I had many many missed opportunities to meet – we lived less than a mile apart – but we were both living outside of God’s Will at that time, and only later, when we both prayed for God to step in and take over the search for our soulmates, did we find each other – on Catholic Match of all places! We were married less than a year and a half after our first date.
God is AMAZING and AWESOME! Thank you for this post and your insight! We would love for you to stop by http://newlywedlefebvres.com anytime! 🙂
God Bless You,
Pier
Hi Pier! Praise be to God when the concept rings true for others! Yes, of course you may link to anything you would like. Oh, I love your story and will hop on over to your blog to check it out. Maybe a guest blog post in the future here telling your story? I will email you. Thank you so much! Cindy
Dear Cindy,
Receive my love from Kenya. This blog here is the panacea i was looking for (I read it when i was having disordered emotions towards a certain guy, things were getting out of hand, and he hasn’t even taken me out on the standard 3 dates to earn the right of my thoughts!Can you believe that Cindy!!??? Thank God i now know better…any time I’m remotely tempted to obssess with him, that is a decade of the rosary…hooray). I’m your greatest fan. I’ll share it with as many girlfriends as I can…thank you, thank you. I’m sure Mother Mary is looking down on you with so much Love. This i like, very very much!!!! Xoxo, Jecinta
J
Dear Jecinta,
Receive my love from the US! Thank you for your sweet note of encouragement about the blog. I have added you to my Divine Mercy Chaplet prayer list. God love you, Cindy
…suddenly everything makes sense, I am speechless. God Bless and thank you, Suzy, xo!
I love to hear that the Veil resonates with others. I will send you an email directly as I am always interested in the details! I have added you to my Divine Mercy Chaplet prayer list. Thank you for your note and for visiting! Cindy
Hi Cindy! I came across your blog a few weeks ago! It’s amazing to see how the Holy Spirit works throughout the world! Even though I live a few miles apart from you, in France 😉 , I always had this image of a veil covering me from my “Holy Spouse” as you say.
My experience is a bit different as I asked God to hide me from the wrong guys so that nobody will bother me until the time has come… and it still hasn’t come…
Your blog is very helpful and I read everything! I’m waiting for your book 🙂
God bless!
Hi Ecbatane! Thank you for your comment. I love seeing all the visitors from the various countries! I love that you asked God to hide you from all suitors except for your Holy Spouse and I look forward to following the love story that God is writing for you. I need to get going on my book! Right now it is in need of some strong editing so it will be while before it is published. I have added you to my Divine Mercy Chaptlet prayer list. Thank you again for writing and for your encouragement! Cindy
Thank you for giving some insight on why things didnt go further with certain ppl…it was in HIS plan
Thank you for your comment. I think it helps explain a lot and I am glad that it helped you. God bless! Cindy